Need help improving my appearance.

I hate being Black girl…it’s a curse. Black girls are deemed the least desirable and least attractive race. Mixed, White, Asian, Latina and Indian girls are usually prettier than Black girls since they have lighter colored skin, nicer facial features and better more manageable hair. I would have been happy if I was born any other race or was at least mixed so I could have had a better chance at looking decent. Black female features are considered unfeminine many people even say that they look men. I always hear people say that, “It’s hard to find a pretty Black girl…she usually has to be mixed to be pretty”. I am so jealous of those Mixed, White, Asian, Latina and Indian girls cause of their better looks and better hair. But since I have to live in this body I want to make myself look as less Black as possible. I have full lips (that are not huge), medium sized nose, brown skin, and coarse/kinky hair – overall I can only fix 2 out of the 4 problems. I plan to lighten my skin and get a weave. I want to lighten my skin simply because it is too dark…well it’s brown but I consider it dark. Dark skin is considered a masculine trait which is why both dark and light skin guys are desired. I know that White girls like to tan to get darker but their goal is to get nice light brown skin nobody wants dark brown skin. Also I want to get a weave because as you all know being Black my hair is coarse/kinky and a nightmare to look at and deal with. Full Black hair is a big turn off to people they always prefer mixed Black hair.
In this world light skin is prettier than dark skin, delicate facial features are prettier than huge/broad facial features, and straight/curly hair is prettier than coarse/kinky hair – that’s just the way it is. Of course not everybody thinks this way but a vast majority of people do. This is why majority of guys even go for light skinned girls who are White, Asian, Latina, Indian or mixed. Many Black guys also choose these girls over Black girls simply because they are generally better looking. There are only few guys that actually like Black girls and those guys are hard to find. I really wish I was one of those pretty light skinned girls so damn bad. I am horrified and hurt that I was born this way. People have always told me to “love myself as I am” which drives me crazy especially when the person who says it is some other race. Maybe it’s easy for them to love themselves but they have no idea how it feels to live being Black. I was bullied all through elementary, middle and high school because of my hair and skin. Also any guy I liked made it perfectly clear that they only wanted the light skinned girls not me. Because of this I developed depression and anxiety issues. I know I got super unlucky being born just Black but I am going to do all that I can to improve my looks. Do you know any good safe skin lightening creams? Do you know any other ideas on how I can improve my appearance?

 

Work on your self-esteem and self-image with some proud black women. You're going about this all wrong.

 

sienna,skin colour is nothing.beauty is in the eye of the beholder, dont put yourself down, i bet you are beautifulxx

 

Beauty has very little to do with your outward appearance. Self confidence is what makes you beautiful. I think anybody that is confident can rock any style. Own your natural beauty. Come to terms with your skin color and all of those other traits. It doesn't matter what most men or society consider attractive. It only matters what the right man thinks. When you find him he will love you for all of your natural traits. Own that skin, girl. Work on your inside and the outward beauty will shine.

 

I think black women are hot

To be honest, I think women of most races are hot lol

I really wouldn't worry about it...

 

I think this is a troll. But just in case it's not. You are all wrong sweetheart. This is your perspective, I can see how it is perpetuated in pop culture, but it is still perspective.

As a black woman I've never had a problem attracting anyone I wanted. It's all about self esteem and self worth. That's what men and people in general are attracted to.

To improve my own self esteem in my late teens I completely stopped all of the grooming that black girls/women are "supposed'' to do in order to appear to be more attractive or fit into someone else's standards of beauty.

I've always thought that dark skin is beautiful, my skin isn't as dark as I wanted it to be, but I am over that now. As for the hair, I stopped straightening my hair and that was one of the most powerful things I ever did. It was a practice in self-love. First of all you have to stop thinking of yourself as an object of desire. It's not your job to appear to be attractive to anyone else. You gotta love yourself. No one is going to love you for your looks, no matter how light your skin or hair is. Trust me. Someone might use you for those purposes, but not love you.

After that I stopped wearing all make-up, stopped shaving, stopped dressing trendy or paying attention to styles. You know I started loving myself and stopped attaching my identity to my appearance. At that point people started to notice me, I started getting more compliments and quality men approaching me. Not just the kind who are so stupid they don't see what you really look like, just that you fit the standard and will go after every single girl who looks trendy.

Again I think this is a troll because there is no such thing as full black hair, there are so many different textures of "black" hair. For one thing it's much healthier and the only people I know who don't like black hair are usually black women who are just afraid of accepting that this part of them is actually beautiful and fine just the way it is. It's not hard to figure out how to care for your natural hair texture or you could go to natural hair salons, easy.

Lastly I don't think there is really anyway to lighten your skin. There are skin lightening creams out there but they are just a marketing ploy. It doesn't work.

 

You not only showed a sharp Self-hatred, but also mentioned depression and anxiety issues...ever been to therapy before?

If not, please consider it. Learning to build your Self-acceptance is the best thing you can do to free yourself. I mean, despite what you now believe, there are others, real people who would die to have a chance with you.

 

I agree this smells like a troll post. Skin lightening and weave? C'mon now. Black chicks are naturally hot and I prefer when they dread their and let it grow long.

 

Attraction is a Personal thing - You may have made assumptions of what people may think of you - But, Beauty in the eye of the beholder.

Sometimes, Self-Esteem is difficult to take to heart, when it's yourself that is the subject, but take Heart from all the positive comments that have made and "Learn to Love yourself, it is the Greatest Love of all"

 

Exactly. Change your surroundings, not yourself.

 

You can make yourself beautiful from the inside out. Your smile, your sparkle, your glow, your mind can dazzle anyone. Don't worry about the fellas. They can give anyone a headache regardless of ethnicity. Plenty of time for them. You have the opportunity to develop yourself from inside out and perhaps aim to help others do the same. Hurray for that. Can add that my features were never great but I refused to undergo any nonsense to change anything. Did have my shape, was always good in gym and always enjoyed dressing neatly and attractively. You write beautifully, so glad you posted.
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Pardon? Shaving where?

 

A smile that lights your eyes and a confident carriage are what catch my eye first about a woman. As to skin color, one of the most beautiful women I've ever met is black as polished jet from Cameroon. Love yourself, if you don't who can?

 

OP, your perspective is severely skewed. What is considered by pop culture to be "pretty and sexy", really only a small percentage of white people fit in this bracket. And even if you are lucky enough to be considered "pretty and sexy" it is still a very temporary condition. Most "sexy" 20 year olds will be "fat and gross" by 30. Really you're miserable and obsessed over what? 10% of the population? So what, you are the least attractive MAJORITY of the sexiest, smartest animals in the known universe!

On top of all that even a perfect ten gets boring quick. I guarantee you any normal man who gets his dream woman "10", is bored and jacking to pictures of 6's and 7's within months. There's another post from a guy suicidal over loosing his hair at 19. You two should be forced to hook up with each other until you get over yourselves.

 

Moth man, what deity is that?

 

I absolutely love it when black girls let their hair grow naturally. I don't really get the obsession with relaxers. I also think dark skin is very beautiful.

 

I agree.

Whites and Asians are hotter.

>>

 

Awwwwwhhhh...poor girl was made to feel inferior somewhere.....That is a shame...Some of the most beautiful women in the world can be and have been black....and I love most of the confident one's attitudes....What fun and joy.