Need advice

Discussion in 'True Love' started by Girlcurious, Jun 14, 2021.

  1. Just for fun

    Just for fun Live your best life

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    Thanks
    Thanks for asking. I didn't advance relationship wise because what I said in that booth was the truth. I have always felt strongly that relationships were all about the atmosphere you enjoy. Your atmosphere is your comfort zone. It seemed she and I liked the same things so we got along just fine in all aspects. I never wanted children ever, ever, ever but I had a son that at the time was about 10 years old and lived with baby mamma.

    This girl was about 15 years younger than me and she never had kids and the hormone thing was telling her she needed kids. I had a vascectomy by then so there would never be another mistake or trick by another fuck friend.

    The reason I laid down the rules in that booth was because I have been in those situations many times before and the girl seems always to have expectations and I hate hurting their feelings. So the best way is the honest way.

    I guess what we did was what we both needed at the time. So if I had advice for you, the best is be honest with what you want and what you expect and tell each other and even write it down for future reference so there won't be any hurt feelings in the future.
     
    curiousbear likes this.
  2. Girlcurious

    Girlcurious Members

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    So im good enough to be “casual” with but not date .. okay

    that shit hurts.

    i think i will back off a bit .. im usually the one reaching out to him and i dont want to make him think anything negative about that.. so i’ll let it be

    ugh why do i always like the unavailable ones? Makes me so disappointed. I see a great lover in him. Both emotionally and physically but he just doesnt want it.. not the emotional anyway
     
    Captain Scarlet likes this.
  3. Captain Scarlet

    Captain Scarlet Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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    I think you are right to back off . Well right for you as you dont want to risk getting emotionally attached to someone who for me clearly just wants you in the friend zone.

    You have to carry on with you life and not place it on hold.
     
  4. footballalways

    footballalways Banned

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    It’s his loss and you have to look at it that way
    You are the one that needs to hold all the cards
     
    Captain Scarlet likes this.
  5. newbie-one

    newbie-one one with the newbiverse

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    Do you want to say more about why?
     
  6. Girlcurious

    Girlcurious Members

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    because i cant find a guy to even date, let alone get married to. And im not getting any younger
     
  7. newbie-one

    newbie-one one with the newbiverse

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    Hugs
     
  8. TrudginAcrossTheTundra

    TrudginAcrossTheTundra Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Ya gotta ask yerself, what is it that you want out of life? It sounds like you've come to the realization that you'd like to get married and have a family. Makes sense. So if that's the case then act toward it. Don't waste time hanging out with a casual friend or whatever if that's not where you want to be. It's a whole different strategy looking to get laid than it is to find a respectable lifelong partner who'll provide for you and your kids and be a good father. So when you're "interviewing" guys, ask what they want, make them clarify, don't be wondering what they mean, tell them what you want, and remain assertive while being kind and understanding. If they're looking for something else, or are wishy washy, tell em ya gotta go. Network with people, more contacts means a higher probability of coming across hopeful prospects sooner.

    From what I'm reading, if you were looking to get laid then you would have with this guy. But it's a conundrum. You might meet a guy you'd like to lay but know he's not long term material. Get what you want and move on. If he's marriage material, leave something for the honeymoon. If he's neither, move on. But don't be misled thinking that by holding off he'll suddenly become a prince and see you as a princess. It doesn't work that way. The biggest thing in forming a lifelong bond is trust. You want someone trustworthy and you want to be trustworthy yourself. Yet be careful about people who are good at putting on an act. Be crafty about getting to know who they are. Meet their parents, siblings, and friends soon so you can see where they're coming from and what kind of respect they give and get with their loved ones.

    There's an aspect of gambling to it, but you have the chance to gamble smartly.
     
  9. Deidre

    Deidre Follow thy heart

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    Don’t settle or compromise your own values. No one person should “hold all the cards,” even if it’s casual. Being on the same page is important even if he isn’t looking for something serious. I wish you luck but be careful.
     
    curiousbear likes this.
  10. Desera_xoxo

    Desera_xoxo Members

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    Its been my experience that Men/Women who say things like "lets keep it casual" or " lets go with the flow" usually have no intention of anything long term. What do you want? If its long term than make that known and if he cant reciprocate, cut him lose. Knowing what you want and not settling for less will always cut out people who are not on your level. Best of luck!
     
    Captain Scarlet and Romper like this.
  11. PGA

    PGA Members

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    When a guy says I don't marry and I don't like to have kids or a family، just to be friends and have sex, it is an agreement nothing more!!!
    It is so clear, this guy is interested in you just for having sex, but you are looking for family life, so forget about him and look for some other guy who thinks like you.
     

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