Need help orgasming

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by acole, Mar 4, 2019.

  1. acole

    acole Member

    Is there anything I can do to increase my chances of orgasm with my boyfriend? I am able to finish on my own but only with a vibrator or rarely my fingers with LOTS of lube. I know there are pills for males that make sex better but is there anything like that made for women? Or a type of lube that will increase orgasm chances? I enjoy oral sex and finger simulation but can never finish with a partner. I would rather not use a vibrator together but if there’s no other option‍♀️... he is very good in bed and it’s not just him because I had this issue with my past boyfriends as well. I have noticed he gets me closer than any of them but I still can’t seem to finish. I am honest with him and let him know that I’m not getting anywhere but I’ve noticed it takes a huge toll on his confidence and mine as well.
     
  2. Gene London

    Gene London Member

    I recently purchased Zestra for my wife, it adds mild tingling and it is supposed to make your nerves more sensitive. It claims to be clinically proven to help women's desire. We are still learning how to use it but I can say the first time we tried it I liked it. I would suggest trying it on your own first, apply as instructed and see how it makes you feel...If a vibrator helps I would go for it, I would gladly watch or lick or what ever my wife wanted for her to get off.

    There is also a prescription pill available but it was very controversial as to its effectiveness and it has a lot of side effects.
     
  3. acole

    acole Member

    Thank you!! I will try that
     
  4. alexsandro

    alexsandro Member

    Maybe problem is in your boyfriend? He just can not give it for you
     
  5. acole

    acole Member

    It’s not him because none of my partners have been able to and he has always been able to for all of his partners
     
  6. alexsandro

    alexsandro Member

    ohh... i do not know what to do in such case
     
  7. Deidre

    Deidre Senior Member

    Maybe a small glass of wine to totally relax. Sex is just as much a mental thing as it is physical. Maybe more so. There's something that keeps you from going over the edge, and it's causing you to tense up. Wine might help, but maybe on your own, reflect what it is that's causing this. If you've experienced this with other guys, then it's worth trying to get to the bottom of it.
     
    acole and Deejay88 like this.
  8. acole

    acole Member

    Does anyone have tips to help relax and clear my mind? Wine definitely helps and makes it more enjoyable but still doesn’t make me reach that point
     
  9. What exactly is it that you do to yourself to get to orgasm? Tell your partner this or better yet show him. Instruct him as you experiment. Relax, by all means relax. It is all mental with him and until you can release the anxiety over not being orgasmic with him you won't.
     
  10. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

    Some women rarely or never climax from PIV.
     
  11. HornyJules

    HornyJules Member

    I have this problem too, but after many, many years of marriage I finally started using my vibe with hubby and have come much more frequently with him. We generally have to position ourselves somewhat in the shape of a T, maybe more angled, but I am on my back with one leg kind of over his hip or sometimes I just hold it up. He is on his side and this gives me full access to use my vibe on my clit. I take a long time with vibe, so he has to go slow for me to get there with him in me.
     
    Deejay88, acole and Micheal9 like this.

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