Not able to cum when playing with another couple

My wife and I are a senior couple and we enjoy having other couples in our bed to swap and play.
I can last a very long time and lately I can’t cum at all when having sex with the other women. Has this happen too anyone else.? Any advice?

 

Follow up: I can always cum with my wife and she is used to extended intercourse with me. You are correct, I do seem to loose “some” rigidity with a new woman. There may be some stamina issues as well.

 

One thing you need to do is not focus on that creating anxiety which will make the situation worse. Older males can only ejaculate once, perhaps twice in a day but one has to accept that at a senior age that can happen. Enjoy, rather, the nudity, the sex, the erotic atmosphere and enjoy that, focus on that. So don't focus on that missed ejaculation. Focus on the sex, the closeness.

 

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Yeah, it sounds mental: as in you’re maybe feeling anxious or just not into it for some other reason. Maybe you’re just at a stage now where the mental connection is more necessary to facilitate the physical one?

 

I tend to go with the ideas of Bocci and Forever. Especially with sex, activity of the body is a collection of multiple systems. With aging they may not all click into place on time as previously.

 

The mind is extremely powerful. With advanced age one has to enjoy the eroticism of touch. Sex does not have to vanish, it just transforms into other activities which can be extremely enjoyable. If the mind focuses on one thing that did not go right, (like ejaculation), and you let the mind lock onto that, ejaculation will be under lock and key for a while. The secret is to blow it off, and focus on other pathways.

 

It has already been said but I reiterate, anxiety can disrupt an extremely wonderful encounter. It's happened to me before and not only once. One would think that with all of the women I have been with I would be used to new pussy and cum at will. But there are times when I have just to much going on, too much that I'm allowing myself to stress over that I just can't get over the top.

Performance anxiety is real. I now tell myself I'm going to have fun, enjoy the journey, and fuck it if I don't ejaculate. I will have a beautiful woman eager to have sex with me and it's going to be fantastic. With that attitude I have been able to avert the PE issues and enjoy having a beautiful woman in my arms.

 

That is not actually a problem to me, don't want to get the girl pregnant. Maybe you're anxious or you put too much pressure on yourself to perform. Next time just enjoy the journey you may arrive.

 

Plumpkin, I am nearing 70 this year and to answer your question. Yes, I can still cum with my wife. We are sexually active with another couple as well. I don’t always cum with his wife, but I can always cum with my wife, if I want too. That said, My wife sometimes just needs a good pounding and doesn’t care if I cum. I explained to the other woman that I don’t always cum, and she is fine with it too! She gets a good banging and is satisfied. It helps to be fit and control my weight, but at my age it does become a stamina issue for me.

 

Plumpkin forgot diabetes, a powerful sex inhibitor.
Regarding Panama Jack, wonderful that you are sexually active with your wife AND another couple. People assume wrongly that sex stops at age 65...
Good health is important, but age is age, and ejaculation may not occur but actually, the pleasure us still there visually and physically.
I think with advancing age people may need an extra stimulus to continue and enjoy that sexual gift. Sharing sex with another couple (or more) can enhance greatly sexual health.

 

Edger, Agreed. Our relationship is based on love and respect for one another. Our sex life is based on our personal health and whatever it takes to keep it strong. That’s why we occasionally play with others. We always play together and stay together. We also practice “compersion” in our sex life as well as relationship.

 

Sexual activity doesn't stop at age 65 or any set age. But as the human body ages libido wanes. it wanes faster in women than men. Statistics about females and sex show that in those aged from 50 to 80 years find that more than half, or 57%, are no longer sexually active. Men do maintain a desire to have sex longer but still, as we age we also lose the desire to be sexually active.

This is not really true. All most people need is the basic stimulation that turns them on no matter their age. If there is something that excites the sex drive of a young person that same something will still do it as that person ages.

 

Not necessarily. Age is age even if one is healthy. Myself, learning edging in my mid-twenties has helped me as I aged. What you state is true in that what was a powerful stimulator when young can continue to do so as one ages like for me women's feet. But still, sometimes it takes longer to get that excitement up and another form of stimulation can help kick start excitement. Sharing with another couple is a powerful way to increase the excitement level.

 

When my wife stopped all sex and I got a FWB I was quite surprised that it took me a lot longer than I expected to release. With a blowjob or a skilled handjob, it wasn't too bad but anthing else took forever or we just stopped and moved to a different type of sex. Looking back, it was a combination of things. Drinking to get ready became the norm and the booze really didn't help my erection or release. I certainly did have performance anxiety. As exciting as it is to be with someone new it's also a little stressful. So it took me a few months before we got comfortable enough that I could ejaculate close to what I considered normal. This issue came back again when I got a new FWB and it was essentially the same pattern. She loved blowjobs and blowjobs are my favorite so getting off was pretty easy but when we did more, it was difficult again. With her, the only exception besides oral was mutual masturbation. We both enjoyed that and got off well many times. So now, I don't worry about it and it's all fun.