I’ve been seeing this girl for a few months now and I initially had some anxiety issues with her (I’ve made previous topics about) which I’ve managed to overcome and now we mostly have a great sex life together! However one issue that has remained throughout our relationship is my loss of erection during sex. I have no issues getting an erection but sometimes it either isn’t hard enough to have penetrative sex or I will lose it as I’m going inside her (even if she’s been properly worked up). I can always get it back pretty quickly but it’s always a bit of a mood killer. It usually happens when I meet any kind of resistance when I’m sliding inside her (not quite angling myself right) or when she’s on top of me in a certain position (usually when she stops moving). The latter happens even when I’m on viagra. I’ve been to the doctors and they have said physically I’m perfectly healthy and I’ve been seeing a counsellor who has told me that this is perfectly normal but I just wonder how common it is and how other people are dealing with it?
It sounds to me like you still have anxiety issues, to be honest I think you are doing it wrong! Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, by the sounds of it you are expecting it to be perfect every time, which it isn't, you may not realise you are doing it, but it is probably in your subconcious, basically stop trying, just go with the flow and things will get better. It is a bit like those people who want a baby and when they don't conceive straight away they start taking temperatures and working out ovulation days, the whole act then becomes a mission to get pregnant, enjoyment becomes secondary, and more often than not they still don't get pregnant. Take it easy, relax and stop worrying, an orgasm is like having a fancy cd player in your car, yes it's nice to have, but it isn't essential.
It sounds like a catch 22 situation where they are trying to please each other when they would both rather sit down and have a cup of tea.
Definitely anxiety issues are besetting the love making here. How old are you Sealy? Age as in senior years which has some to do with it. Viagra doesn't affect the mind, only the blood vessels to keep the cock erect. My erection sometimes comes and goes during sex. Especially if I am stressed with life events. I rarely use Viagra for masturbation but always with a partner. But after getting my cock into her pussy I have become flaccid. So I know to calm down, pull back, relax, and we move to another position. It isn't long I'm erect again and usually hold it all through the rest of our fuck session.
Your brain is getting into the wrong gear, it needs to be in sex drive and you only come out of it two hours later, that's so you enjoy the moment. Being a man you should just get in there and do the act of enjoyment, like we all do getting your women worked up should get you worked up as well, seems you are getting mind wonder that's why you lose your erection, it happen to all guys at some point, to quote something from Dinner Ladies TV program,( you need to bloody concentrate ) as guys will lose and erection as seen many times in porn films. Try staying calm and enjoy the moment.
Maybe something mental is going on to cause you to lose your erection during sex. Is she the only one you've experienced this with. Sometimes it's the partner- the passion and intensity might not be synched or on the same level between you two.
I discovered that getting my wife to talk about her desires, sex experiences with me or others, or anything like that helps me regain my erection if I start losing it. Fortunately, she is open to sharing her thoughts and past, so she knows what turns me on. Maybe you and your partner can find some similar keys to keep you going.
