Need some info about "running away"

I did not think you would be hand delievering it to them ...leave it a day or so...i would post it in the same state your leaving (if your going that far).. they may trace the postage markings. i was thinking you could email them ? but thats traceable i bet ??...i guess it realy depends on if they set out too find you because they don't want you to leave them . If they understand eventualy or just accept the fact..no hiding or destroying of identity is needed..but the advice in how to do that is always good to have .

some way for them to contact you ... to find out their reaction would be a good idea...i don't think you want to see them crying on some TV press confrence titled 'find our daugter'

 

If your boyfriend is going with you and he's 20, then he'll get knabbed for kidnapping if you get caught. You sure you wanna risk that?

 

I've dropped out and lived on the streets. Ran away from high school and worked in restuarants to survive.

There are pros and cons to it. On one hand you get to see all kinds of interesting people and lifestyles that you never can see once you are back in the 'establishment'. Also there are wonderful forms of toleration on the street that would never happen in 'normal' middle class life. 'Establishment' type people are often extremely close-minded - its all about the money.

On the other hand, there can be brutal indifference to values one is used to in high school. For an example, high school guys usually take pride in being straight and girls in having sex only with guys they love. There are places on the street where no one gives a shit about that.

Also it is usually a much faster track to making lots of money to stay in the 'establishment' and go on to university.

 

If I was you, i just tell your parents you are going and there is nothing they can do about it. I left my home country almost 5 years ago and been travelling or on the road all this time. Trust me, you can get traced, paper work or some form of transactions. Dude, if you get a job, you have to produce something to prove you can work, if you go to Canada, they can trace it through your passport etc....even drawing money from a bank, can be traced to a area where you were. Leave an email address for your folks to get in contact with you if you do go. Changing your name involves paper work too, PI, SchmeI, PoliceI and proberly I could find a trace, ok, maybe not me, but it can be done. So rather just be honest to your folks and put the facts down. End of the day you will feel better and your relationship with your parents would be allot better.

The Dude abides.

Good Luck

 

Can someone tell me more about this? I find that hard to believe. Even if I'm willing to go and my parents don't press any charges? Speaking of which, my parents would never try to press charges on him for anything. Honestly, I feel like MOST people aren't really trying to answer my questions here. More like trying to convince me in some way to change my mind. Which I suppose is understandable, but I'm a little dishearted that no one has anything nice to say to me. Anyway, I'd like to find out more about this "kidnapping" law, because it just seems a little unreal to me. Kind of reminds me of the so-called "health department code" about going barefoot. Just seems wacky, that's all.

 

Well, I was found when I opened a bank account. I had to give an address, and I didn't have one at the time. So I put my parents address in. I was young and inexperienced and didn't think about it.

You need a bank account, right? Can't keep your money in the shoes forever.

I'm just trying to give you my perspective, since I'm alot older now. I'm just thinking what I would do if I had to run away all over again.

 

Hi Vanilla,

Transportation of minors across state lines is technically illegal especially if it's for illegal purposes.
But, if he's not going to pimp you out, or take you to rob a bank, then it's not a very big deal.
Also, Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor is only a major deal if, again, your doing a major wrong.
But cops deal with run-aways all the time, and if you aren't causing trouble they usually let you go and tell you to keep your nose clean. At least in cities.

But remember, if any body asks, your 18!!
I know 18yr olds that look 13!
Change your last name!
Don't carry your ID!
What can they do? If you stick to your story, and you haven't been picked up for a crime, then they have to let you go.

Still, going with your boyfriend is the best idea.
Your being very smart.
Don't go alone if you can help it.
That fact that your thinking this through and asking for advise is a real good sign.

What would I do?
I'd check out WOOFing, working on organic farms. These farms attract organic type young people from all over the world. Sometimes its a lot of fun. There are web-sites that list farms all over the country, and how to get in touch with them.
Or, check out Intentional Communities. ic.org is a web site that lists hundreds of different commune type situations.
I live in a communal situation, but I can't invite you here because you made the mistake of already telling me that your 16!
If you hadn't done that, there would have been no questions asked.
Remember, your 18!
Or, your boyfriend can get a paycheck job, and you won't have to be homeless for long.

If you have to be homeless for a while, Santa Cruz or Arcata are two of the better California towns to be homeless in. If homeless, avoid the cities, especially L.A.

If your descrete and you have a tent and sleeping bag, you can squat in state or county woods outside any town.
I have friends that did that for 12 yrs in the city limit of a big town.
They gave birth to 5 girls in their tent.
But these folk are as quiet and invisible as deer.

