I went camping with a 2 buddies recently to the sequoia forest. while there i took about 4 hits of this acid that was dropped onto gummy bears. My first time doing acid but ive used psychedelics a few times before that. The trip went great. I was having a wonderful time at first, getting confused when i tried to make sense of things, but i wasnt trying to do much of that anyways. i had took a walk to the river right by our campsite and sat and watch the river for like 20 minutes, Ive never thought so hard about death. I felt as if its the ultimate destination. One that everyone was obviously headed to, but we all try to forget about it. I felt as though i was not only comfortable with death, but as if i wanted it. To try to reference... Imagine if death is a wall, and we are all at the bottom of it. For some reason, when im tripping, i feel like i get to sometimes peek over this wall. and whatever is over there is calling me... but i can never get myself over it. It really makes me want to gobble up all the acid in the world in an attempt to get over this wall, even though subconsciously i know still won't work. I started to cry at this river...Like the big boy i am huh.. ahahah... I started to think of death as this bliss that i wanted so bad.... I wasnt thinking of it like dark nothing nonexisting, i was thinking if it as i would finally get to go back to being one with everything,like when i die i wold simply just revert back to whatever the earth makes of me, i was getting jealous of the trees and plants around me, all they have to do is simply live... what kind of euphoria that must be. I started to contemplate suicide... telling myself its what i really want anyways. and then i snapped out of it, and was a little worried about myself. I left the river but this feeling kinda stayed, even now i wonder about all of this. Im not suicidal.. so don't get the wrong idea, I just have this new feeling about dying.... idk if i did a good job at explaining it.. But im curious to know if anyone has had any similar experiences? Or maybe even some wise words to share... Thanks!
You can like death or fear, death, but as it is going to happen anyways, why not try life first? I actually like death, I'm very comfortable with the idea, and the only anxiety I have, is of the actual transition from life to death.
LSD made me comfortable with the prospects of death because it seemed as if I gleaned some insight into some eternal process of which the life force goes through. However then I came across Salvia Divinorum and my notions of dying and death brought on by LSD got completely obliterated and replaced by something much more tormenting and darker. Several other trips have brought about Near death type experiences but seeing different sides of the spectrum, I have kind of gravitated back to center and not really concerned myself too much with death. Trying to focus more on life myself. If there is some sort of residing expanded consciousness, at least in the process of dying, I really hope it's much more along the lines of that LSD experience and some of the more joyful DMT experiences I've had, rather than that initial Salvia breakthrough trip.
pretty interesting post. but don't go over the wall yet, bro! i've had some thoughts on death before, while tripping. the cemetery near me is very beautiful and like a nature preserve, so i go to it during a lot of my trips. i don't think i've figured anything out....i don't think i was trying too. like, GB i may have gotten some thoughts about death at times, but i guess now i am more focused on life, something that i can actively participate in. when death inevitably happens, we will see what happens. but you might not get to sit by the river and cry, so enjoy it while you can
Just remember there's no rush, we're all dying to get there I remember the stark reality of looking down from my friend's 27th floor balcony on the ground below and realizing how casually close death is at all times. We have a cultural brainwashing in the west to fear and distance ourselves from death; had we been born in a small Himalayan community we might have a different set of ideas from growing up with people being buring in the open air all around us ("Sky burials"). It can seem "a problem" to suddenly become very comfortable with death, and even personal death, but this is actually good health, not something to be concerned about.
I agree, the western world/culture is far to shielded from death. PR's recent thread about his grandmothers funeral and the responses it elicited exemplify that mentality. nobody get's outta here alive
Make no mistake, lsd is a journey into death and beyond. My first lsd trip was the worst with death, I literally rolled around for hours and kept coming back to that "wall" of death. It was an overwhelming feeling of life not having any real worth, because our ultimate goal was worms to eat our dead carcass. With no real sense of what lies behind the grave, it was a very scary very overwhelming idea. But I tried to ignore it, but it wouldn't let me ignore it. It kept pushing itself on me over and over. Sooner or later, lsd made me face the fact of death, made me look at it, see it, and then go through it. Death is not the end, death was only the end from this perspective, you are beyond death. You can over the wall, see over the edge, maybe even travel on the other side. You have to face death, to really see what lsd has to offer you have to face death. It scary, its terrifying, its real. You must come to your own true feelings of death, in fact you must come to your own death. But once you get through, a great burden will be lifted from your shoulders, then fear can touch your surface, but deep inside nothing will be able to unsettle you. Fear arises from death, and you will be free from death. Your body will die, but you will not die. You will see what the other side holds for you, you'll find the higher power, and you will be led to your own divinity. The higher realms are full immense light and beauty, extreme beauty, and it will come through to you if you follow the lsd and let it be. I'm really glad you had this experience, it is a great opportunity to discover your own soul. Take advantage of this opportunity!
I am personally unaware of a time when I was not. The only evidence for not being is the body and it seems to separate us but it's only function is communication. The body is a biological machine, a communication device set a certain frequency but our whole being rides other waves as well. Surf the river while you are able.
I would like to add that this experience of the sense of oneness with all things associated with these flights of mind is an obvious recognition of our inheritance which assaults the evidence of the body, ego death, the ego calling the body it's home.
Based on psychedelic use, hospice and related work, a lot of study, and other things, I'm convinced that psychedelics have the propensity to help people be easier around death. It's this huge side effect that gets relatively little attention. You can see the reality of it in the above posts. These guys know what they're talking about - through experience, not from a Sunday school lesson plan. I came back into this in part because I'm getting pretty close to death in terms of advanced age and I thought, what if I get a life-threatening illness like cancer (my preference)? What am I going to do, walk around asking young people who look like they might know, "Do you know where I can get some LSD?" I don't think that would go well lol. Re any suicidal thoughts: for one thing, don't trip alone for awhile. I wouldn't trip with guns around. If the thoughts it gets to be a deal, don't know where you're from, but a lot of places, especially those with universities, have counselors. By the way, most people have such thoughts on the journey through life - independent of drug use. Good luck to you. Like others say, what amazing things to experience.
Yeah I've had that before were I started crying because it was so intense, then I worked everything out in my head and it has changed my viewpoints on life ever since then.
