I have a coworker that I see every day and who I've become friends with. We are both happily and monogamously married, so this is never going to be anything but fantasy, but I wanted to hear people's opinions. We have almost nothing in common. I am in my mid-fifties and she is in her early thirties. We are different religions; I am progressive Jewish and she is a devout Catholic. We disagree politically; I am a liberal Democrat and she is a conservative Republican. I live in an urban area and she lives out in the country. As I said, nothing in common. She isn't classically beautiful, but she is very cute. And lately I find myself having fantasies about her. At office meetings I find myself daydreaming about fucking her, tasting her. It's a little distracting, but harmless. The weird thing is, she is a person who I like and respect, but who I could never ever stand being in a relationship with. Just odd. Thoughts?
There really isn't any thoughts to add. You basically said everything. And the most important thing is that you are both monogamously married, so this would never happen. Also, it might never happen simply because she doesn't feel the same way. So, what is the point of any added thoughts? Lastly, I don't like that you don't find her beautiful. That rubs me the wrong way. I feel like if you're attracted to someone... you should be and will find them beautiful. Yea, people who are like you and openly expressed that the person they're dating or attracted to in any sense of the word are ugly because society considered them ugly. You can argue that. You're just speaking the "truth". But, you're the one that is calling them ugly. Well, in you're case not 'classically beautiful'. Point is, I don't think you're attracted to her. If you were... you would find her beautiful. So, whatever you're experiencing... it's something else. I don't know what, though.
Aoabaizing and Moonglow181, you both missed one of my main points, & you come off as rather self-righteous. I didn't say I don't find her beautiful. In fact, I do. What I said was she isn't classically beautiful, meaning she doesn't fit the stereotype of beauty in our society, meaning she looks like a real woman, not a supermodel. There is nothing ugly about her, and I never said there was. Most women I've been attracted to are not supermodel beautiful. The point of the post was having an infatuation with someone with whom one has little in common.
Nope, not self righteous....just know how i would feel if you were talking about me....I would feel like I was being judged as in a beauty contest and tell you to stuff it.....
In some way I am in a similar situation. There is this girl, who is my wife's best friend, who isn't the classical beauty and to be more specific she isn't even cute (I think her face has something not harmonious, but it is useless trying to describe it on a forum). She's been engaged for 6 years I think. In my thoughts, I would fuck her daily. I really don't understand what affascinates me about her, maybe she has a more flexible and less cumbersome personality than my wife, she is more relaxed in some way. All in all, I think it's a mere sexual attraction, just like the one you have for a gorgeous supermodel, but she isn't so gorgeous. I think in English you use the word "butterface" to convey the idea. It happened that my mother-in-law, talking about her, once said: "she is *very* ugly". I smiled insime me.
You can be attracted to someone you don't find beautiful. At least, I can. Intelligence, confidence, attitude and sense of style go a long way.
I'm sure YOU can. But, I just never understood someone saying something like, "I used to date someone that was ugly, so I don't care about looks. I liked their personality". It just dumbfounds me because they're acknowledging that the person is ugly. It just doesn't make sense to me. I've heard the same sort statement multiple times in my lifetime. Mainly by guys. And it still confuses me. I think this is a better example, because I feel like I'm not explaining myself correctly. On another forum, there was this guy that would post about girls that he would find attractive. And he would make a note to talk about things that were unattractive about them in order to talk about what he found attractive about them. For example, he would say something like that they had a chubby tummy, or something. And then he would be like, "But, that doesn't matter because they had a great personality. And other forum-goers would roast him for saying shit like that, because it was weird. So, I'm not the only one that thinks talking like that is weird. But, I also don't think I'm explaining myself correctly. I feel like shit right now. I think I'm having a partial seizure.
Not being beautiful is not the same as being ugly. Perhaps I should clarify my statement. What I meant was, that someone can not be my type physically, or be only moderately attractive, and still turn me on if they've got everything else going for them. I don't know if that makes sense.
Yea, I think I understand you. But, probably not. Because I feel like this is hard to explain on both our ends. Or maybe just mine, let's be real. I can't explain what's wrong with saying such statements like the one the OP stated and the examples I gave. But, I have seen other people dislike statements like that as well. So, I'm not the only one. It can be offensive to some people, and it doesn't make sense to some people. I just can't explain how. Like I said, I can understand how it can't be offensive TO YOU, simply because you're not me, lol. And it makes complete sense TO YOU, again because you're not me, or a person that shares the same mindset. But, I'm sure if I talk to someone else... they will make sense of it, and agree. I guess that's just how mating works. I don't know.
