Oh God, I need someone

z

 

So, did he deliberately break the thing?

Or, was he simply ignorant?

 

z

 

OK, so it wasn't malice, spite or anything, simply assuming that there would be no consequences?

 

Wow. That is just wrong and terrible in every way. (((hugs)))

 

(((Thelittleone))). You know what you need to do. I hope that you have a good support system (friends, not Mr. Dependable).

 

First tell your parents and let them freak out, then ask them what you need to do, then analyze the situation with your boyfriend. Then do what you have to do. And listen to what other people that care about you have to say because what you think might not be the right thing to do... If you really wanted a husband, a home etc before you wanted to pregnant , then why did you have sex in the first place? That is completely illogical. Anyway, right now you have only two options, remove it or keep it, and really the right thing to do depends on how much support you have back home. Good luck though.

 

good luck with everything. i cant imagine what an abortion would be like, but i cant imagine it would be easy. dont go by yourself, it will be much easier to bear with someone else there to hold your hand. i agree that you should dump your boyfriend, he does not sound very dependable to me, and very irresponsible. again, good luck and best wishes with everything to come.

 

It isn't.

 

I would think you should get some good test results before making any announcements or permenant decisions.

Good Luck!

(If we all chant: "Little One Not Pregnant...Little One Not Pregnant..." would it do any good?)

 

No, I think you should hate the man you're with for being an unemployed loser, and for maybe almost getting you perhaps pregnant.

For making you get an abortion, almost.

 

and ur a 20 yr old male??? Jeez how many 20 yr old men have chased me for sex and i don't think they had marriage in mind, let alone wait til they have a house b4 they have sex. Thank goodness for BC, they may not be perfect but they do allow some pleasure into our lives even before we get everything else in order.

 

Well........what happened????? Shit man dont keep me in suspense.....yay or nay?

 

No, but he should have told her. She could have easily gotten Plan B, Morning After Contraception, if she has known the condom broke, the day it happened, and she would not be in this mess.

Jedi, Not everyone who has sex is automatically interested in getting married and having a family right away. People have sex because they want to. It happens every day, and she assumed that they were protected by a condom. She knows she has to take repsonsibility, but it looks like her man isn't going to.

I don't blame her for being mad. It isn't him who is pregnant (or not, we don't know yet, do we?)

I hope you are OK, Little One.

 

First, as calm as you can, sit down with your partner and decide if you want this child. Think of personal opinion, financial responsibility, where you are in your life and what support there is. Remember, regardless of opinion on here and around you at home, there is no right or wrong decision.
Sometimes the thoughts we have are worse than the outcome. Just let yourselves think of the outcomes if you have the baby (what it means financially, socially etc) and what it means if you don't.
If you decide you don't and can't have the child then i would ask your doctor's advice regarding abortion. Although a sad thing to go through, it would be worse to have a child you can't afford to raise, you might even resent it. If it was me? although a hard thing i would know it was the better thing. I could never be selfish and have a child i know would not have everything, including a parent who was not in the right frame of mind or right place in my life to have it. If you're not ready then you're not.
Whatever you decide? It is what's best for you whatever it is. Only listen to youself and your partner and remember, in future you might want to think about going on the pill as well as using condoms. On their own neither are 100% but together the chance of getting pregnant is even smaller.

Nothing is set, you and your partnet have the power to make the right choice for yourselves. Don't be bullied or listen to anyone else but yourselves, that's the only way you can make the best decision and be happiest and satisfied that you have done so.

 

You see this is what needs to really change, many people don't really think ahead about the consequences of their actions, they just do what they "like" to do and ofcourse get themselves into trouble and increase their suffering. You see , when we put a little thought to what we are doing and what we need to do, we move away from suffering and probably take a decision that benefits us in the long run than gratify our senses in the present. Anyway, I apologize, maybe I came off as rude, and maybe she was pressured into sex by just another '20 year old' guy.

 

No. Women and men have sex because it's more than just a way to create children. It's a form of recreation with many benefits if done responsibly.

No one should have to wait until they are in the "right place" in their lives for creating children to exercise their right for recreational sex. If you take the proper precautions (both parties involved), then there are usually no adverse effects.

She did her part, and thought he did his. He didn't do his part.

 

Rubbish.

You have to be in a certain place for that to work. You havce to be able to handle the responsibilities thereof.

 

Yeah, and the responsibility of this scenario clearly rested on the shoulders of the boyfriend. He KNEW the condom broke and said nothing. Not very responsible, leaving TLO with a very emotionally trying situation. But we should all just shut up now and be supportive. She hasn't posted lately. I'm worried about her.

((((TheLittleOne)))) We're all here for you, whether we're arguing or not. Post again soon.

 

Whatever, HF, I'm all for personal responsibility in this case.

If the dude knew there would have been a problem and said nothing, that's one thing. He plumb didn't think it would matter, honestly, according to the OP, so his only sin is ignorance.

"I dunno what I'm gonna do" - not the right answer. That's my ultimate point. He should have known how he was gonna pay 18+ years child support, and she should have figured out if she was gonna keep it, or not, or what to do if he bailed.