I feel for ya, HappyHaha. Um, Noah's grandmother is engaged to a Jewish man, so that makes your son automatically Jewish? Crazy. I didn't know it worked like that! I think you should go to court and get legal custody established as soon as you can. If you don't, then say you let Noah visit with his father and grandparents, they don't have to give him back if no custody is established. THEY would have physical custody until the court decides it. How often has Noah seen his father since he was born? I don't see anyway you should have a problem getting full custody and giving the father visitation. Especially since he took off and left you alone. My oldest daughter was 8 months when her father and I split, and I still got full custody. He is suppossed to get every other weekend and Wednesday night for 2 hrs. but he moved to Pennsylvania and we live in SC. She sees him maybe once a month. I hope it all works out, sweetie. Oh, BTW, what part of Germany is your family from? My family is German, too. In fact, my mom is there right now for my cousin's wedding!
I think he needs more reality then just giving up his rights. Maybe some parenting classes and child development courses or seminars. I think you definately should have full custody but he shouls still be able to visit and stuff. I would be furious if someone blew smoke in my childs face at a party. I would have made a sceene at that party. I would have made him feel like scum.
Well, I do think that he should have the opportunity to know his son, but he already had it, and he split. He can't just come back whenever it's convenient for him. Everything else in his life goes just exactly like he wants it to because everyone lets it happen that way...he's a manipulative bastard. But I'm not going to give in again and be his bitch. He's irresponsible and unreliable, and he had plenty of time and lots of chances to be a Daddy, and he chose to go to Hawaii, drink himself stupid, and fuck Hawaiian prostitutes. That's not the kind of person I want my son to know as his father...
And I don't know if he could take any more reality, because one of the reasons he wanted me to have an abortion was, and I quote, "This is way too much reality for me, man....I've learned my lesson." Jackass. I hate him! Grr!!!
Happy, if he is doing drugs around the child, this is something a lawyer could defineatly use. Although I usually LOATHE drug tests, this is a situation where one may be put to good use. But you need to let your lawyer do the dirty work. HE should have known that taping conversations was not legal! Judges don't listen to mamas. They simply don't. Every divorce has some neglect and abuse allegations and if you want them heard, your lawyer has to present them. You need a lawyer and a legal advocate. If he is doing dope around the kid, you will probably have a good case. Don't mention the Jewish thing to your lawyer, I guarentee it will not go over well. This is a pretty good definition of a Toxic Person as well as someone with a probable personality disorder. BUT she has NO legal right to your child at all. NONE. If she is this crazy, keep your child away from her.