Good luck! I ran away when I was your age. But I'm a boy, and it was the '60s! Need I say more!

 

Did you check out the link I put up? It rocks..... It made me want to run away.

 

i'm not runnin' away but i looked at that site...and it definately gives you good tips on the whole hiding thing....it does make me wanna try it out...haha

 

Thanks everyone. and thank you m6m for all your help. I look at least 18 or 19, so that may not be a problem. I was thinking about Arcata. I hear good things about Berekely, what do you think?

And I checked out the site that was posted and it's pretty cool. Lots of good information.

But yea, thanks a lot.

 

Vanilla Faerie,

Berekely is a very progressive town, but it is highly urbanized.
Moreover, it neighbors Oakland which is bad news.
I would suggest Berekely only if you had a support network there.
If I went to Berekely, I would give myself only two weeks to find supportive friends or a job.
Any longer than that, and your tempting fate.

Believe me, Santa Cruz is much superior to Berekely in every way.
If you absolutely wanted to experience an urban environment, then OK, Berekely is better than most.

You know, you live in a Border State.
I was just thinking, you and your boyfriend have been together 3yrs? Since you were 13? Now that says something about the two of you.
I don't know if it's still true, but in those Southern States, a girl used to be able to get married out of kindergarten.
The only difference between marriage and what the two of you are now is a simple piece of paper.
And, it would solve all your problems. Because a married girl can go where ever she wants, and do what ever she wants.
In Canada, I hear a girl can get married at 14. And in Mexico, I hear it's 12!

I know that sounds like personal advise, but I only give it as a practical suggestion that may or may not be practical in your situation.

Also, if you had a job and an apartment, you could go to a judge, and be declared an Emancipated Minor. That would solve all your problems as well.
But I'm not sure if you need parental consent for that either.

 

You're so nice, thank you so much for all of your help. I'm totally going to do some research on Santa Cruz. I'm also going to check into the marriage laws here and in other states. I think it's a great idea, but my boyfriend is yet to voice his opinion about it. I'm sure things are going to work out though. Again, thanks so much for your advice.

 

The law an adult male on transporting a minor female over the state line is called the Man Act and it'll get ya twenty in the big house..your parents dont have to press charges on the dude.. the state will pick it up and prosecute or could if they choose to.. Vanila it's not that weagainst you.. but most of us oldies, know the pitfalls that you will most deffinalty will come across.. I would never advise anyone to run away..bad things happen out there that you have no idea of... and don't fool yourself into thinking.. aww that wont happen to me..thousands of kids come up missing all over the world every day..usually found in a shallow grave.. I don't mean to sound harsh.. but that's realaity.. I'm not dis'ing you or your feelings.. I do understand.. but if I had it to do again (running away) I never would have done it. You should leave with your parents concent and show them your responsible enough to handle a job, rent, car and insurance..and feed your self and have all the comforts you've grown use to in your parents home..have you ever missed a meal.. or not have a bath for sometimes weeks at a time. or a place to sleep, clean clothes even a place to potty.. the big picture needs a look..


Shameless

 

you sound very mature at 16.You probably were at 13 to atract an older boyfriend.On the other hand,what's a 17 year old doing going after a 13 year old.That is the oppisite.That is not mature.Now at 16,unfortunatly nobody will hire you if they have any inclination that you're a runaway or a street person.Now you have to depend on him.Make sure he can handle it or you're screwed.At 20 he should have the work experiance to get a job anywhere.Does he have a trade?Does he have a job now?

Lecture aside,In the past Berkely had many runaways.They created a problem because there weren't enough jobs and the employers figure you're a runaway anyways.I don't know now but I hear it's exspensive.Santa Cruz sounds like a better choice,but being a beach town there's probably a lot of others looking for work.If you went just before the summer season you might have a better chance.Don't wait until the weathers real nice and everybody wants to be there.There's also campgrounds you could stay in cheap.
Personally after going through all that.I was virtually on my own at 15,when I hitchhiked and hopped trains to Colorado.At 16 I hung out on Telegraph and up and down the California coast.I wouldn't suggest it to anybody,although I would do it all over again.What's that song,Glory Days...

 

gate I would do it again.. except the running away part..it hurt my parents really bad... my daddy most of all.. he knew how rough it was out there and he was afraid for me and prolly wanted to kill any dude that harmed me.. I shouldn't have put him/them threw that..I think it shortened my daddys life.. and that I will be truly sorry for the rest of my life.

