Nudism (De-sexualized)

I know many say that anything to do with sex does not belong here, but please "bare" with me ;-)
The whole point is to reach those that are nudists, and that would be within this part of HF. I am a nudist in a blended family and we raised our kids ever since we got married in a nudist home. Our kids started at my son 8 and her daughter 14. As I have posted in other threads, I feel that not only in general nudism practice, but more importantly within the family home, we try too hard to scrub any hint of sexuality from our nudist experience. Immediately when I say this most purists say that I am now advocating for free range open sex...etc. That is far from the truth. What I am saying is that sexuality is not something that you can or even should turn ON and OFF it is gradient. Within the American textile culture they push the boundaries as far as possible to titillating and sexy. Women can be twerking and as provocative as they want to be, but OH My God if they expose a nipple or whatever. Even within the swinging community, they tend to prefer to wear "sexy" outfits or swimwear because the think it is more provocative than just being nude. Yet we in the nudist community are suddenly all need to be Priests and Nuns. Seemingly a bad example, but not really if you keep up with me. So, we all remember the whole scandal with priests molesting young boys? The thing is that when we try and remove something from our lives that is inherently normal, it manifests itself in other more corrupt ways. Now in the family situation, if any place should be more open and honest with each other, especially when the kids are going through puberty and their bodies are becoming sexual. That is when we unfortunately fail them the most. We as parents tend to be very uncomfortable with the subject because we have been taught that this is only between you and your lover. Many are completely opposed to PDA. Kissing hugging etc. Your parents should be that great example showing how a relationship should be. Again, I am not saying that we should just have sex out in the open as an example to our kids...wrong. I am saying that sexuality is gradient, and it is ok for them to see you being sexual without it being corrupted like our culture tends to make it. An erection in the morning and periodically throughout the day is a given for a man and especially a teenage boy . If we are saying that we should embrace our nudity yet run and hide when normal natural things occur, that is confusing to them. In my experience as a father, I have some regrets as to how I raised my son especially. He was very open with nudity earlier on, but when he felt that his body was no longer acceptable in the state that he found himself many times throughout the day he just stopped being naked. This was not by anything we said, but more that he did not find similar examples in our behavior. Now more in general with nudism at large, I think there is a misconception of what turns women off from nudism. Yes the creepy guys flaunting erections could be A cause, but women suffer more with what they feel their body "should" look like, or sometime what someone else feels their body should look like. For the same reason many women won't go without a bra, or allow their nipples to show through or in my wife's case worried about a slight roll that pudges over her pants line or back fat. Women are more worried about NOT being sexy than they are worried about things being too sexual. They see all of the celebrities wearing skimpy clothes and looking great in them. While their public images are made with lots of help. Botox, liposuction, cool sculpting, boob jobs, etc etc. after all of that, then their is photoshop. It is a huge jump from that in your mind to "letting it all hang out". Then once you get to the point of finally taking your clothes off, your mind has been soo conditioned that you still try to pin your knees together to keep from showing too much of your lady parts. It is all so crazy and confusing. It is all about the de-programming of what culture has pounded into our brains. Then there is the whole idea of not drawing too much attention to the parts of our bodies that within the textile culture are ALWAYS covered. Why is that such a big concern of the nudist culture. My wife and I both have genital piercings as well as nipple piercings. Until more recently it has been frowned on within the nudist culture. this is partly why many people do not join AANR clubs. People in general are much more gradient as well. Some are hard core nudist purists, and some are hard core swingers. 90% fall somewhere in between. That by default pushes 90% into either not participating or trying to fit into one or the other groups. My wife and I enjoy all of the in between. We have rolled around in mud at Turtle Lake Michigan Nude-fest while listening to bands all week with our son, and on the other extreme, we have been to Desire in Mexico where we have seen people have open sex in certain areas of the resort. We enjoy all of the gradients in between as well. Just hanging out at a nude beach (some days the crowd is racier than others) or just hanging out naked in a cove floating about by ourselves in lake havasu. Back when we went to Turtle Lake (AANR Campgrounds) I was a bit newer to this nudist adventure. I too had an issue at the time with people not completely conforming to "the rules". I remember their was a younger very pretty and flirty lady that was watching the bands and while sitting there was being a bit provocative with the young men sitting next to her. I immediately went to one of the staff and questioned them about it because I had my 12 year old son with me. They were like, oh that's so and so, she is a bit flirty. She is a long time member and means no harm. Now looking back, I was the one in the wrong and was setting a bad example for my son. I remember meeting her the next day when we were playing volleyball, and she turned out to be a very nice lady. It was I that was stuck in the mud. She hadn't done anything extreme and for that matter wrong. Maybe by the letter of the law, she was wrong, yet I was hypersensitive to anything sexual due to what I had learned what nudism was "supposed" to be. All of that is hogwash. Just act normal and consider those around you which will vary form day to day. As they say, "when in Rome do what the Romans do". There is a lot to be done for women to embrace nudism more, but unfortunately that all starts in our culture at large. Women today are again starting to embrace their natural body form. I see more women going without a bra and or wearing clothes that are not so constricting, or even leggings that are thin and do not smooth out their imperfections. That all will likely lead to a rebound in women being confident when they finally do shed their clothes. In summary, I feel we as nudists need to learn to embrace our bodies in their entirety. There are no longer "private" parts and shed our modesties. A man cant hide his penis, and women shouldn't pay attention to what degree her legs are apart or how she bends over. These are all carryovers from our textile culture and ways to draw fine lines removing small hints of sexuality. It is all just wrong. Live and embrace life. Embrace your own body and be free. Do what is right for you and do not be pressured by all of the people here or anywhere else on social media where they will shout you down if you believe differently than them.

