Need help with, well, just men? One in particular...

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by sb12aa, May 30, 2013.

  1. sb12aa

    sb12aa Guest

    Hi! Ok this is a bit weird, I've never done this before but I just wanted to get some advice. I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly 5 years in March and I'm pretty happy with that decision. We weren't right for each other. I'm turning 21 in October. Just before we broke up I met this guy at Dubai airport, we were on the same flight back to the UK and it was delayed by 2 hours. He suggested we go get a drink at the airport's bar and we were there just talking till we had to board. And we've kept in touch since then. I don't know if this is a big age gap, but he's 33. He's very handsome and I find him really attractive, and I was hoping to have a kind fling with him, nothing serious. But I've got two problems. 1) He lives in Bristol and I live in London which are about 2 or 3 hours apart. He said he comes to London quite often, and he did come once but I couldn't see him, much to my frustration. So I can't really suggest a casual coffee or something. 2) Because I was in a relationship for so long, I have no idea how to talk to a guy I'm interested in. I over think everything I say and always wonder if he might find some stuff I say or do childish.

    Basically I'm driving myself insane. Some advice would be great! How to talk to him? How to suggest to meet up? Just what the hell do I do? Sorry for the looong entry. Thanks!
  2. lively_girl

    lively_girl Member

    Just make sure he's not married before you start something.
  3. sb12aa

    sb12aa Guest

    Not married, no girlfriend. I wouldn't ever go there if there was.
  4. Just_a_woman

    Just_a_woman Member

    How to talk to anyone: just be yourself. Say no when you think you should and don't do things you don't wanna do. And when you do want something, let the other person know. If you think there is a misunderstanding, make things clear immediately. Never assume people can read your mind.

    If you're childish, then, so be it: don't become somebody else to please a man. Be yourself.

    There is a possibility he's married, or in a relationship. I'd ask... and remind myself many men lie about it to get sex. Not all, but many.

    With so many gorgeous and interesting men in London, is it worth to start anything with a guy who's far? What if you get emotionally connected? But that's for you to decide, of course.

    Good luck.
  5. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

    This is it, in a nutshell.

    I'm currently dating someone with a similar age spread (I'm the old creepy guy). We both seem to be happy thus far.
  6. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    It's important to be careful, but it's also crucial to KEEP COMMUNICATING and get to know each other more and more. As for the intimacy aspect, I wouldn't jump right in head first if I were you, but rather, I'd slowly dip my toes in first, then one of your leg, and the whole nine yards. Yeah, that basically means go slow, lol.

    It's interesting you say you broke up with your boyfriend in March, and met the new guy shortly before... That would make it approximately three months since you and this guy first met? I'm in a slightly different situation since the girl I'm involved with and myself are kind of serious-ish, but the three months part is the same. If you're not after something serious, then I might not have the best advice because I tend to get all hopeless romantic when it comes to this kind of stuff, lol. xD But in any relationship, I've always believed that communication is the most important thing. Without it, nothing would be fulfilling, be it everyday conversations, cuddling, working together, sex, what-have-you. So, be honest and upfront about what you are about, what you want, how you feel about the guy, and things like that, WITHOUT sounding too heavy. Be casual, chill, laid-back, and natural. Tell each other jokes(even the bad ones if they aren't too offensive, lol) and laugh together. And be sure he treats you with the same sense of honour and respect as you do.

    As for the age part, that's nothing in my opinion as long as you don't perceive it as a problem. There's a bigger age gap between my girl and myself, by several years no less, and we're pretty happily involved so far. And be lucky he lives only a few hours away from you! That's by car, correct? My girl lives in a place that requires me to take TWO airplane flights if/when I want to go visit her. I'm sure you can work around your 3-hour distance issue. ;)

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