New Sex Acts With Partner: Ask Or Just Do it ?

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by nz male, May 6, 2013.

  1. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    When you have been having sex with your partner, do you ask them beforehand if they mind you trying something new / different in the way of a sex act or do you go with your horny feelings at the time & just do it - & do it without asking ?
    Did they like or dislike what you did to them ?
  2. Aerianne

    Aerianne Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    It depends on the person, the relationship, and the "act". There's no across the board answer.
  3. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear voice of sexy

    yeah, it obviously depends. you don't just jam it in her ass unannounced.
  4. Mike Suicide

    Mike Suicide Sweet and Tender Hooligan

    ...guess i've been doing it wrong this whole time.
  5. silk896

    silk896 Member

    Different sex positions and variations on what you have been doing - fine.

    However there are certain acts that many in our society considers taboo (not the illegal ones) such as bondage, anal, pee play, a third partner, pain and so on.
    I would not want something I considered taboo just "plonked" on me without consultation.

    BTW I'm pretty amenable to most things - but if anyone tried bondage/pain on me unannounced, ................. Not happy Jan!
  6. kairilove

    kairilove Member

  7. kairilove

    kairilove Member

    Well sometimes it's not such a bad thing :D
  8. Emanresu

    Emanresu Member

    This can be a tricky thing to figure out. As has been said it depends on the act, the person, and the relationship. It has been my experience (from talking to women, not from trying freaky things without asking) that some people will be offended, freaked out, or uncomfortable if you try something without asking, but it has also been my experience that sometimes people find it to be a turn off if you are too timid, always asking for permission. It's a gray area and you've got to be careful and use common sense. The person I'm with now doesn't like to be asked, she likes it when I just go ahead and do what I want, but most of my partners have not been like that.
  9. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    Ok, say for example, you had never given your partner of several years (or maybe have known them only for a short time) oral sex before & you started feeling so darn horny & your desires take over & you give it to them without mentioning to them beforehand & just go for it.
    Do you ask yourself 'should I or shouldn't I' discuss it first with your partner or just wait & see what reaction you get from your partner either during or after doing a sex act they may or may not agree on?
  10. Emanresu

    Emanresu Member

    When it comes to giving head to a woman I've never been with before I usually do something along the lines of continually working my way in that direction until it becomes obvious that they don't want it (that's actually never happened to me, never met a woman that didn't want oral). Kiss the neck, then chest, then abs, then lower, if she's still into it at that point she probably wants oral. Undo the button on her pants, kiss even lower, etc. You could say something like, I'm going to keep going unless you tell me to stop.
  11. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    The first time I licked my wife's genitals, she let me do it but then told me it wasn't her type of thing. So after that I just licked her upper thighs & smelt her vagina & blew on it. Other times I have tried to get her to touch the knob of my penis but she quickly takes her hands away - presume she doesn't like the thought of me ejaculating on her fingers. I feel so short changed with not having such acceptable acts like these being able to do with her. I asked if her religious background was partly her reason / excuse, but got told NO!. She has never come up with any adequate answers / reasons. Is she being too selfish or is she just freaking out far too much?
  12. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    The first time I touched the opening of her anus, she complained about that as well.
    She doesn't seem to mind me using certain sex toys but much prefers the use of natural things - penis - fingers.
    So has anyone had the same 'don't do that' again' or keep away from that area remark & thought it wasn't that bad it would freak their partner out so much?
  13. -Yggdrasil-

    -Yggdrasil- Einherjar

    I put my tongue everywhere but I don't have a fridgid missus so that's easy. I don't ask I just do, I mean I know what she's gonna like and not like already.

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