 

I know right. Sorry for the long read.

 

I've been there too. I remember when my first wife decided she was going to "challenge the norm", be free and open with her body; which meant not hiding her vulva. And I remember freaking out about everyone around her being able to see her tanning and socializing "openly exposed." In hindsight I was being dumb; but I was "programmed" to be dumb.
It can take work to get over the "programming." But it's meaningful work. Because embracing being free with your body (within the boundaries of the nudist environment), and embracing others being free, can lead to more openness and acceptance.

I'll have more to say about this a little later.

 

Thank you JH. I've been thinking, and sometimes posting in various places, my version of exactly what you are conveying. Nudity is just part of Life, where nothing, other than perhaps the very beginning and the very end, is never all "this" and none of "that". It's (life) a never ending panorama of gradients and Venn-diagram overlaps. So why is it (to some) such a big deal to define, compartmentalize, and pigeon-hole nudity and nudism with the inevitable do's and dont's! Especially when it comes to being confident and comfortable with one's body, and how we display it, or how it decides to display itself, reflects our current level of relaxation, enjoyment, or what have you.
Thanks again!

 

Well, you guys are not the only ones to have come to the same observations and conclusions. Yet we've somehow become the "unpopular ones." At least online; which as we know is not always representative of the nudist community.

When striving for uninhibition is NOT a goal, you can end up with a resort/beach where people choose to be covered - for no other reason than to remain "hidden." At resorts, the concept of "clothing-optional" was started to give women some time to acclimate, accommodate women on their period, and give people the option to cover up when too hot or cold. But what we've seen at some resorts is people using "clothing-optional" as an excuse to just keep hiding. The "pro-clothing-optional" will say: "Why do you care? Are you here to look at naked people?" No. I care because the presence of "sarong-clad" women throughout the resort can deter others from exploring full nudity. It happened to my wife; and I've seen it happen with others. Once that standard is set at resorts, it's very hard to undo. Lake Como tried it; with mixed results.
Before my ex-wife became an uninhibited nudist, she wore a sarong most of the time. Then one day at a non-landed club, a nude woman asked my wife if it was because she was ashamed of her body. Just being asked that question provided the motivation she didn't know she needed to toss the sarong and stand naked in front of that equally naked woman. She would from there proceed on her journey of exploring being uninhibited. It wouldn't have happened without someone challenging her on her "hiding."
Choosing to not cover up, even when it feels a little uncomfortable, contributes to a healthy nudist culture/environment. If it just feels too uncomfortable, it might be time to stop, take a break, and consider why (which is probably my most unpopular opinion.)

