Nice guys.

I saw something on a "friend's" fb, that said something to the effect of, "Women don't hate nice guys. Women don't like assholes. It's just that if your only descriptor is 'nice,' you're boring. Women like interesting guys, funny guys, considerate guys, thoughtful guys etc. Also if you call yourself a 'nice guy' you may just be an asshole."

It kind of hit home. When you get to know me, I guess I can be funny and interesting, but no one ever wants to get to know me. So I'm just "nice." And I seem boring. But I'm sure I also seem nice. I mean in person. I never flirt or anything like that. I barely talk to anyone. I just be polite.

So I'm sure to everyone I am just this "nice guy" who has nothing else to offer. No girl is ever interested in me. They like the funny outgoing guys. So the fb post kind of hurt my feelings.

 

Come on man, it's Facebook. Facebook is filled with trash that just gets you down, posted by people that are already down trying to rise by bringing you down. Don't fall for it.

 

Yeah I know. I just hadn't seen it put that way before. It was at least more honest, even if I am on the receiving end somewhat.

It also said that nice was the bare minimum a person could offer. I just know nobody sees me as having anything to offer. But I'm not down about it. I've grown kind of accustomed to just being alone.

I also kind of doubt that there is such a thing as just a "nice" person. Because I bet if anyone ever gave me a chance, I could soar. I'm not going to go pointing my finger at any other so-called "boring" guys, therefore.

 

You arent on the receiving end of it though, that post doesnt describe you. At least the way I'm interpreting it.

There are guys out there who have this expectation that women owe them something simply because they're nice. I think the post is referring to that kind of guy, guys who arent really genuine, who are fake nice because they think it will get them something they want. So it sounds more like its describing disingenuous guys moreso than shy or quiet guys

 

Yeah, come to think of it, it did say something like that at the end. About nobody owing you sex.

I still can't help but feel like I'm seen as nothing more than a nice person, though. But that's neither here nor there.

I'm pretty proud of myself for not being one of those disingenuous guys, though. Oh, I went through my frustrated phase, but that is over, thank God.

 

Not posting in relation to you if you don't feel it applies. It was just something I struggled with in the past.

My failures to develop more meaningful relationships were deeply tied to my own fears of being hurt, which caused me to push people away in any number of ways.

I was very lonely, despite the fact that I was the one not engaging. Realizing that cultivating relationships takes work I was avoiding helped me a lot.

I hope you find what you're looking for Neon.

 

truth is that humans are boring and make themselves more so by hating logic and imagination.
which is optional. also the root of dissapointment is expectation.

we have a culture that tells us we're doing it wrong by trying to tell us what to pretend.
its the hatred of logic and imagination that is the actual doing it wrong.

mind altering substances can never take their place, even if you kill yourself with them.

the real alternative isn't in what you believe, though it is in your head,
in the sense of how you look at things.

you can choose what you notice most about what is around you,
even when you have very little choice over what is there,
you can still choose what to notice more among what is.

things that your mind likes, things that makes you smile.
and it doesn't matter whether they're simple or complex,
that's just individual taste as to which to prefer of those.

you don't have preferences? then start making them.
but don't make them deliberately impossible.

walking in beauty means seeing the cat in the shadows,
even if the shadows are a trash heap.

seeing the plants growing in, over and inspite of it.

 

I'm a nice guy too.....for at least 3 times a week.

I don't have anything to offer either. Only darkness.

 

In A World Where We Are Constantly Assaulted By "Bright Lights".......Some "Darkness" Can Bring

Inner Peace.....



Cheers Glen.

 

Being nice is a good character attribute. But it won’t make you unique to the rest of the world, because it is a basic expectation of society. You cannot move up in society, or find yourself friends and a soulmate by being nice alone.

 

"Nice" is pretty boring. Like, if you are just a perfectly nice man, then no, you won't be a ladies magnet. I think most women would prefer a man who is nice to one who is fundamentally not nice. But I would agree with others that nice is just a fundamental expectation of society, and there has to be more to the picture than just nice.

Imagine it's your funeral, and all that everyone has to say about you is that you were nice.

 

I don't really have interests like other people do, either. I never get too excited about any subject. I'm just boring and nice. That's all anybody sees. Not that I really care. I'm all right being all on my lonesome.

 

Neon , the best thing you or any person can do is delete your account on Fakebook .

Secondly, my experience has been that being nice will get you nothing in our " F-You " society .

As far as women go they aren't usually attracted to nice however once they hook up with someone they want nice treatment. There's the conundrum for them, most men women are attracted to aren't nice accordingly they won't be nice within the framework of deeper relationships.

 

Methinks I too suffer from this syndrome in the real world. Must be why I never get dates.

 

Meh. I sometimes felt like that too. But it may merely be your close surroundings? Like, many people (including me) love Starfighter assault Although... i do tend to get excited about such interests. But yeah, when almost no one else seems to care or share the interest you just SEEM boring.

You mention certain stuff a lot though. Maybe on a subconscious level you do care to at least some extent.
I'm also very all right on my lonesome a majority of the time, but definitely not all of the time.

 

The 'nice' syndrome? Nope, you're not! :-D

 

.

 

i just wish i was an albatross. spend six months flying around by myself then meet up with my lifetime mate and talk about all the waves i'd seen.
no worry about interests and hobbies and making conversation and being interesting. just bird-cuddles and dancing and flying.

 

Omg that's funny! You missed out you can be sick in your guys face, him in yours, and you will love it and have his babies...lmao... shut up head your breaking down...fast

 

romance at its finest