I am extremely curious to see if anyone has had any experiences similar to this one. Before I begin I should start by saying I've tripped so far only 3 times and all of them were bad trips. As horrible as that sounds, I still find it very interesting to understand how my brain works during these bad trips and it is oddly fascinating and somewhat therapeutic for me to read other people's similar stories. So if you have one, please explain in detail your trip and what you were thinking/what happened to you/what you saw etc. So anyway I did acid for the first time about a month ago. It all started out great, got a shitload of energy outta no where and was enjoying myself and then all of a sudden the REAL high snuck up on me. Moments before it happened I was sitting in the bathroom doing herb with some friends. Ironically, they were telling me that the smoking would help to prevent the acid high from sneaking up on you. Didn't work. I just remember at one point everything was all good, I was looking at them both and then all of a sudden, I entered a different plane of existence from the one they were in and I started getting EXTREMELY aware of my consciousness. The transition was too harsh and sudden for me. It was like they were in a television screen and I was now the only one that really existed. Just me and my thoughts. As time went on I started experiencing an nightmarish case of solipsism where I believed I was the only person in the universe who has ever really existed since the beginning of time. Everyone else in the past present and future was only ever background characters to the story of my life and when I die, everything in the universe will cease to exist. So though I was physically sitting in the company of my friends,in that moment I was as lonely as if I'd never met another person in my life and never would. REALLY fucking creepy shit that was. There is a lot more to that introspection phase of my trip but I'll save on all those details and cut to the chase. Not sure how similar this is for anyone else whose tripped before but the things that I notice that get separated and confused are TIME, LOCATION, THOUGHTS, and MEMORIES. Allow me to impose upon you how fucked up I was. Imagine for a second that you are in a house. It has a living room, a bedroom and a bathroom. Since you know you are a little disoriented because you are tripping, it takes you a little more effort than it usually would to understand your surroundings and know where you are. You are so messed up you don't even know if you are saying your thoughts out loud or just thinking them. So you focus really hard to understand where you are in that moment and finally realize that you are in the living room quietly thinking about figuring out where you are. Only you are not. In reality you are actually in the bathroom smoking with your two friends who are now staring at you asking "Why do you keep saying you are in the living room quietly thinking about figuring out where you are?".You suddenly realize the mistake you made and now you get paranoid because they can read your mind. They then ask you "What do you mean you're getting paranoid because we can read your mind? Are you alright man? lol". Now you're really freaking out because it dawns on you that they aren't reading your mind. It's just that whatever you think is also what is coming out of your mouth, so you better not start thinking about confidential things. Like how the female friend sitting in front of you has many atimes secretly been the subject of your nightly fap sessions. This time neither of them utter a word to you. They simply exchange quick awkward glances and a moment later the female gets up and says "I think maybe I should go." And the other friend "...yeah. Might be best." Goddam acid. -__- Anyone have any tips on how to better enjoy the trip?
I think sometimes herbs can intensify the experience with some people. I find it fascinating that you were that conscious in your actions though. Remembering what was happening, what was said... IF it was said lol. It can do that too, kind of a half-telepathic communication type thing. People will be mumbling and others won't be able to hear them, but friends that they chose to share the experience with can fully understand exactly what they're attempting to say and/or what they're thinking about. It can also be extremely intense in the beginning stages of a mind altering experience. The process of your body/mind rejecting a foreign substance that it's never seen before and doesn't exactly belong where it's going. Also, all the thoughts that it provokes is quite strange and sometimes difficult to handle. I've also noticed that experiencing this with a female always seems strange and at some point (they had other things going on in life and whatnot as well at the time) they ended up breaking from the group. There are certain relationship ties that seem like pieces of a puzzle that just don't fit right. If it's a couple that's been together for quite some time, it's usually fine, though they end up breaking from the group and doing their own thing and exploring different terrain. I've found that it's best with 2 or 3 people. It's also handy to have one person to be a guide and only take a small amount to keep others 'grounded.' Of course, everyone has their own methods. Some people like to stay just 3 feet off the ground and others like to go 20,000 lightyears past Alpha Centurai I'm not sure exactly what you were going through, but it doesn't sound like you had an awful experience. Things just got a little strange and perhaps some things were revealed (or seemed to be revealed) that were personal and were meant to stay behind a door that was unintentionally opened. It's also good to make a pact beforehand lol telling each other that whatever happens shouldn't be that serious... of course that tends to backfire anyways because it usually amounts to very deep exploration of one's self and/or others' mindsets. If anything, I'd just casually apologize if you feel you need to. Clear a few things up and sweep it under the rug lol. Some things just happen that make people feel uncomfortable for whatever reason and some people (usually new to that state of mind) can't handle that kind of feeling, so they break away and try to find a way to free themselves of that feeling.