Parents are people too and deserve a certian ammount of respect for everything they put up with from you.. I'm sure they are dong their best to be good parents with out beating the snot plum from ya for being so spoiled, selfish and hateful to them all the time.. you never did say what your parents did so wrong to be hated by you..what mama didn't let you go to a party..where there was drinking drugs and wild sex.. well wait till you have kids n see how they treat you when you say NO.. to the same things you hate your parents for..I could see if they abused you in any form.. but I dont think this is the case..
I maybe shouting too loudly for you to hear me tho.. all I can do is try...

 

I was sitting here trying to keep my grandson from eating dirt thinking about the importance of family.It is hard on the parents.It's hard on everybody.In my case it wasn't what I wasn't allowed to do,it had to do more with what I was doing.I was getting into a lot of trouble.I won't elaborate,but running away was the best thing for me.It not only got me out of a bad enviroment,it also straightened me out and made me face reality.Something I might have not otherwise done.It gave me the courage later to quit my job,once again becoming homeless, and go back to college.I was streetwise and knew I would survive.Once again I wouldn't suggest it to anybody.It's a bad idea.Two years seems like a long time at 16,but it's really not once you hit 48,it's just not worth it.


Keep on keeping on...

 

Hi there! I left home at 14.I'm a lot older now and my parents & I STILL don't see eye to eye! They'll always see me as their child.When I left home the hippie movement was going strong,people took care of each other,it was really cool! It was easy to survive then,now the times are much harsher,people tend to look out only for themselves.I was raped twice at 14 while on the run,guys who picked me up hitchhiking in Louisville,KY. Today even a job flippin' burgers requires a GED. People won't hire a juvenile to sit their children,that would make them aiders and abettors,Big Trouble for them.Communes won't take you in for that same reason(I tried Twin Oaks when I was 15 to no avail!)Isn't there a family member you can relate to(an Aunt?) that,once you get your thoughts and feelings out,they can maybe mediate in your behalf with your parents to ease up on you. You're young only Once and for a Very Short While,this is the time you can use(rent,bill free at your home!) to make yourself strong through self introspection.Realize your potential.What do you enjoy doing?Art?Music?Working with animals? Find that thing you enjoy most and apply it to your Life! An education is really the only tool you need,it's Free! Get through high school,apply at a community college(there are grants&scholarships!)take the courses you need to get into the field you enjoy! I'm not preaching,I'm just telling you it is so very hard to try to do this at a later age! WHAT YOU DO NOW AFFECTS YOUR WHOLE LIFE!!! Please think it through,our parents WERE young & wild and did some crazy shit they probably aren't too proud of,they haven't always been OLD . Whatever your choice,be Aware,be really careful and THINK! You're in my prayers.

 

God, you people are acting like you know me. I NEVER said I hated my parents! I don't, I actually love them and it bothers me to put them through this. They never pissed me off by not letting me go somewhere or some stupid shit. Actually, I'm never any trouble at all to them. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs or any of the other things you people seem to think I do. And, my boyfriend is not immature, thank you! He has an associates and he is planning on going back to college soon. He wants to be a teacher. I also plan on becoming an nurse anesthetist. It's not like I want to live on the streets and beg for money all my life or anything. I just NEED to get out of this town and STATE for that matter. Running away is my only option right now. My parents won't let me leave just because I can get a job and all this. I have two jobs right now, I bought my own car and I'm paying my own insurance and I buy all my own clothes, ect. Everyone is acting like I'm some stupid, spoiled teenager who just wants to rebel. The fact is, if my boyfriend and I don't get out of this stupid, redneck town we're going to go fucking nuts. I've put up with it for as long as possible. Sure, two years isn't that long, but we have the fever to leave NOW. Everyone is assuming that I hate my parents, my boyfriend is an immature bum, I'm spoiled and tons of other stuff.


I'm not sure how I'm going to do this, but I know I can. If I could get my parents permission that'd be grand, but if not I feel like I have to leave anyway. NOT because I hate them, but just because I WANT to. Get it straight. Jeez.

Sorry for being a bitch, but I don't think most of you understand that well.

 

hope your blow out made you feel better and now it makes a lot more sense, ah well good luck to ya anyway

 

Yes I do understand you now.You're a spoiled bitch that doesn't think of anybody but herself.At 17 I stayed away from 13 year old girls,At 20 I stayed away from 16 year old girls.At 48 I stay away from all young girls.I respect young girls.Your boyfriend doesn't.Neither one of you will finish your schooling this way and you won't get a job.Where does your boyfriend live?With his parents?What is his job?
You posted wanting advice and you got it.Stay in your redneck town and try to change it.Nobody else wants your spoiled ass.Get it.