no strings attached...

yeah. some people at certain times can handle it but people are people and people can devolp feelings at any time... the best thing to do is just know how to read it and if someone has unexpected feelings you dont have, be nice, honest and stop sleeping with them cause it starts to hurt. it can happen to anyone... but not everyone every time. haha if that makes any sense.

 

as long as both, er or all 3, people go into it on the same page, then sure why not?

 

True, no i get what your tryin to say i think.
mmmmmm i guess if you know the person to begin with it happens.
haha youd have to fuck a total stranger

 

yeah this question should put into play whether its friends or strangers.
me personally ive fucked strangers.

i dont prefer it. i dont need LOVE LOVE and a relationship but to have something that actually ummm DOES something for me and is continued.. there has to be friend feelings and friend love at least.

but yeah whether its stranger relationship or friend... the rules can change.

 

well since you clearly know not to choose to add emotion to it, i see no reason for us not to totally do it now

 

hehehehe.
i was gonna make a donkey comment but yeah i have to stop my head from time to time.

peace guys.

 

haha i have one reason
Im 17 N its not legal

 

^when's your bday? haha said it for him.
kay im off to blaze. have fun til i get back
*turns off power button directly*

 

Lol a very very long time from now,
I'll post a thread just annocing it.
Have fun i wish i had pot

 

I can do the no strings attached thing. Mainly because I have a hard time developing feelings for people, but I enjoy sex.

but it's not really ideal in my opinion. I think sex is way better when you actually have feelings for the person...

 

ok... i'm gonna say that this thread got a little off topic. i know it's not my thread, but it was started based on a conversation between me and jrnyman. so i know what he meant by it.

we aren't asking if it's possible to have sex without feelings. neither of us wants that. we want sex with feelings and love and emotional connection. just without strings. is it possible to have a "fuck buddy" for lack of better term, who you care about, enjoy being with, but may or may not keep seeing over a period of time? can that happen without one or more parties becoming so involved they want commitment?

and lucky... as to your not very nice comments about people who like ground rules... i don't see it as having to be a controlling, untrusting thing. more like an agreement between BOTH (or multiple) parties, not just one person telling the other(s) that this is how we as a group of lovers wants to deal with these sensitive emotional situations. ideally, there would be no jealous or clingy people anywhere in the group, and everything would flow perfectly. but we happen to live in a culture and society in which people are not raised that way, and it's VERY difficult to step out of the cycles of jealousy and ownership that have come to be the determining factors of a "good relationship." if jrny and i (along with the rest of the world) were free of all these socialized stigmas, i'm sure we would be having sex with all kinds of people, and it would be flowing great, and no one would ever get hurt. however, things just aren't that way at this point in time... so why do you have to put down people who actually want to be careful of each other's feelings?

 

so you basically want a committed relationship that you're free to leave whenever you feel like it?

really, it sounds like you don't really know what you want. and i'm not just basing that on this post or this thread, but everything i've read you say on the subject up until now. is your current relationship really so bad that it can't work out if it's just you two? seems like you're desperate to do the trendy open relationship thing, but really don't like the reality of it.

and i can't speak for lucky, but i don't think she was trying to insult anyone, just offering an opinion on a question that was publicly posted...

 

It depends on what you mean by connection, like a friend?

Assuming so, it IS possible, and it can be great on so many levels, it's just not very likely to work out the way you hoped.

I've had a few 'relationships' where it at least seemed that way, but started to get too personal to keep it up or ended well, but came back rough. :toetap05:
I have had two where it's worked out and ended smoothly, no strings or comebacks.
At least to my knowledge, there aren't any romantic or hard feelings from them, we still get along and hang out and everything without it being awkward.