from your description it sounds like an ego death or close to it. it also sounds a bit like what you may have had may have not been lsd, though no one will be able to tell what you had for sure. the experience actually seems a bit more like a dissociative drug experience or what a schizophrenic state of mind might be like from what ive bits ive read on the psychology of that disease without having actually experienced it myself.
Yeah the trip was a lot worse than I let on but I didn't want to get into that much detail since I wouldn't figure anyone'd want to read about that part of it lol. Also my memory actually isn't as full as it may have seemed haha. There are definitely gaps in what I recall but I basically filled in the gaps so that the story would make more sense.That embarrassing event in the end with the girl did happen but I don't remember EXACTLY what was said beforehand. I just remember that disoriented feeling of location and time and struggling to place myself. Very scary. I get really paranoid around people when I'm tripping because I'm very afraid to say something aloud that may embarrass me. I've had a similar thing happen everytime I trip. The main thing is that I have a few memories in my past that I am extremely not fond of that I don't want getting out. And the stronger the trip, the more I feel that control over what I say aloud slipping away more and more, I start panicking and then when everyone is asking me why I'm freaking out, in response, I blurt out something that was better off unspoken. Probably very unusual sounding, eh? I'm no expert. The thing that ultimately scares me the most about a bad trip is the solipsism. That point where I feel like I am God because I have attained this weird level of unfathomable consciousness and now exist on a tier or plane of existence where I am no longer reachable by anyone else. So it's that sensation where I feel like everything I look at around me, including my friends, are in a television screen and I am on the outside of everything. I am the one in the "real" world. But in that real world there is nothing but me because even my surroundings end up in that tv. It's an extremely lonely place that I always end up in every single time I trip and I hate it. -__- Not to mention my brain is looping the entire effing time. If I never got sober, that looping is imo a fate worse than death. I will say though that the few moments where I am able to control the trip, it's the best thing ever. I thought of having sex with this one really hot chick from my job and I swear it almost felt better than real sex lol. Everything you think becomes extremely real. So that part's great I guess.
Yup certainly ego death I think. At least from what I understand about the concept of ego deaths. Won't go into detail on this but I'm pretty certain what I had was legit lsd if only because I was with a person who took it with us and who would definitely know from experience if a batch was legit. I think perhaps my description was a bit weird because of my foggy recollection overall but very specific memory of random stuff from the trip. Partially because when the bad trip begins I really focus in on what exactly I am thinking so I can bring a memory of what happened back with me when I'm sober again to avoid the bad trip. I will be the first to admit that it's kind of a shitty plan because it sorta plunges me even deeper into that state of hyper self consciousness and loop torture.
Maybe there's something on your mind that wants out? It always helps when you're with people you feel completely comfortable with as well. I don't mind reading about a bad experience, it's all up to you what you're willing to share. I know some things get rather personal. You shouldn't be afraid to share with others during the experience either. I feel like that's a part of the release people get, bonding and whatnot. Of course there are certain boundaries, but the whole 'oh man... did I say that out loud?' is a funny thing. Sometimes you can just laugh it off and sometimes it tends to be more serious in a given situation. You may even want to try something more natural if the intensity of the experience makes you feel uncomfortable. Though, I guess certain aspects aren't exactly 'meant' to be comfortable. Strange sometimes how events transpire lol. idk man, sometimes the answers you may be looking for, you can only find within. Listen to your body and your mind, they'll tell you It's a lot better to be outside enjoying/examining nature too so you don't feel so boxed in. The 'inside a tv screen' feeling isn't uncommon I don't think, but the extreme loneliness seems a bit strange. Being that intense of a lonely feeling anyways.
