Once...

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by KarmaComa, Jan 27, 2005.

  1. KarmaComa

    KarmaComa Member

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    And I once knew him...
    Oh, how I knew him
    tangled up in my heart
    With those dirty eyes
    and dirty lips
    I slipped into his bedroom
    In the hours of night
    I let him inside me
    At the first hint of light
    all we knew was lost
    My thoughts on love...
    redefined...
    For him...
    I'd be a poor mans wife


    And he once forgot me...
     
  2. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

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    Elegant images, here! Loved how it unfolds, and the end adds a nice little twist. Thanks!
     
  3. KarmaComa

    KarmaComa Member

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    Thank you. :)
     
  4. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    ~* Nice one! Enjoyed this thanks so much. Fav Lines.*~

    At the first hint of light
    all we knew was lost
     
  5. innocentpoison333

    innocentpoison333 Member

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    Excelent, I liked it very much, it conveys a lot of passion...:)
     
  6. KarmaComa

    KarmaComa Member

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    Thank you. :)
     
  7. Major Peacenik

    Major Peacenik Member

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    lovely, lovely, awesome. great images, great lines... "I'll be a poor man's wife." I've felt that way, thank you for putting it into words.
     
  8. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

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    This was top class, I...wow. Can I get back to you on this one? Also, in your signature, you have 'barefootanddancingdreamer'. Is that your old name/ persona? If so, do you remember me? Hope to embrace you!

    Firebell (the one of long ago...)
     
  9. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    ~* idgit?? is that you?.My hannah?..pfffffffft~ If it is, yer a brat to not have told me!*~
     
  10. KarmaComa

    KarmaComa Member

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    Yep, it's me! I sure do remember you Firebelle. You were my favourite poet! Plus, we share the same name. :) Kim, you already knew I was an idgit!! :p I love you.


    Thanks for all the comments. I appreciate them.
     
  11. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    I been having a continual stream of fluffy brain moments too evidently. How the hell did I miss barefootdancingdreamer..right under the post, lmao~! I think we oughta have a spring break gathering here at the house btw!! bhaskar would be on school break...get you and cloudie...and try to drag a few others like stellablue, or at least her other half, ect! have a tent city in the yard, and the shed is all cleaned out too. Open house!
     
  12. KarmaComa

    KarmaComa Member

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    That sounds great! I don't know about getting Stellablue to come, but we can sure try! Let me know when you plan on it and whatnot. I'll be there! :)
     
  13. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

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    Yay you do remember me! Hannah, twin names twin souls! Aww and I was never your favourite poet, you silly! I wish I could have written a poem like the one in this post...my poetry is just a load of fluff really. Love you lots XxX
     
  14. KarmaComa

    KarmaComa Member

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    Your poems are always great Firebelle. I have yet to read one that I did not like.
     
  15. HerbuhLovuh

    HerbuhLovuh raa

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    this is real now !
     
  16. KarmaComa

    KarmaComa Member

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    Was it fake before??
     
  17. HerbuhLovuh

    HerbuhLovuh raa

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    Yes. Everything, before right now, was fake, and eveyrthing, after now, is oh so real[snake-like trailers in voicesssses].
    Except when now becomes fake. hehehe.
     
  18. HerbuhLovuh

    HerbuhLovuh raa

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    Now your poem was real....
    Now is just defining my own space in time so I can say, hey, now I know your for real....
    LoL
    Now I am having known nothing before I knew that.Each moment created anew.
    The potential of absolutely everything we could do.
     
  19. HerbuhLovuh

    HerbuhLovuh raa

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    Since you asked and I am now thinking interested...

    My thoughts on love...
    redefined...
    For him...
    I'd be a poor mans wife


    And he once forgot me...



    So I remember, now, what hit me, is that $$$ is not-reality.
    Perhaps, when we begin to love, for real now, we lose value, but gain creative power.
    I have no value or $$$
    Now I am creative....
    So I am moved...
    now to the stars again LoL
     
  20. KarmaComa

    KarmaComa Member

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    I don't think we lose value when we begin to love. I think thats when we gain value. We are at our best point when we are in love. For real. One thing I have come to realize though, I do not write when I am in a relationship. Werid huh?
     

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