Ok people... lets be honest! What do you really want?

Thats easy.....I want someone that will love me as much as I love them , and treat me with the same affection and respect that I give them.....

 

erich fromm said once "to love is to show to an active request towards the life and the growth of the being whom we loved. There, where it lacks that active preoccupation, there is no love."

true love implies responsibility, to love is to be responsible for the relation, to respect the psychic necessities of the other, to listen to them and to give an answer them. to communicate is so important in love, and to an extent, in life. without communication there is no love in a relationship.

something important in a person is the capacity to see the other as he/she is, to be conscious of his/her unicity, and to wish to see how it develops according to his/her own desires and ways, and not according to our plans. well, i think that, otherwise, it is not love, but exploitation.

to love is to open him/herself to the reality of how the other is; without dealing with which one complies to our expectations, it is to animate the partner to follow his/her way, although it's not ours, respecting and expressing simultaneously, by all means, our own necessities.


a true love is a feeling for the elected, a privilege of life, nobody cares how it lasts, it will last always in the one who could love and to be loved.

 

I want my fiancé. I want they way he calms me down so much, makes me feel safe and so peaceful. How light and loving his kisses and touches are. The way he always whispers that he loves me and kisses my cheek in the morning before work, and says im an angel and all sorts of wonderful things, and sometimes i hear. I want his open-mindedness, they way he listens to my ideas even though most think theyre crazy and silly. I want his honesty and faithfulness, and his silly humour, and how he believes in the unseen, like me.

I want his patience and the way he looks after me when im ill, and copes with my outbursts and stupid anger sometimes and such heightened emotion, and my illness. I want how hes always open to suggestion, and will happily come along if i fancy going somewhere new on holiday, or suddenly announce i feel like going camping in the hills. I want the way he loves his rabbits more than his job or most other people, and how he leaves me little notes about the house

 

What you want in a lover or mate at 20 may very well not be what you want in him or her at 50. People mature, and change, and you hope that the person you fall in love with in your 20s will be the same person you want to be with 30 years later (you both will have changed, hopefully in ways that keep your mutual attraction alive). About half the time, for various reasons, in the U.S. and elsewhere, lovers grow apart as they mature in different ways, and separate and/or divorce.

I read posts in the Love and Sex Forum from 15 year old boys and girls who say they are desperately in love with someone they met over the summer, on the internet, or at school, and want to be with them forever. On rare occasions, persons who meet in their mid teens become lifelong partners, still deeply in love when they die. But usually, such early love is a "first crush", the first time the boy or girl felt that they had found someone of the opposite sex whom they felt was a real soulmate. But in 99 of 100 times, it does not last, as circumstances or maturing of one or the other person changes their perspectives.

But each of us grows from such experiences, so that by the time we are really ready to settle down with out lifelong soulmate (if we are lucky enough to find him or her), we are mature enough, with enough "life experience", to have a fully satisfying relationship with that person of the opposite sex, and to raise children who share our values and happiness.

 

I just wanted to give this thread a little bump back to the top. I think its important that people come to terms with and share their needs and desires. Its healthy and it helps you think about what you really want.

 

So nobody else has anything else to add to this? Or are the rest of you just to lazy to type it out?

 

What I want in a woman is my soulmate, my best friend, a lifelong companion, and a passionate lover. Someone who is beautiful, talented and smart, and confides in me, as I do in her. And I have found her...

 

He found me..missing him at the moment. He is beautiful..hurts to be without him. An inside sick feeling, want to be with him so bad. Want to pack up here in the North and move South sooo bad but kids and job at moment are holding me back. It is so good to have it, but sometimes it is bitter-sweet only because of the distance. I hope you find it someday dear zen. Think about the fact of things. I wish the whole world could find that "unconditional love--For the good or the bad" as I was once told be this beautiful person in my life. Just longing I guess. To have that "other part of you" in your best friend--your lover, God made this special. That was the purpose of love. Between man and his woman. I love you. you know who you are....forever.

 

I fucked up mine by being the spazzy moron that I am.

I am still a spazzy moron around her, I'm not nearly as spazzy around other women.

I fucked up, I pay with oceans of sadness, I will continue to pay, I accept that, it doesn't make it any better.

