Please help, me an my wife is married for a year now. We are together for 12 years now. The first 2 years there was no sex just hand stimulation, it was all passionate and fulfilling when we started having sex and i still brought her to orgasm by hand or tongue sometimes 6 or 7 times a night. About 5 years ago she doesnt allow me to finger, caress or massage her vagina and tells me she doesnt like it anymore as well as oral stimulation. when we have sex she also doesnt climax an there also just 2 positions and thats missionary im on top and doggy. She also likes to keep a routine like every 3rd day after shower etc. She does often masturbate when im not at home and she does climax then i know be ause she told me so. Ive tried to talk to her about it and it ends up in an argument! What shoul i do? Is there something wrong?
Get used to your wife being a ridiculously non-sexual partner, or divorce her. She doesn't want to talk, cos she's a lousy partner who won't communicate.
We love each other very much, dont wanna go that way! Maybe its psicologial or something because it wasnt always that way? Dont wanna end up looking for good passion anywhere else! Do womal like sex without the orgasm because she say its not imprtant to her because she enjoys it the way it is?
Yeh, psychological... a psychological decision that she doesn't enjoy you making her orgasm, and she much prefers doing it herself. If orgasms aren't important to her, why does she keep making herself climax by masturbating when you're not home? If she won't talk about it with you, she doesn't care to resolve the issue. You need to either get used to the idea of you not being happy with your sex life, or let her know she can't just do whatever the fuck she wants and then avoid any communication trying to resolve it.
There's no hope if she won't communicate with you. If she still refuses, take her to couple's counseling. Better that than a divorce I suppose.
Shes currently on convulex for epilepsy also merrel birth control, maybe thats got something to do with it?
What the hell do they have to do with her enjoying orgasms caused by you? If they had any effect, she'd probably not have orgasms at all, but she is. Stop trying to make excuses for her.
My point exactly! How big deal os orgasms for woman, do they enjoy sex without it because she says its not such a big deal she still enjoys sex! Is it just my ego taking the punch or do we need help? The old saying no sex before marriage is wrong but how do you know ghos stuff before marriage?
Yeh, sex is still enjoyable for women even if they don't orgasm. But the fact that you once did it all the time, and she's now turned around and said 'stop doing it to me, i don't want you to make me orgasm' is a bit fucked up. The old saying is a relic of a bygone age that is well known for sexual suppression of women, and other fucked up shit.
Sorry to hear that your wife is being that way with you... If this change in her behaviour towards you happened around the same time she started her meds, I wouldn't completely rule them out as a factor just yet. Obviously they aren't ruining her physiological ability to orgasm with you because she's capable of getting herself off without you, but maybe they're having an effect on her emotionally. Other than the lack of libido, how is she with you? Is she affectionate outside of the bedroom? I'm inclined to think there is something a bit deeper than just sex going on here (there's your generic womans opinion for you!), but it's hard to say without knowing more. Oh, and yes, sex can be enjoyable without the orgasm. I can make myself orgasm with more consistency than anyone else can, so if sex was just about coming then why would I even bother?! Sounds like your biggest problem here is communication. If you've been together with someone for 12 years and you still can't talk to them openly... well, good luck to you man.
To most guys, that just sounds like, my vibrator does a far better job, why should I bother with guys
It's a real shame if that's how guys see it. I can kind of understand why someone would feel outdone (for lack of a better word) by a vibrator because there is no way in hell you can replicate that sensation with what god gave you but, and I doubt I'm alone in this, mostly I just get myself off with my hand and no penetration so you'd think a guy would have the edge. Sex is different to masturbation so I have different expectations for it - it's getting up close and sweaty with someone, it's primal grunting and moaning, it's far more intense than rubbing furiously away in isolation! Would you rather jerk off or be with a real person?
