Yeah... I just had some one from my old town talk to me. I didn't really care what they said (Shes an airhead telling me how retarded I'm getting from smoking pot... load of BS) but they were talking about how I would have been able to live with my step dad if I had only gone sober (Tried it before didnt work) but it just got me thinking about all my old friends, my old life, the people I loved and cared about and then about how my education has been screwed over and the hell of a time I'm gonna have trying to get into college. Well I'm getting this mounting feeling of depression and I don't know what to think or what... It sucks... A lot... Sorry to bitch but I felt like bitchin
No offense, but it is kind of retarted, smoking pot. (I know I say this at the risk of having things thrown at me by others, but I really don't care.) It's okay to vent... But what you ought to do is put some priorities or goals in your life... it's very easy to focus on all the negative shit in your life... but it's really all a waste of time. If you set some kind of goals - even if they're just for the next year or two, it's better than nothing. Work towards them and it'll get you out of the rut that you're in now. I know it's easier said than done, but trust me... a little elbow grease and you'll do much better in life...
Yeah.. things can look pretty bad when looking back.. it's easy just to see the shitty stuff.. but at least you are also focussing on the future (going to college) and since you have been through a lot already I'm sure you know deepdown somewhere that you are strong enough. When life hands you lemons... throw them at people But seriously.. I know what you mean.. I'm in some kind of fight with my parents and it's my birtday in two days.. last week they celebrated our holiday thingie ('sinterklaas', similar to santa claus) without me (even without me knowing it.. I heard it from them afterwards).. made/makes me feel kinda lonely and sad an all.. I'm probably gonna see them on Sunday though and I'm kinda stressed out about it already.. this is one of those years I just wish that all the holidays were over and gone. So.. what are we gonna do 'bout it?.. we're sort of hippies right.. so.. only one solution... GROUP HUG!!
yeah, the key is to forget regrets. they don't really do you any good. live and learn, move forward. there's no point in pining for the past. to be honest, i have very few memories that don't make me cringe or get extremely nervous just thinking about them, so i don't bother with them much, unless i find myself presented with a similar choice and decide to make a different decision. the key thing is, you're doing fine. every day above ground is a pretty good one.