That said I can kind of relate with things becoming 'seperated' or how I experience it is like this rapid cognitive cycle of events seeming increasingly syncrhonous one minute, to becoming extremely disjointed the next. I find with LSD that at times the pace of the trip is such a barrage on the senses that there is not much you can do to change the momentary mental state, however generally speaking with psychedelics, changing the music, the room, drinking water, going outside, or minor adjustments in setting Can produce significant changes in the direction of your trip.
^ All of that even the part that has you quoted, was my response to this part of your original post. Sorry, post from my phone often and it seems to have a mind of it's own at times.
The effects of LSD and cannabis depend on where the two intervene. On a come-up, marijuana will escalate the effects of LSD to an "uncomfortable degree" as you have experienced. It can somewhat hinder the peak a bit from being as 'mystical' - some report But on the comedown, is where it may be best to spark up, as it will relight some of the effects of colour and other sensory input. You said that you've tried acid a few times now, and started a month ago. Slow it down man, psychs aren't like other drugs. I suggest reading a bit of material if you're interested in trying it again. The acid tests, Timothy Leary's Psychedelic Experience http://psychedelicfrontier.com/free-book-psychedelic-experience-timothy-leary/
Yup I think you hit the nail on the head for sure. I don't think it'd be fair of me to put out that much detail and then skimp on the juicy personal deets I guess. So anyway had a few *ahem* same-sex experiences many years ago. I was very young, (like 12-15) and very hot blooded. Did some things for awhile with a person I really shouldn't have been (won't go into anymore detail than that here). I wouldn't consider myself a gay or even bisexual person. Though I will admit at the time I enjoyed myself. On rare occasions I'll even end up watching gay porn. Which is extremely weird sounding for a self-proclaimed straight person to do. However, outside of the slight weird feeling I get every time I do something out of the ordinary, I'm not inwardly insecure about my sexuality. I am not in the closet or anything like that. I know for all intents and purposes I am straight, however I would NEVER tell anyone irl what I just said here. I just couldn't deal with that. So I guess I am in the closet about those experiences? Even though most of my close friends are a crowd of people who wouldn't seriously judge me (outside of making some jokes here or there) I just decided it's something of a personal life regret that I'm taking to the grave with me. And yeah I do consider that saga in my life a regret. I may have some serious meditating to do on it, because I realized though many years have passed, I have still not made peace with myself over it. Maybe there will come a day where I can tell someone but I am nowhere near that stage atm. But I digress. I have come close to blurting that out almost everytime I have tripped. Because you know that feeling you get while you're tripping where you focus on one thing and then you feel like that thing is your mission in life? For me, whenever I trip I put my mind in a place where my sole mission is to prevent revealing my gay experience and so because I am entering my trip trying to force my mind to NOT do something, I end up fighting with the drug and throwing myself into a bad trip. At least I think that's how it's happening. Idk...still a novice lol
I'll definitely check out that article because I think you're right. Also apologies for the lack of clarity here. I've actually only done acid one time. The 3 times I tripped were on different things each. 1st time was shrooms, 2nd was a ridiculously strong pot brownie, and most recent time was the acid. I've had the exact same type of trip with every one of them. Which is something I didn't expect. I was REALLY freaking out with the brownie because I had already had my first bad trip with the shrooms a week or so earlier. So when I did the brownie and the trip started to look exactly like the shroom trip, I almost lost it. Was super pissed at my bud for not warning me in advance. Actually started to think it might've been laced with something. Of course it wasn't but since I am also very knew to even smoking bud, I thought the brownie would simply be a slightly stronger version of that floating sensation. But it was my fault for not doing research. So ironically I ended up tripping harder on the brownie than I did on the 2 grams of shrooms. At some point during the brownie trip, I seriously thought I died. A bit of a funny/unfortunate thing happened during that time actually. With how fucked up I ended up, I thank god that I only ate 3/4 of that brownie. The rest ended up on the floor and my pal's dog got to it. The little guy started freaking the fuck out. Laid out on his back and made motions with his legs like he was trying to climb something the whole night. It was really weird to watch so I was tripping balls at the time. I started having a panic attack wondering if I'd just killed my friend's dog, since on top of the strong bud in the treat, it was also chocolate. I've heard once that chocolate can kill dogs. At the time I'd have felt horrible if I wasn't so fucked up. Dog is perfectly fine now though haha. Hope he enjoyed the ride at some point.