 

actually, i DO have a very SPECIFIC idea of what i want (and not just what i want, what WE as a couple have discussed and decided we want). i(we) just don't know if it's possible given the way that people currently tend to view relationships.

i don't give a shit if i do a trendy open relationship. our relationship is fantastic, just the way it is, and i could be VERY happy if it is never more than just the two of us. the reason we want an open relationship is because we feel connections all around us. people we can (and do) easily fall in love with, and would enjoy taking it to a sexual level. but everytime we start to follow that direction, the other person then begins to become jealous and manipulative. hence our questioning of whether or not this can actually work.

for a true and real life scenario. i had been talking to a woman for over a year, and had a very deep connection with her. she's bisexual, and married, but open with other women. the whole situation was well communicated between me and this woman, and me and jrnyman. as we were getting to the point of actually getting it together, she became very manipulative, and wanted me to be her "on call" girlfriend. she didn't say this, but i would go weeks without hearing from her, and then if some trauma was happening in her life and ALL her other friends/lovers were not around, then she would call me and ring my phone off the hook several times a day. i do not like being a convenience to anyone else, nor do i like people thinking they own me.

hence, this situation (among others) has gotten us as a couple to a point of re-evaluating what we desire out of an open relationship, whether we actually want an open relationship, or what exactly we DO want.

and rest assured i am not upset with lucky, i just don't take kindly to people posting opinions that call people "stupid" just because they disagree with them. there are other words you can use that are not degrading that way. everyone has a right to their own opinions, and i welcome people disagreeing with things, but why do we have to resort to namecalling? that's all i meant by that.

 

I don't know if it would be possible for me. if I found someone I connected with, was fond of, and had great sex with, I'm pretty sure I'd want strings.

 

prissbaby, do you mind me asking why? what is the value (for you) of having strings? what does that bring to the relationship that wouldn't be there otherwise?

i'm just asking, so i can understand a little more fully, since i think it has been established that i tend to be a bit on the abnormal side!

 

well i suspect that it can work in theory, but it just sounds like it's probably not for you guys. which is what led to the idea that you may not know what you want- you seem to know on some level that it just doesn't work for you, yet you seem to keep wanting it for no apparent reason (yes, i meet people all the time that i feel like i could have sex with, that's normal. doesn't mean i have to actually go through with it).

of course, i'm literally the worst person on earth to go to for relationship advice, so i encourage you to take any i may give with a grain of salt.

and yeah, i'm sure lucky's comment could have been worded better. but i really don't think it was supposed to be insulting, and i think that this forum in general could allow for much better discussions on all topics if people concentrate more on the ideas being put out there instead of assuming that everyone's always attacking each other.

 

I don't really know my reasoning. you are a lot older and probably more experienced than I am.. I'm just saying at 19, all I really do is randomly hook up with friends or go on corny dates with people, and I never really feel a "connection". I just have a good time and go home. so if I really did have strong feelings for someone and they had those feelings back, and we had good sex, I don't think I'd want/need anyone else.

I honestly think I'm the abnormal one lol.

maybe I just need to get out of this small town with these same people I've been hanging out with for 5 or more years....

maybe my answer will change with more life experience.

 

i agree. which is why i brought it up. whether it was meant that way or not, her comment FELT like an attack, and i wanted to mention it in as nice a way as possible. if i came across as retaliating, i'm sorry. maybe i should just let things slide when they hurt my feelings?

i'm not trying to piss anyone off or attack anyone, i'm just trying to discuss. and instead of discussing, it seems like everyone wants to tell me i'm stupid for the way i feel about certain situations, or tell me that i'm trying to push something that's not for me. if i was truly trying to push into an open relationship, i would have continued some of my friendships and ended up in sticky situations, and maybe ended my relationship with my best friend and lover/partner/soulmate jrnyman person. but i haven't done this, because i want to explore what COULD be. and to me, that includes discussing possibilities, with a wide variety of people.

 

i don't know if i would recommend just letting something go if it really hurts you; i just also think that a lot of times on here people let themselves get hurt by comments that weren't intended that way. or if they were intended that way, then most likely they are coming from someone you don't need to put much stock in anyway. i didn't think you were being excessively retaliatory, and if you were, it wasn't toward me so no apologies are necessary.

i would recommend maybe growing a slightly thicker skin if you are going to continue discussing controversial topics, as some people are going to attack you for your views if you do so. but also keep in mind that not every dissenting opinion is an attack, even if it isn't worded as sensitively as it could be