Need help making love to Wife

Hello, I just registered as I need help.

I'm a guy in his 50's who's happily married and I'm really having a lot of trouble making love to my wife, I get rock hard when we have foreplay but when I'm inside her I lose my erection within 10-15 strokes and I'm not sure what to do.

We have sex normally 2-3 times a week but it's becoming a real problem now due to me losing it.
I'll be honest here and I do watch porn on my own and use my hand, when I'm using my hand I am very hard from the start to the end, so I figure this isn't a medical issue, I'm able to hold an erection, just not when I'm inside my wife.

This stresses me a lot as I love her deeply and want to please her and take her to orgasm (which I've since been using my hand/mouth to)

What can I do to stay hard inside her? Thanks for any help!

 

Not kidding here, less porn and hand
Does she do things to give you foreplay? Looks like she does from your post.
Concentrate on how you feel good inside her, just a little selfishness, slow down or stop a little bit if you feel like getting close, the start of the tingling.
Maybe someone else will give you better advice, that’s mine here.

Something else: do you usually orgasm with your wife?

 

Yes I feel you're right I need to stop and that's fine. I'm just concerned that it won't fix it.
and yes until this issue we always both came, me inside her.

 

Hate to say this. That's how my ED problem started. Have you tried different positions or tried new things. Maybe take a weekend getaway to somewhere new

 

It ended when you stopped?

 

When I started going soft during penetrator, it was the start of my not getting it up without the blue pill

 

I see nothing wrong with asking for a little help. Maybe you could invite a friend, or toys, try new things.

 

Not sure what toys would help tbh. I don't think she'd approve of me getting a sex doll. lol!
as inviting a friend, as sad as it sounds, we have none (not that it's something she'd ever consider anyway)

 

Make her your sex doll. As for toys any vibrator or dildo, you might want to start small. Erotic massage, weekend getaway. Try something different, it's not hard to get stuck in a rut. Keep the home fire burning.
As far as inviting others into the bedroom, I know several men, whose wife surprised them when given the opportunity.

 

:-(…sounds like a need to have a honest conversation! Communication is key!

 

It sounds like your having a sensation issue when your inside her so your going soft.
Happens with men in their 50s.
You could try getting some lotion that heats up when your having sex that may help increase the sensation and keep you hard. A little lubrication can help.
If still no luck you may want to see a Urologist for recommendations.

it happens to the best of us but there are options that can help.

 

How long have you been together?

It could be that sex with her just doesn't excite you anymore.

How many times can you have vanilla sex with somebody before it just gets boring?

Never played with toys?

To what extent have you gotten adventursome?

You gotta try something daring or adventursome. Go to a nude beach, when I watch men check out my wife while she's nude that's a total turn on. Makes me want to have sex with her right then.
Making home made porn, another turn on. Sex outdoors, sex in a car, sex in front of someone or others, you've got to use your imagination and don't be afraid to ask. Some times you have to be a little pushy to get her and yourself out of her comfort zone. Maybe don't ask just set up a situation and surprise her.
Sometimes it takes balls to Keep em squirting.
The longer you wait the softer it gets.
Best of luck.

 

How many times can you have vanilla sex with somebody before it just gets boring?

Vanilla sex....I think I'd rather do a load by hand, than use that same-o, same--o washing machine! But that's just moi. However, that is exactly what drove me to find a suck buddy! Now, I have 2. A lovely Thai hottie, with chocolate labia, and....a fellow from Holland.

 

Been together 36 years.
I don't think it doesn't excite me, if that was the case I wouldn't get hard when we start having foreplay.
toys, well just a couple of vibrators for her, that's it really.
nude beach hell no. haha!

Thanks anyway

 

I'll look for that, thanks.

 

Goddamn porn. I mean, it can be okay, per se, but it sets two traps.

Uno--you can tailor your porn to find exactly your preferred body type and preferred looks; tailor it to display your preferred sexual acts (a lot of which the average human can't do); it's always available instantly, on demand; and it portrays highly-scripted, improbable/impossible sex acts. Then, sonuvabitch, that's not you and your wife. Inside, even if subconsciously, you're disappointed and pressured.

Dos--most men settle into a standard routine when they masturbate. Typically, that's to grab their dick with a death grip, and stroke like high-speed jackhammers. Too much of that habituated your body to cum THAT WAY. Then, sonuvabitch, your wife's pussy can't duplicate that for you.

So, masturbate less and vary your technique if you do.

And, introduce more erotic energy into your sex with her--toys, sharing fantasies, new and more exotic locations. More foreplay for both of you, and keep some of that foreplay going while you fuck.

Focus less on PIV sex, and let oral or manual sex supply the orgasms.

Do not expect overnght success. This is a process, not a one-night reboot.

And go easy on yourself at those inevitable times when it fails.

Good luck.

Aw, hell, luck has nothing to do with it.

Work at it, Grasshopper.