hmmm... is that you? if so... i dare you to go fellate yourself. It's not much of a "strech" from there.
Oh my God, Ed. Marry me immediately before you go. But wait, how many stamps do I need to put on a letter to Flannery?
Krystin? is that you? of course i'll marry ya! um... i dunno... go to the post office and ask em to figger it fer ya... demand it from the lazy post-worker-assholes!