new relationship in 3 months we only had sex ONCE

Im dating this girl for little less then 3 months now. We are both 26. We are now officially bf/gf and we get along pretty good. But here is the thing that bothers me. We have had sex only once. It was around 6 weeks and around 10 dates.


I invited her at my place for the movie night. Of course I chose boring movie so I made my move after we both agree we should watch different movie. We had sex for around an hour. Sex was not great. It was not even good. During sex she told me she hasn’t had sex for 1.5 years and she hasn’t had boyfriend for 3 years. I said I also haven’t had sex for over a year (I have had health problems – ankle injuries and operations). Because of that I wasnt able to perform as well as id like to (only missionary position and her on top). I came she didn’t… I went down on her, fingering her – she was saying that was good, it feels good during sex… blablaba. After sex we watched another movie and then she left.



Now every time I invite her over to my place (I do not live alone so its usually on fridays and saturdays) she has an excuse. I often invite her day before so she can make plans, but everytime something comes up (she invites her friends over and they drink so she cant drive, she has something to do, …) That happened the last 3 times and im annoyed and angry. She has never said she wont come right away, its always ‘I ll let you know’ and she always ‘get stuck’. Other than that we see each other 3 to 4 times a week .She met all my friends, I met hers, I met all her close relatives pretty soon. During dates there is non stop physical contact, kissing, making out… I can confidently say Im good bf and always take time for her. Tonight I inveted her over and she said she will let me know since she went to visit her relatives for new year, and after 2 hours she said she ‘got stuck’ and is now at home on a couch and that we will see each other tomorrow. I was angry and wrote back ‘you often ‘get stuck’ when I invite you over to my place… good night’. BTW she lives with her parents so I never spent a night or had sex at her place.


My plan is to talk to her about that because its really bothering me. I was expecting sex every chance we can get, at least at this stage of relationship. Any thoughts? Tnx for opinions.

 

I totally agree with you. I would feel a little "put out" if I were in your position. I think having a talk with her is your first step - so you're right about that. If you sense that you're getting the run around, I would consider whether I wanted to keep going down that road. Imo, I would cut my losses and move on to someone who treated me like they wanted to be around me.

 

Well before I would take happily's advice, I'd schedule a date and bring this topic up.

I'd probably say umm, hey I know that the quality of our last sex session kinda was well bad, and I wanted to let you know I usually perform better it's just these injuries...blah blah.

But let her know your open to try other things sexually like oral or the use of toys and lube.

Perhaps the problem isn't sexual and emotionally she's not with you in this relationship, hence the no orgasm on her part....

Look past the obvious girls tend to do a lot of self-talk in their heads, what their thinking comes out or leaks out subliminally.

 

grats on your 2500th post

 

Hate to tell you this OP, but she doesn't sound into you. Now (I'm being comical here) it may be you're bad in bed or don't have the right "stuff." Only you can answer that, but overall it sounds like she's definitely giving you the run around.

My advice? Stop calling her, pursue or create other opportunities with other woman and roll with it. She may call you, she may not. I'm thinking she won't call you and things will fizzle out. At which point move on with your life. If she does happen to call you then hit her right between the eyes and tell her she's been aloof, passive, and doesn't really seem to be putting any investment into this relationship. By saying that you can get things off your chest, but in the end I don't think it will matter as again I just don't think she's into you or the relationship.

So "Keep calm and move on..."