It kind of borders on stupidity. I'm harsh but she's fucking with his self esteem , patience and taking advantege of his good nature and he puts up with her?????????????. I'm a nice guy myself that can tolerate most crap someone throws at me in a relationship but not this....there has to be a limit. I too have my fears, i'm not that good in bed and i'm not so well hung in fact i'm a little below average but I have given multiple orgasms and not just once..it's a matter of connecting with your partner and trying your best to please her... DUMP HER!!! Get someone better
i didn't read all the comments, but your story made me wonder about your girl, usually when girls feel the need to act this way they have some unfinished business from past or some problems with their own selfimage and so on. i can understand you actually, and i can understand your girl and i do believe it's kinda ok. but at some point i really hope things will change for you you simply can't go on like this forever. ou and btw i Do Not believe that you're THAT bad in bed c'mon. you just worry too much. of course it's always good to learn some new tricks
Gang, since you were all so candid with your feedback, I figure you deserve an update. Last Friday evening, about an hour after we both got home, I had it out with her. So as not to sound like a grand jury, I made sure to use all the key no-fault phrases ("...different points in our lives...," "...differing priorities...," "...we gave it a good try, but...") and to avoid mentioning the professor. She looked completely poleaxed, but didn't try to re-sell me on the relationship. (Not sure if I should feel hurt about that or not.) The upshoot is, she'll be moving out sometime within the next twenty-four days. We may see each other after that, occasionally -- or we may not. If we do, I doubt I'll invest too much in our meetings, emotionally speaking. Of course, this means I'll have to pay an extra $450 per month to cover her share of the rent and utilities, but like the saying goes, freedom isn't free. My credit's much better than hers is. It'll be interesting to see what kind of shithole she ends up in. [/Schadenfreude]
Glad to hear it. You will find someone much better. Next time you should not go on about how bad in bed you are though, self esteem is important in a partner. Good luck.
Good on you for speaking up when you weren't happy.... While it seems that your particullar situation has been resolved, I have a question for some of the previous posters. Some of you appeared to be quite angry at the comments Booga's (ex)girlfriend made that she "needed variety". It appeared that some of you believed that if someone was truly happy in a relationship, was sexually fulfilled...then they wouldn't find any need to look outside for "variety". If there is anyone with this point of view, I am interested to know why. The reason is that personally I do feel this way...variety is the spice of life and sexual variety keeps things interesting and energised. An experience with one partner will never be the same as with another - why restrict oneself? Does it mean I care about one or another partner less, or not as much as I should?
If I care about someone then my sexual variety stays confined to that person. A woman's body is like a temple....there are so many ways in which you can "worship"..so many places..so many oportunities you just need to use your brain and your imagination and almost any fantasy can come true. I'm very open minded for that matter and would try almost everything to be pleased and please my loved one..there are only a few places where i wouldn't go ( fantasies that involve fecal matter and urine..i absolutely reject) ..but outside of those 2 restrains the optiones are opened: role playing ,anal play, dominatrix....whatever..name it . If my loved one someday decided that she needs variety with another person then i would break up with her....i really could not look into her eyes and say " i love you" anymore..she would be..tainted. I just can't stand that.....my loved one is only mine. PS: Why am i under the impression that you are the girl?
Thanks for the reply SwitchBlade And no I'm not "the" girl from Booga's post. I live in Australia and I've never met Booga! These are just issues I'm interested in that's all...and some circumstances in my life (I broke up with a boyfriend of four years about a month ago among other things) have made me rethink my stance on this. I used to feel like you do SwitchBlade but my opinions are slowly changing and I'm trying to (re)understand myself and other people on this.
Dude, I totally resent that. Just because I loaned my heart to an emotionally stunted manipulatrix doesn't mean I'd ever stoop to shacking up with someone named "The Mighty Toenail." Anyway, Ex doesn't know Hip Forums exists. That's why I spilled my guts here. No need for anyone to censor him- or herself. But, actually, Mighty Toenail, you raised a good point. If you can overlook my jab about your handle (as though a guy named "Booga" has any right to talk!), I'll address it. I don't see anything wrong with craving variety. Like you said, it can be the spice of life. That's one reason I agreed to Ex's terms: they made a kind of sense. But the better I got to know her, the more I began to suspect that her insistence on keeping a number of lovers had less to do with love of variety than fear of emotional committment. Even that I might have been able to tolerate a bit longer -- emotional committment is a pretty scary thing, after all -- but I could never get her to cop to her fear. To me, dishonesty spells immaturity, and that I can't handle. Make sense now?
Not much to say here, as you've already resolved the issue with the woman in question. As to the variety issue, I agree with SwitchBlade -- I love variety, want to explore the earth, but only with my partner. To the person who raised the question, you explain that you've just ended a four year relationship -- perhaps your reconsideration of your feelings on this issue are as much a reaction to the pain you're probably still feeling as anything else. I know that, in the past, when I've ended long term relationships, I went wild. I had more than my share of variety and was against getting into any serious commitment for a while. That was what I needed, both to heal and to spend time working on myself (dealing with some of the issues that led to the previous breakup). So definitely enjoy this time. If you find that a polyamorous lifestyle works for you in the long term, great. I found that I much prefer a deep, commited, monogamous relationship, though it took longer than I had hoped to find a good man worth pursuing such a relationship with! Now, back to the OP: Don't settle because of this. Find a woman who is willing to work on it. First -- if you get her there (preferably a few times) with your fingers/tongue/toys before you ever penetrate her (and this works regardless of your size or how quickly you come!), she's more likely to get off during sex, but regardless she is not likely to have any complaints in the end. Second -- if you can, find a woman who likes to take charge, who will tell you what she wants and how to get her there. If your now ex was not able to communicate to you what she wanted, if she did not work with you to improve your performance, then I don't believe she is anywhere near as open with her sexuality as you make her sound. A lot of women *think* they are being open and free by having lots of casual sex, but are really just fitting themselves into stereotypes without really learning to be open about their sexuality and comfortable with their bodies.
