Need Some Help...really Not Sure What To Do.

Hey everyone. I think i've met the love of my life. I really have. one problem just found out she is pregnant from man she was with before. He told her to get an abortion and left. I love her, and I want best for her. I also love kids, and I want to have my own. But right now is not the right time, both young, i'm almost done college and she is suppose to start. we're plannnign on moving out west maybe next year, and having children there once things are steady. If she kept the baby odds are she wouldn't go to college. Her own mum had to raise kids by herself while she was young, and had to work series of minimum wage jobs to support her kids. I dont want that for her, I see it making her so unhappy. And also I just dont know what I want...I could take the child as my own for her but it would really sort of mess up all our plans, which I feel guilty for saying but its the truth.. need some advice please, or just if some of you have gone through anything similar share some insight,

thank you all in advance

 

I guess.. how do you feel about it? You're pointing out positivity which is good and plans etc. but I'm unsure what you actually think of the matter.
Personally it sounds like you aren't concerned it will be from a past lover whatsoever so good for you, you are a good person.

 

the fact from past lover doesn't bother me all that much, I always considered adopting if didn't have children of my own. How I feel, I really don't know to be honest, Just the timing would be shit. I was planning on doing second year of college, and graduating at the same time as her then moving out west and having children. We dont want to stay here, especially for her she's been living in same place all her life and lots of bad memories, with an abusive and rapist father as the root of most of her issues. I've worked out west before, and I love it and and she has also gone and fell in love with the place. its where we want to have our children and spend our life together. but this is pretty unexpected for me at least. she told me was possibility, but found out its real just today,

 

Having a child is such a huge thing! I'd say there is a big incompatibility between the two of you, since she wants the child and you don't. Try to think of it as an outsider. You'd tell yourself it isn't the right relationship, because having a child you aren't really willing to have at this moment in time isn't a small detail. It's something very, very complicated, very important, very life changing. You aren't prepared to have a child now, following your words about your plans.

And what if this guy comes back? She may say stuff, but that's what she wants, what she thinks she wants, what she thinks she'd do. Break ups with children involved are complicated.

If you decide it is too much, excuse yourself out of this relationship. It doesn't make you a bad person.

 

There are so many complex emotions going on in that poor girl's mind. If you really love her, you'll be there to support her through whatever she decides. I'm sure she's terrified and could use comfort and support. If you cannot provide that, then she truly is not the love of your life.

 

I'm going to be blunt.
You feeling this strongly about a woman that you've known for less than 9 months worries me.
The whole "love of your life", Cupid's arrow, "our Love will make it work" fantasy.

You talk about your plans, your feelings and your concerns, but not hers.

Sometimes the knight who rescues a maiden is actually kidnapping the maiden for himself.