New, scared, and want to talk

I'm a 40-something woman, married for 20 years with two children. I'm a "tomboy," but not butch in any way--a chapstick lesbian, I think I've heard it termed. People in my life are very homophobic. My g'father was a southern Baptist minister -- how's that for a start? I have been hiding feelings I've had for women for years, and doing it pretty well. I think I'm at my breaking point, though. I don't think I could ever come out for real. I really need to talk with someone who's in a similar situation. You don't know what it took for me to even join this group and make a post. I am terrified. My husband knows something's up; he's just waiting for me to say it out loud. I can't. I won't hurt my children. But I really need to hear from someone who understands; I have nobody in my life who does. Thanks, in advance. This seems like such a supportive group of folks.

 

If you raised your children well, they can accept you as you have always been.

If your husband already knows, but has left you the choice to speak up rather than condemning you for it, he sounds like a man you can count on as a friend.

And if the rest of your community is not in your pants, it's not their concern who you let in your pants. Trying to get a hater not to hate you is not going to happen, and it sounds like you have many in your area, so do you really need to say anything to them at all?

And for anyone who wants to use the bible like a battering ram: Jesus said love is salvation. If you love god and accept Jesus as your savior you go to heaven the same as anyone who has done something considered a sin. The bible also says none are born without sin, all are guilty, but all sin has been atoned for. These are the parts of the bible that tend to get left out by the aggressively anti-gay Christians. Leaving them out does not mean they are less important unless one considers what the savior said with his own mouth pointless, in which case they may not even be a christian.

 

Not trying to ruin your good time, but 90% of the people you're responding to haven't been here in years and won't be coming back anytime soon.

You should join the discussions that have recent replies.