New to the forum

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by Infidel, Jun 15, 2006.

  1. Infidel

    Infidel Member

    Hey I'm new on here and thought that I would ask for a bit of advice. I'm a gay 21 yr old male who has only ever 'come out' to a couple of people and I am not particularly comfortable with being gay, I recently started university and I was hoping that it would be a fresh start and I would gradually tell people. I unfortunately havent been able to and am finding things very difficult, I am introverted and find it difficult to talk in groups because of it and don't know where to go with things.

    Thanks for listening.
  2. melyn

    melyn Member

    Is there anyone your particularaly close to who you could tell? I find that once you get the ball rolling its much easier to come out to people.

    Is there any particular reason you don't feel comfortable being gay? Because I think that once your more comfortable with yourself you'll find it much easier to come out, and visa-versa the more 'out' you are the moreconfidence I think you'll have.

    Hope i've been of somehelp, love and hugs melyn xx
  3. okay

    okay Member

    When I was in college I was not really openly gay but enough people knew and talked that it got around and I met people all the time. Some by accident and some that came looking for me cuz they knew. I was never comfortable with using my sexuality to make a statement--if you know what I mean--I just tried to be the person I was (am) and things usually worked out. The university I went to was about 400 miles from where i live. There was this one really hot guy who kept coming around to my apartment. I never even thought he may be gay. After I graduated and was back in chicago, I ran into him at a concert. He asked me for my phone number. We hooked up.

    You have to find your own comfort level with how open you want to be. You can be open without being flamboyent. You can be open and subtle at the same time. But it starts with you--you have to be comfortable with your sexuality.

    Good luck
  4. Infidel

    Infidel Member

    Thanks for the replies, I know I need to start to tell more people, and as I do I will hopefully start to fell better about things. Its been helpful just posting on here and listening to other peoples replies so thanks.
  5. Hi. I sympathize. I told my therapist I'm bi:)
  6. Ryvr

    Ryvr Member

    I was in a similar situation when I started college. I had only just told my best friend (female), and to do that I had to write it on paper after shaking for a while and then insisted we burn the paper immediately. After I got to college, I got a therapist there and she was the next person I told ... then after a little online posting, then telling a few people in person, it quickly got easier and fun.
    Good luck, have fun.

    Peace and Love,
  7. JI G

    JI G Member

    i was thinking about telling my therapist.. but im afraid he will tell my mom/..wat u guys think???? should i do itor will he tell my mom?? i think by law he has to keep queit.... except for a few things like if im doing drugs/ gonna commit suicide.. which im not.. those 2 things dont even cross my mind
  8. Night_Owl49

    Night_Owl49 Since 2006

    there's no way he can tell your mom that you're gay. he couldn't tell her you do drugs (if you did), either...
  9. Gay77

    Gay77 Member

    Hi all of them
    I like this forum
  10. SageDreamer

    SageDreamer Senior Member

    Start slowly. Some people are just naturally more introverted than others. Coming to this forum is a good step; people might not be so scary on a computer as they might be in person.

    Try to find some good friends--not necessarily gay friends or a lover, but people you feel comfortable with, or at least less nervous.

    Having good experiences with other gay people makes a big difference.
  11. The_Warden

    The_Warden Member

    Well considering your in england it is one bonus i guess. I am also 21 and know what your going through.. Here is my advice:

    Book a weekend in Brighton (gay capital of europe), In this town u can let your hair down relax take it easy and enjoy the various venues that are gay only. I have lived here all my life and until i was 19 i didnt know my city where ive grown was a gay resort... The best advice is after you have done that then you should feel more free to be yourself being gay is not a crime..

  12. luxhombre

    luxhombre Member

    me too, i am in high school, well finished it this year, but never told anyone about my being a g. I can't, what shall I do? I have never had a close friend, like me, and do not want to have a friend just for sex or... I want sb who is just a friend, that's all, and my family, and no one, knows who I am.

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