From there, exploring being uninhibited can lead down different paths. Some might be more sensual. I've brought up my (current wife), who discovered the simple pleasure of being shaved and laying out naked in the sun in a relaxed position. The reason she felt it appropriate was in great part because we frequented "all nude" venues. I have noticed a difference in "behavior" at venues where covering is very much limited. With no covering readily available, people tend to eventually relax in their nudity and shed their inhibitions. At my resort, it is not uncommon to see women tanning open-legged, doing Yoga or just being confident in being seen completely naked. That was enough for my wife to get comfortable with being more "openly nude" socially. Because it's normalized there. So she is fully participating in keeping nudism uninhibited; and inspiring other women to do the same.

And because of all this, my wife, as I'm sure many other women at the resort, recognize that there is a spectrum to the nudist experience. Some people are going to be more uninhibited than others. We have chatted with swingers, she has seen the occasional erection - and thought nothing of it, she has been seen fully exposed and has seen others even more exposed than her. She probably would have not gotten there without being in an uninhibited - but also respectful - nude environment.

Anyway, just my thoughts.

 

Thank you Nudony.
A few thoughts on un-popular, and reflections on un-inhibition.
My wife doesn't travel well due to health/medical reasons, so we haven't visited a "nude" beach yet. She knows that I will "participate", and her level of participation will depend on a variety of of physical and emotional parameters that need not be elucidated here. The point to take away is that completely opposite of my admittedly prudish first wife, she embraces my nudism and that of others as a wholesome and natural expression of being uninhibited in a healthy way. Repeat: uninhibited is healthy!

So here's a bold thought, just mentioned by Nudony in passing: Internet forums are NOT statistically representative, and attract a "vocal" minority who have to complain and disagree.
There- I said it. My experiences from early childhood in the 50's up through the present indicate many non- nudists in fact envy the confidence of nudists like us, and most participants in "social" nudism accept the variations and nuances that inevitably occur.
In other words maybe more folks are like us than we realize. And my non-prude wife is just the most recent example of "conservative" women who are completely accepting, and even appreciative, of the full range of "configurations" of good-looking nude men. Go figure....

 

I have been a "home nudist" for over 20 years. I have some family members that haven't taken to it naturally.

My initial thought is, "If they aren't interested, that's their choice."

But, part of me thinks that if I encouraged them just a bit to push their boundaries, they would open up.

Any thoughts?

 

Being ignored sucks! So here goes...

People are just "wired" differently. My answer to the "when did you..." question(s) is that I was never not a nudist. My earliest childhood memories include enjoying bath time. And nudity around the house was accepted for my brother and me. Mom passed before I thought to ask if it would have been different with some sisters around.

I have a good friend who is completely understanding of my enjoyment of nudity, but has zero interest in practicing it herself. Even though she lives alone out in the country and could spend the entire summer nude around the house and in much of her yard. It's just not her "thing".

So I think you get the point- a little encouragement might "work", but only if the latent desire is there. Otherwise you're just re-inventing the horse to water cliche.

So, I didn't solve your dilemma. But you deserved a response.
I take it that you are at least allowed to be yourself. That's worth something.

 

I'm sorry if you feel that your post was ignored. You are very through and detailed in your post and there is a lot to unpack.

You are very lucky to have been raised in such a positive atmosphere. I wish my family was more open. Was your mother a nudist?

I do find that an interesting conundrum when you have a mixture of boys and girls (especially of differing ages). That can really complicate things. Would you have been shy around a sister? Would her age have mattered?

I get your point about the "latent desire." I don't think that it's there and won't push it farther.

I'm NOT allowed to live the way I want. My wife knew I was a nudist when we met. I would be nude when she would be at my apartment. She didn't express any concerns, but didn't join in. I never pushed or expected her to join. About a year into our marriage, she confessed that she hated when I was nude. So, now I wear boxers around the house.

 

I didn't think I was ignored. I meant that YOUR post should get a response. But thanks anyway.

No, parents weren't nudists in any sense. But that misses the point. Nudity was just a part of life in the "proper" situations - young boys at the Midwestern lake "beach", running through the sprinkler on a hot summer day, sleeping in a house without air conditioning. Nudity in fine art was par for the course, as in a coffee table book about Michaelangelo. In other words they weren't prudes. And by my 20's they took my all-over tan in stride.

I'm sorry for your situation. If you can't be YOU, .... Guess I stop there, complete stranger that I am!

 

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

I was raised in the prudish South. It sounds like the Mid West would have been great.

We all need to just drop the facade and be more real and human.