Hi everyone! I am new to the forum. I was looking for advice from people who can relate and ran across this forum =) I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 6 months now and I know, without a doubt, that this girl is everything I want and more. The problem is, she isn't over her ex and while I don't doubt her feelings for me, I often wonder if I'm her rebound and she just hasn't realized it. She was with her ex gf for 3 years and today would have been their 4 year dating anniversary and it has really been bothering her. She's cried some today, been moody and just overall distant. I am ok and completely understand that she is still going through the grieving process but I can't help to be somewhat scared that I may lose her when she realizes that I'm a rebound. She has been separated from her ex for 8 months now, which she said she calculated last night when she couldn't sleep because she was upset about what today is. I very openly talk to her about her feelings for her ex and I hold her while she cries or when she thinks about her but honestly, sometimes it hurts and I just want her to be over her ex. Anyways, my question is... How long is it ok for her to be like this everytime she thinks about her ex before I should start worrying about it? I'm ready to settle down and propose to this girl within the next year because I have NO doubts about my feelings for her but I wouldn't even think about doing that until I am 150% sure that she doesn't have feelings for her ex anymore. I also don't want to rush her through the grieving process or make her feel like she has to hide her feelings. Also, I don't know what I should for her in the meantime? Do I keep holding her as she cries over this chick who doesn't deserve even half a second of my gfs thoughts? Do I distance myself and give her time to grieve? She has gotten a lot better since we started dating and doesn't think about the ex as much but it scares me that she is still this upset about her 6 months into our relationship... Thank you so much in advance for any advice =)
Im gonna be honest I've never had anyone cry about their ex, maybe bitch about them but I def wouldnt be giving them any sympathy that their heart is broken dam Im not trying to sound cold im just saying the person either moves on and is with you or she needs to get herself together on her own and you two split up
I don't want to be harsh but I don't think she's in love with you if her last relationship still affects her like that :/ it's clearly obvious that she hasn't moved on yet. She needs to get over it first in order to give herself completely to you if she has any feelings for you. So I think you should give her some time
I think its pretty clear that she's still in love with her ex and you're helping her pass the time. You probably help her avoid loneliness, but at the end of the day she truly misses her ex and is mourning the loss of the relationship. If I'm ever compelled to cry over someone, it's usually because they mean a great deal to me. I can't understand why wouldn't confront her about this. Or have you?
