I work 40 hours a week to be this poor. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
Pick Up Lines I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
I've gone off them a bit lately - but I really used to dig graves. If you have a pet eel and it loves you-that's a Moray. Somebody stole my thesaurus-I just cannot find the words to describe my feelings....
I'm in lust with a hottie on HP, and when she said she thought I was flirting with her I told her.... Don't need to hit you in the head with a club....cavemen drag women by the hair so they don't fill up with dirt..... I think she lusts me too......
Sorry to confuse you, the thread is one liners....the one liner is supposed to be.... "Cavemen drag women by the hair so they don't fill up with dirt."
Well, Yeah. I know what the thread is supposed to be about. One liners are normally supposed to be funny though, aren't they?
Two Jewish women meet in the street. If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. 'I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.' -Mae West Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Today is my anniversary, the wife gave me a card that says..... "Marriage is natures way of keeping us from fighting with strangers."
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant. What is the difference between "oooh"and "aaaaaaah"? About three inches. Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?” I hope life isn't a joke...cuz I don't get it.
