I don’t know if my early experience is a common one or not. At age 12, I had never heard the word, “masturbation”, or any words related to it, including “orgasm” and “ejaculation.” I had only learned the word, “boner,” for the first time at camp the prior summer. That’s also where I heard the word, “jizz,” for the first time, but only in the context of what happens when you fuck. So when, at that age, I discovered masturbation on my own, I had no vocabulary to discuss it, even with myself. Indeed, I truly believed I had discovered something new (and secret) that the rest of the world didn’t know about — the wonderful discovery that you could experience the sweetness of a jizz-filled urethra without having to find a willing female partner to absorb all that jizz. And that secrecy — that beautiful illusion that I was alone in this knowledge — that’s why I made up my own words for various aspects of masturbation. For the whole act, start to finish, I called it, “rubbing a jizz.” So as I crawled into bed each night, for example, I’d say to myself, “I’m gonna rub myself a jizz now.” Very close to the modern phrase, “rubbing one out.” For the delicious sensation each stroke produced on my penis, each one was a ”zoosh.” For the sensation when you begin to feel that climax is approaching, that was the ”cresh” (short for crescendo). For the point of no return, that was the “lunge.” For the actual sensation of the climax itself (which I likened to a thousand little Tinkerbells fluttering around inside my penis with their wands scattering sparkly fairy-dust throughout my entire being), that was the “zingle.” The sensation of semen gushing through my penis-plumbing, which I likened each squirt to a lightning bolt flashing in my urethra — those pulses of pleasure I referred to as the “lightzings.” For the actual geyser I observed erupting from my penis, I used the obvious word. That was the “squirt.” For the pelvic-floor contractions that persisted rhythmically for several minutes after all the jizz was out, those were the “dits.” Of course it wasn’t long after that that I learned I hadn’t discovered anything new. Within a year, my dad had a short talk with me. He said, “You know that masturbating can’t hurt you.” I had never heard the word and had to ask him what it meant. “That’s when you rub your penis till it squirts semen.” I knew right away that semen was a synonym for jizz. “Masturbating won’t make you weak and it won’t make you crazy and it won’t make you hairy.” Well that was good to know, but I had never heard any of those myths, so there was to sigh of relief over it. “It’s a normal part of growing into a man.” All my illusions shattered at that moment. Thanks Dad. And very soon after that I knew the words, orgasm, and ejaculation. But those words sound so clinical and polysyllabic. I liked my words way better. And the word, masturbation... Again too many syllables. Plus it comes from the Latin root, “turba,” which means, disorder. The suggestion is there is something disturbing about it (again that same Latin root). And the words like “wank” and “jerk off” all have very negative connotations as well. I didn’t think of it back them, but I’ll propose a new word for the whole act — “enfroy” (which is the verb form). Just two nonjudgmental syllables, sounds like “enjoy,” and is from the German root, “freuen,” which means “to please.” So happy and carefree enfroyment everybody!
