not a problem.......just a question

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by mariecstasy, May 14, 2004.

  1. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

    what is it that you are looking for in your mate? are there certain things? are there certain values they should hold? or will you just know it when you feel it?

    for those in a relationship.........what drew you to your mate?
     
  2. ForestNymphe

    ForestNymphe Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Interesting question. When I first met my husband Dan we worked at the same place and I completely ignored him for four months. I don't really know why, I found him attractive and intelligent. I suppose I wanted to watch him, having come out of a really nasty relationship that broke my heart to bits. One day he was stranded and my boss called to see if I could pick him up, which I did. That laid the groundwork to get to know each other. We share many common interests and became fast friends. I could trust him and I think that is what really drew me to him. Here was a guy I could hang out with, share ideas, be silly and know I could talk to him about anything. I fell in love with this gentle creative soul over time. Six years later we married. :) The intimacy of this relationship continues to awe me and I feel blessed to have him in my life. My best friend, my lover and creative partner all rolled into one.
     
  3. kier

    kier I R Baboon

    that is such a sweet sweet story!!! awww, i'm so pleased for you, you've already been kind to me without even knowing me! you deserve dan, and he deserves you, it sounds as if you were made for each other :)

    i look for;

    *openness/honesty
    *similar ideals (not to many arguments!)
    *gentleness (i am gentle, i really don't like arguments or harsh words)
    *kindness
    *something to be atracted to! (i mean...not just looks, i apreciate the beauty in most peoples looks, but their mind if you understand :p )

    and there has to be that certain something, you can never put your finger on it, it's just....there
     
  4. Xiola

    Xiola One Lonely Seagull

    That is all I really look for...that something:)
     
  5. HUNTA4LIFE

    HUNTA4LIFE Member

    For Me She Has To Be Feminine And Majestic,combined With Semi-sarcasim And Plenty Humor,not To Mention Sensual And Excepting Of Loves Tenderside,able To Give And Receive Kisses And Cuddles For No Apparent Reason Other Than Just Because.... But Most Importantly She Has To Be Secure In Her Womanhood And Self Ideals!
     
  6. phillyrp314

    phillyrp314 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    I think there has to be at least some common values held between two people. Other than that, it's pretty open. I try not to look for certain things in a person, but rather how that person handles themselves as a whole. I guess anyone comfortable with themselves more often than nought are the most attractive in my book.
     
  7. NightOwl1331

    NightOwl1331 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    You know...I'm going to have to edit this post of mine. This thread has prompted me to re-evaluate this subject. I'd made a list of all the things and I want in a mate, but I realized that what it really comes down to is what other people mentioned...that "certain something." The times when I have been head-over-heels crazy on top of the world in love it has never been a choice...its never been a situation where I found someone with the "right" qualities and then fell in love because of it. Love just seems to happen, sometimes with the most unlikely people. And that's what I'm looking for...that beautiful kind of love that just takes hold of you when you least expect it. :)
     
  8. dhs

    dhs Senior Member

    I'll give it crack here:

    Someone of high moral character and is conscious of their actions

    Someone with whom I can trust all thats with inside me

    Someone who will communicate with me, i.e. listen to me and understand my fears/insecurities and will react in an appropriate manner - I can be very critical of others and if there is one thing that I've learned is that there is a time and place for being critical - don't kick me when I'm down as I'd never do that to you

    Someone who will support my passions whether they think they are silly or not

    Someone who recognizes that as much as I want you to feel like a Queen, I want to be made felt like a King too

    Patience - I have a pretty good game to me, but not all the time, I have off days and so do you

    Someone who will open up to me in every way - let me see it all, doesn't hide anything from me, ie. let's me see the real you

    Someone who has passion for something, whether its something that interest me or not, I love passion and will be supportive of it

    Someone who recognizes that I'm a guy's guy at times and allows me that freedom- I do like to watch sports, play poker, get rowdy drunk on occasion etc.

    Someone who is maternal, I wish to have a family someday its my greatest dream and I will not stand to be with someone who doesn't make their child the number one priority

    Someone who has goals - loves where they're at, but truly wants to grow in life and not just go through the motions

    Someone who will make love to me, not just me making love to her - I want affirmation of my sexiness too

    Someone who is comfortable in silence with me - I love to talk for sure - but comfort in silence is a good thing

    Someone who is adventourous - I've lived in 10 different states, moved around, searched out things that I didn't think I'd have interest in and ultimately have had interest in. Let's go for a ride

    And ultimately, the 'IT' thing that is indescribeable but there, like people have listed here.

    Perhaps this seems like a lot, but I don't really think it is. I search for the ultimate in respect, you don't have to be like me and I don't plan on being like you, but if we support each others hearts and passions we will only learn through a wonderful and loving partnership.
     
  9. lanalou

    lanalou Member

    his ability to draw me into a world i always knew existed but was never really there
     
  10. I look for Christianity, loyalty, won't hurt me verbally or physically, won't talk bad about me, etc....
     

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