I know I am not going to find another woman like her, I know that since love is outside of logic it is possible to love more than one person unconditionally, it's going to suck to search though.

(and before the cynics do the whole, "oh, he is 20, he really doesn't know what love is, it was just a crush and he is being all emo" I've done a good part of this spectrum now, I do recognize that what I have with this woman is love, it just doesn't conquer all. it'd be nice to believe it did, it doesn't)

 

what?! love doesn't conquer all?! dammit! i was counting on that!

 

I feel for you terribly, but you know there is a cute little thing.

If you love something set it free, if it comes back -it was meant to be,
If it does not, it was not.

But there is also, this too, there is a God, and if you acted like a spaz--
Well, don`t feel alone, I did it not too long ago, and I am twice your age.

There is this wonderful man in my life, now. I had a f`n spaz over somethin
and I almost blew it myself sooooo dam bad. I almost lost this man. But be
between me realizing, if I was gonna have a "spaz", I had gone about it
the wrong way. I hurt him real bad. I scrambled sooo fast, so hard to get
to him, as he was saying forget "us". I got VERY lucky, that my man, saw
that it had hurt me, and I re-acted even though it was stupid how I did it.

I had to grow-up even at my age, when it comes to "growing-up" you do
not have to worry about your age to "grow-up". it is a matter of how you
go about something.

I thought I would not find the "right" person ever again for me. Well, I did
not. He found me, God, brought him to me. This will happen to you too.
Throw something in the personals on Hip. you`d be suprized. I was!!!

 

I know one that isn't too far...

 

I want someone who is intelligent,sensitive,funny that loves me the way I am,that is not afraid to make mistake but is smart enough to recognize them and not repeat them again,someone with whom I have things in common to enjoy things together and also differences to learn from eachother,someone who makes me want to invent a new word because none can describe what that person means to me someone who makes my world inside my head and the actual world become one.

 

oh,also someone who has a "something"that I havent posted because I didnt even know a person could be that way.

 

That's how it is with my partner as well. His endless patience with me is just amazing. And I've never had a relationship before where I feel so loved, cared for and safe. Tim's made me realize that security doesn't mean boring, he's made me appreciate that security and realize that that's what I want. I love how I can always count on him, that he's always there for me, and I love how he always manages to calm me down and when he says everything's gonna be ok I believe it. I love how he makes me laugh everyday and I love how he makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. He just makes me incredibly happy and I so hope I'm as good to him as he is to me. I dunno how I got this lucky..

So but yea, the answer to the question is... he's what I really want.

 

MUTUALITY
AUTONOMY
EMPATHY

But the above takes courage.

 

all i want is someone who treats me with respect and cares about me as much as i care about them

 

What I really want in a soul mate?

I want someone that I can trust. Someone who can be spontaneous. She needs to be willing to travel and open to new cultures.

She needs to express her needs to me. She will have to accept that I am human and that I do make mistakes.

I want honesty in how she feels. She need to realize that their input is always important to me, but I make the major financial decisions because I pay for everything.

She needs to be willing to help other people because my travels take me to places where there are people who need help and that is what is a big part of who I am.

She must be adventurous an open to new ideas. She must be willing to learn my businesses.

They have to be able to communicate and be a positive person who believes in people.

Must be wild in bed! I also demand and give absolute loyalty.

She has to have intense eyes because I see peoples soul through their eyes.

She needs to be loyal.

When I find her I will show her the world.

 

I dont focus on what I want, rather what I NEED in someone.

I need a girl who can kick my ass when I fuck things up.
I need a girl who can lead the way when I run out of ideas
She needs to be smart enough to stay ahead of my own thoughts
Ruthless! Unforgiving! A real dictator of a woman. But still caring and forgetful and funny and imperfect like people REALLY are.
Gotta be wild. Very random, to keep up with my crazy ass thoughts.
Normal. I've tried truly crazy girls. Ugh.
ambitious, knows what she wants and how to get it.

There's so much more that it'd be impossible to find all of them in a single person. Albeit a topic about soulmates, I try and keep things realistic.

 

To me love is simply being totally spiritually connected to your other half. People who knows what I am talking about knows this is the number one thing in love. You don't get that often.