need advice!

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by puffie, Jan 20, 2005.

  1. puffie

    puffie Member

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    I'm not being beaten, or anything, but I'm in a horrible relationship and I need to get out of it. I know it sounds pathetic, he's pretty much got me convinced that I'm a horrible shitty person. I know I shouldn't think that, and I know I shouldn't believe it all, but I do. I wanna leave, but anytime I've tried to make him leave before he never does, or he comes back, and I'm too much of a wimp to do anything about it.

    If any of you ladies could please give me a little advice, I'd be forever grateful to you. I have no family I can go to, and I'm broke at this point in time. Is there anywhere I can go to get help, or anything like that? I can't make it on my own, not a first anyway, and I'd like to have some sort of support system to help me get back on my feet. I know someone out there has to have gone through this at some point, and I'd like to know how you managed to get out of it.

  2. DancerAnnie

    DancerAnnie Resident Beach Bum

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    Do you have any friends? Friends are a great source of support.

    Although, chances are you don't...I know I've been in the exact same situation as the abuse..and he pulled me away from all my friends.

    I just left...lived out of my car for awhile...not sure how that'd work out with a child though...what a tough situation.

    Wish I could help...

    My sincerest regards...if I can help out...just say the word.
  3. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

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    Battered women's shelter? YWCA? Hell, even friends should be willing to put you up for a few nights until you can get back on your feet again.

    If you're working, that can be a huge help for getting on your own again. If you aren't leaving tomorrow, set up your own bank account that he cannot touch and does not know about, so that you can have a modicum of independence.

    I must admit, I haven't been in that sort of a situation myself, so anything I might know/offer is second hand. But you are a fabulous gal, do even have realized that this isn't a good situation for you. Remember the supercool chick you are, not whatever the fuck this loser may think of you. Everyone has opinions, but they aren't fact.
  4. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

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    where do you live? I might be able to do some research and see if anyone could help you out.

    if you have a child you can most definately go to a woman's shelter or the YWCA. Remember- just because he doesn't hit you doesn't mean he's not abusing you. It sounds likehe verbally and emotionally abuses you. Manipulation is one of the most horrid kinds of abuse. Let me know if there's anything I could do to help you. Someone out there will help you get back on your feet, tell you that you are a great person and help you live the life you deserve.
  5. Myranya

    Myranya Slytherin Girl

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    Just do it! Yes you can! I know, you've heard it sooooo often but often you have to hear it a thousand times... every time you hear it it adds a little to your resolve and it'll undo a little of his remarks that you can not... until in the end, you do it... So here's my 'just do it'! Go for it girl!
  6. velvet

    velvet Banned

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    You don't have to get up and go right now.. make good preparations.. get a list of addresses, phonenumbers, pack a bag with necessary stuff (ID card, insurance stuff, some money, maybe some food) and put it somewhere where he won't find it.. so then, when you've gathered enough strength, you can just get the back and walk out of that door!.. Good preperation will save you a lot of time and worries later. Also, when you have a kid and he isn't physically abusing you, he can make your life miserable by fighting for custody. Try to get some proof of the fact that he is verbally and emotionally abusing you.. maybe record some conversations if that's possible.. or start writing stuff down in a dairy for later references.. it would be ideal if you could get something on paper that could be used against him later on.

    You have to choose for yourself and your kid.. all the best of luck to you! *hug*

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