Aw man yeah for sure! I snuck out of the room a few times when the looping got unbearable and it was much better to be outside. I really can't handle that boxed in feeling with the repetitive audio and visuals. And I really don't like to be around people while the bad trip starts to set in. One time I even almost got into my car and tried to drive home but I was coherent enough to stop myself from doing something that stupid. I think I should start looking into a change of atmosphere though for sure. I think it'd help a lot.
I think you just answered you question as to why you've been having bad trips I commend you for sharing that experience as well. I know things like that can be hard to share and very difficult subjects to address. Exploring those types of things aren't something to be ashamed of. I think you should find someone you could share those experiences with, just to talk about them and relieve some confusion you might have about them. I've been through some of the same things (relatively speaking), though mine were a bit more traumatic and I have yet to find someone to talk about them with. It is a very delicate sort of conversation piece and the smallest amount of judgment seems like it could be detrimental to... self-image I guess I should say? Making that a goal though, to try and keep those things hidden sort of emphasizes upon that very thing though. I feel like it would make it harder or perhaps more likely for those things to end up being revealed unintentionally by meditating on that before an experience. It might be better to adjust that goal some. Say, make it part of your thought process, but try not to completely focus on it. Maybe make it a goal to explore certain areas or areas separate from that in life that you feel like you need to work on. I'm glad your friend's dog is okay!! Chocolate affects dogs in different ways. Some can't handle it at all, but some eat it and are fine. I think it has to do with kidney function or that their bodies just can't digest or process it in a certain way. I had a dog that ate almost an entire tray of Oreos once and was fine. Really gets you worrying though. Also, edibles, depending on how strong they are can produce extremely strong effects. I've heard a lot of people refer to it as 'the screams.' You'll get to freaking out and then start hearing people shouting and yelling outside. Confusion is a big thing. There's a classic 911 recording of an off-duty police officer and his wife that ate a bunch of pot brownies. They called 911 and claimed they thought they were dying lol. It's pretty easy to find on Youtube. Classic real comedy... though I'm sure it wasn't funny to them while it was happening Another thing I might add is that herb can sometimes be more intense a few weeks to months after an experience. A few days afterwards it can even bring some of the effects back for a short time. Of course they wouldn't be nearly as profound. I'd also like to reiterate what Cat said, that these are not 'party drugs.' Here's a nice documentary to watch... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbCXDmOPuL8
i think we're dead. and about the OP. you just need to quit worrying so much about blurting out about your gay experiences. you are thinking about it and focusing on it too much, and then you can't stop when you are tripping. i think it would probably help to get that off your chest to someone if you can. or maybe even telling us on here is therapeutic in some way. i find it interesting that you become loose with your words when tripping. i don't recall psychedelics ever giving me that effect.
It's clear to me that too much LSD is to blame. That and mixing LSD with Marijuana tends to send people into an orbital sort of super-trip that's really difficult to control. I've had that happen before where I had to bail on my friends just to go home and sit in my room waiting until I came down. This sort of tripping is a bad thing and shouldn't be taken lightly if you ask me. I think it should be avoided at all costs. So don't mix those two.
if you take LSD and try to stay "in control"...you're doing it wrong. (i don't mean you should be running through the streets naked and screaming, i mean you should be 'going with the flow,' not trying to stay in control) the best trips happen when you surrender control. you need a good setting to be able to do that. but with that said, combining weed with psychedelics, can often make for an uncomfortable time. like she just said^^^
