Looking for help;I need friends,love,acceptance,belonging,a place to go,preferably somewhere in the Pacific Northwest,a new life,a new start and I don't know what kind of people I'll find here,or if anyone can even help me,but I'm lost,and don't know what to do,who to turn to,where to go.... Don't mind me,I'm just sharing my post from FaceBook last night,because I still feel this way,I need input.......and I'm thinking I'm going to leave home,I have nowhere to go,but I don't care,I can't stay shut up in my room any longer,like I have the past 4 years.Anyway,here it is > ~True love,does it exist?If so,then where is it?The same goes for a real family....... I was never a huge fan of Twilight,although I liked it,and thought the books were really good,and I haven't been into vampires since my 20's,but recently I had a dream that was more like a premonition,it seemed so real.~ I was walking along a frozen over river or lake,and saw a house on a hill in the distance,when I got close to it I thought about how familiar it looked,although I've never seen the back side of it.Well,when I got right below it on the frozen water,the ice cracked,and I fell through.I'm not to sure what happened after,whether someone pulled me out or not,but I think they did (Alice?).Anyway,I was cold,freezing,and probably going into shock from hypothermia,I made my way up to the house where Esme was just coming outside,and she wrapped a blanket around me.I felt really welcomed,and like I belonged there,and somehow knew that I would be the newest member of the Cullen family,I'm not sure why,but I just knew. Anyway,ever since this dream,things have changed for me.I can't stop thinking about it,and I wish I could find some way into whatever alternate universe that the Cullen's actually exist,because life is just meaningless to me now.The dream was more real to me than this life,and the family bond,and love that I felt is something that I don't have here.I've lost my appetite,the world seems dull and lifeless,I don't even want to live anymore.......life just seems so empty and meaningless.I just want to find the Cullen's,or a family like theirs,somewhere I can feel loved,accepted,and belong,but I don't know if there's anything like that in this world,so maybe it's time to move to the next. I'm through with everything,politics,religion,world events,I just don't care any more,I don't even want to get out of bed.I have nowhere to go and no money to get there if I did.If my dream were real,I would go find it,but unless Alice Cullen comes through my window,or something similar,I think I'll just lay here and hopefully sleep,and dream my dream,and pray I never have to wake up.........
