So recently April2 my cousin that was like a sister to me was killed by a drunk driver. It was really bad, luckily she died instantly, no suffering. I had dreamt several weeks before about her covered in blood etc. Now i'm having nightmares searching for her. I can't sleep well at all! This goes on for like weeks and comes back. HELP PLEASE I'm hurting and trying to heal.
Oh I'm sorry that happened. Just be grateful she didn't suffer; it sounds sick but the reason that she didn't suffer was good. It was quick and painless. Who can explain why good people die? These things don't make a lot of sense. I think a part of you refuses to admit that she's died which would explain why you're looking for her. You're looking despite knowing she's dead which would be a signal that a part of you, whether you know it or not, refuses to believe that she's died. It'll get easier, trust me. The pain is always there, but you learn to cope with it more. Just remember, you're not doing her justice thinking about how she died, think about how she lived, the good times you had, the laughter, the joy, the parties and it gets easier. And DO NOT avoid things that remind you of her, it makes coping much much harder. And regardless of what you might hear, crying when you think about her is great; it's purifying. Sooner of later, the crying becomes less.