Need some help for me and my girlfriend please...

Hi everyone. Ok, here is the deal. Lots of times when we have sex, it really hurts her, even when it doesn't feel dry or tight at all. Sometimes she's really into it and enjoys it, seems like she hasn't been lately though. I remember when we first started having sex, she seemed to like it alot, it's almost as if she's not satisfied anymore or something. Before we ever actually made love, we tried using fingers and stuff. The first time it really hurt her, but then she really enjoyed it... now it seems like it doesn't have much effect on her. Ok, so what am I doing wrong everyone?

 

have you asked her what exactly is hurting? If you don't stop causing her pain that she doesn't want, of COURSE she's gonna stop being interested. I can't speak for her, but in my last relationship the guy was too long and kept hitting my cervix. Even in positions where I shoulda been in control of our speed and depth (me on top) he'd grab my hips and ram himself in and out quickly and hard, which hurt. Yes I told him as much, and no he didn't stop.

Try going slower, use more lube, and don't go so deep. See if that helps. And ASK her, because none of us are mindreaders here.

 

You should be having this conversation with her. If you are close enough to have sex with her, you should be able to talk about it.

 

Well yeah we've talked about it plenty of times, she said that she doesn't know why. I think that really small vaginas must be hereditary for the women in her family, because her sister and her boyfriend are having similar problems. Lots of times she's said that she has to be completely in the mood first for it to feel good. The lube stuff makes the pain go away, but usually doesn't seem to feel so good for her. I mean she says that she's satisfied, but I think sh might just be saying that to make me happy... because it really doesn't seem like she is. I do already know that she has a very low sex-drive though.

Which leads me to my next question... What are some good ways to turn a girl or out her in the mood for love?

 

Put orajel in the lube. Hey, it'll stop it from hurting.

We don't know your girlfriend. What turns her on? Getting my hair pulled turns me on more than anything. It's probably different for your bitch.

 

usualy more/longer foreplay will do it..tool i luv ya but i dont get the sence that this girls the hair pullin type..lol
i'd say keep the foreplay goin till shes begging for you to enter
if ya just drop your pants & expect her to be ready its gonna hurt everytime

 

Tch, well fine.

You do have a point, though. Tease the fuck outta that broad until she's screaming for you to bone her. And then keep teasing.

 

i'll drag ya round by your hair if ya want..lol my mom always says i;m acaveman..lol

 

I don't even know what orajel is. I don't know what turns her on... if I did then I wouldn't have to go around asking a bunch of women what kind of things turn them on in a desperate attempt to satisfy my lover. But thanks alot, I'll try the hair-pulling thing, it's worth a try... but somehow, I don't think that it will really be her cup of tea in the end, if you get what I'm saying. o_0

 

Alright, that sounds good I'll try that too.

Anybody else have anymore suggestions?

 

why dont' you ask her what turns her on? Start it off with something like "I really love it when you [insert action here], what do you really like?" Sharing, give and take info about each other. And if you think something isn't gonna turn her on, don't do it before talking to her about it because hairpullling can probably turn a lot of gals off (not me, but I'm a freak). We can't tell you what YOUR girlfriend will like because we aren't her, we havent' met her, let alone talked to her about her bedroom interests.

 

I was kidding with the orajel... Orajel's the stuff you put on your teeth when you have toothaches. The stuff that makes your mouth go numb. Or your fingers. Or anything it touches.

If she's one of those wimpy "I like to be gentle" broads, pulling her hair might reward you a smack in the face.

But you could also just spank her back.

 

i have this same problem with my g/f. her sex drive isn't what it used to be, and sex hurts sometimes. its not that it hurts all the way through, just when i push too hard in a certain direction. oh, and she's on the birth control pill, which has "decreased sexual interest" listed as a side-effect.

 

Astaroth, I'm curious as to how much she enjoys it when she does. When a couple makes love the first few times the novelty alone is enough to have people really enjoy it. But have you ever made her climax? If you have than you can just do what you did then, only spend more time with it. She may be able to tell you.

If you never made her climax then just asking her what she likes will help but she may as yet to discover what she likes so the 2 of you would have to explore different things until she finds one she likes.

Tho all women are different there are a few thinks that go well with the majority of women.
http://sexuality.about.com/cs/sexualtechnique/ht/cunnilingus.htm.

 

I know that not every woman is the same and all everyone, but I just thought that there might ge a general thing that most women like when it comes to turning them on. Like for example, we all know how easy it is for a woman to turn on a man, am I right or am I right? Just show some sexual interest, show your bare breasts or something, and it can usually turn on any guy in about 5 seconds.

Well thanks alot so far everyone, the help is very much apprecuiated. She is definitely one of those "be gentle" types, but that's what I like, so it's fine. It just has some setbacks, because she goes crazy sometimes... and oh man, when she is having her period it's like a 5 day long nitemare for me. And yes, I've made her climax before, she used to climax almost everytime it seems, unless she was faking. She promises that she wasn't though, so I believe her. Lately though, we also haven't had much time to spend together, we've both been really busy. She's still in highschool too, her senior year... so that also takes time out of our relationship, because she tries hard in school, and I want her to become something good... not a bum living with her parents like I am.