Hi all, new to this forum and I’ve got some issues I’ve been trying to sort out for some time. Here goes, me and my missus have been together around 5 years. We are both 33 years old and have known each other since we were around 12. We got together after I broke up with my previous partner of 10 years. I have 2 kids to my previous partner too. So the issue kinda started within a few months of us being together. Sex was pretty basic put it that way. I didn’t push for it nor did I do anything to risky as I knew she wasn’t very ‘knowledgeable’ in that area. Now we are incredibly open and we talk about everything no matter what. Since I brought up the sex issue (lack of it and lack of excitement) we have tried to make things better. But I feel as if I do all the work and she doesn’t do anything??? It’s really strange. I ask her if she would like to try anything new and the response is ‘I don’t know anything?’ So we have looked about at things and she’s not really interested in anything? I’ve bought £1000’s worth of toys, lingerie and organised days but virtually non of it is used and majority of the time sex doesn’t happen. I’m a very open guy and I’m into a lot of kinky stuff but she isn’t. She knows how I am and doesn’t have a problem with it. It’s just really hard went so many things are off limits. If it’s not for her pleasure then it just doesn’t happen if it happens at all. So absolutely no oral or anal. Not really much touching from her as she is a bit germaphobic. Kissing is no tongues and only really on the lips. Will not sext or even talk dirty. On average we might have sex once a month or possibly twice. And it’s always me instigating it. now I love her to the ends of the earth and in every other aspect of life is great. Just she isn’t really interested or maybe it’s that what she’s interested in is so vanilla is almost tasteless. Just don’t know what to do, I’ve tried and thought we maybe getting somewhere but just never changes. I don’t want to go looking elsewhere but honestly I’m really struggling
You've been together for 5 years and nothing has changed. It is obvious its not going to. Are you willing to live with the status quo or move on?
Been there & done that. Lived it for years. When you're the only one initiating sex, it makes you feel like you're a chore …… a pain in her ass. Unwanted, undesirable & unloved. If you don't have a passion for knitting baby booties, no amount of her coaxing and pleading with you is going to develop your appetite for knitting baby booties. Is that analogy clear enough??
