Need Advice

Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by TheDoorsOfPerception, May 23, 2004.

  1. TheDoorsOfPerception

    TheDoorsOfPerception Member

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    My sister passed away last year and I seem to be super depressed.. and its been about nine months. Should I be over it already?

    Any tips on getting over depression and such?
     
  2. lace_and_feet

    lace_and_feet Super Member

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    Nine months is awfully quick to be over a loved one's death. Mourning time varies from person to person, though. You must be positive and keep looking forward to the future. Also, exercise. Every day if possible. There's no better way to improve mental and physical health simultaneously, in my opinion.
     
  3. TheDoorsOfPerception

    TheDoorsOfPerception Member

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  4. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    check into grief support groups. My brother died seven years ago and it still sometimes floors me. I have an online buddy to vent with.

    Could help you.
    If you are in a true depression, losing your sis could have been the main event that brought it on. seek a counseling sort, pro or not, and see if it helps to talk.
     
  5. cutelildeadbear

    cutelildeadbear Hip Forums Gym Rat

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    Doors,

    I'm sorry to hear about your sister. I don't think that there is a definite timeframe to worry about, take as long as you need. Some people take years and years. A support group could help. Don't worry about having to get over it though, you never get over it.

    If however you feel more depressed than you think you should (ie, it effects everyday life so that you can't function properly) then maybe talk with your doctor.

    Exercise/heathy diet, sunshine and good friends helped me with depression years ago.
     
  6. TheDoorsOfPerception

    TheDoorsOfPerception Member

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    Well, see she committed suicide on September 22, 2003 and I can't seem to escape that day. My mind keeps walking through that day, like I'm forever stuck in it.

    It's like every song, movie, book, I see/hear reminds me of her.

    In my heart I know she's gone, but in my mind its still not registering yet. I've seen her in the casket, watch her being buried, and I visit her grave.. but its still like she's up in Atlanta working and she's coming to visit me soon..

    I even tried to call her.... but I knew that she wouldn't be there to pick it up.


    ahh, sorry guys...:(
     
  7. sweatininthesouth

    sweatininthesouth Member

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    Oh Doors, I'm so sorry. It breaks my heart to read your posts... Losing a loved one is the most difficult pain to overcome, but to lose someone through a suicide makes the pain even worse. The only thing that will help you is time, Nine months is very, very quick to get over the pain of losing your sister. If you have alot of unanswered questions about her reasoning for suicide, you really need to seek out some help....talk to a counselor, or someone who can help you through this.

    I lost my dad 7 years ago and I still grieve for him. It took me probably 3 years to stop crying about him, wanting to say just a few more words to him, tell him I loved him. I felt like I was a bit insane for a few years after losing him (we had not spoken for a year before he died and I felt horrible...).

    Please get some kind of help -- grief counseling. It would really help to talk to someone, cry with them, scream, yell, be angry, sad -- just get it all out, with someone's help......good luck to you.....
     
  8. TheDoorsOfPerception

    TheDoorsOfPerception Member

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    oh thanks.


    I see that you are from Atlanta. My sister was living in Gwinnet.
     
  9. Josh-e

    Josh-e Member

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    Doors, sounds like you are like myself in some ways, I lost my dad last year but I am uncontrolably drawn to the past, especially where I'm living now because his memorys are still so fresh, so I am moving home for a new start.

    Perhaps some tips on how to overcome living that day your sister died, try medatation (just look it up on the net) as that is great for making your mind stronger and more focused, you need to be looking to the future. Another thing, try picturing your sister in a sunny garden, where she is smiling, happy and at peace, whenever you think of your sister think of her in that sunny garden, it might help you a bit, hopefully it should help you to let go of her and the past, and move on. Sadly thats a part of death is having to let go, it's very hard.
     
  10. sweatininthesouth

    sweatininthesouth Member

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    Yup, I'm here in Hotlanta....

    Was your sister older than you? Just wondering because I have an older sister whom I'm very close to....she lives in Colorado and I miss her very much.

    Are there people you're close to (relatives, friends) who you can talk to openly about how you feel? I hope you have a good support system around you...

    One thing that has always worked for me when I was depressed, stressed, unhappy, is yoga.....really good mind and body stretching yoga....and like josh-e said, meditation.....especially meditation while doing yoga is fantastic....the times I've done yoga, it has completely ridded my body and mind of alot of shit....maybe only temporarily, but enough to feel sane again for a while....it will melt away some of your pain, I'll bet, at least for a little while....
     
  11. TheDoorsOfPerception

    TheDoorsOfPerception Member

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    its hard for my family to talk about it, so I just hold it in.
     
  12. Josh-e

    Josh-e Member

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    thats bad, certainly for your health in the long run, you need to find someone to talk about it with.
     
  13. Applespark

    Applespark Ingredients:*Sugar*

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    YOu need to get some counceling. The sooner you deal with the real issues at hand the sooner you can move on with your life. I feel for you. My mom has attemted suicide over 12 times. I can't imagine if it really happened. Hang in there and get some counceling.
     
  14. TheDoorsOfPerception

    TheDoorsOfPerception Member

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    Well, my mom has attempted suicide too. She was the one originally with the gun. but when my sister found out ..she took the gun so my mom wouldn't do anything. Little did we know that she'd be using it.. not my mom.

    Everytime I'm driving down the road I think of her. I can't stop crying. You know...its like I'm constantly stuck in this black hole of depression.
     
  15. FunkyPhreshMama

    FunkyPhreshMama Visitor

    i am so sorry to hear this. your posts almost made me cry, specially the part about calling her..............my grandpa passed away about the same time as your sister, he was like a dad to me and my little girl, always took care of us and all, it has gotten easier but my little girl still cries about missing him. i hope things start looking up for you but i don't think it is odd to still be sad, sometimes it takes years and years and sometimes you never get over it, just try to remember all the good times you had together...................
     
  16. Eden

    Eden Member

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    i lost my uncle in feb of 2003, i still miss him and dream about him all the time.he was also just like my dad. he died at home, he lived with us, peacefully...but i still think about him and cry and get depressed. it's normal. i'm so sorry about your sister. its a hard situation for anyone to go through, and you're still so young. if you ever need to talk drop me a message. my friends brother killed himself around the same time my uncle died. suicide is the worst because it leaves so many unanswered questions. just know shes in a better place, and watching over you.
     
  17. Hipkatmeow

    Hipkatmeow Member

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    Hunny I know how you feel. My brother commited suicide two years ago and I still havent realized athat hes gone... its like hes still away at school. I even sent him an email the other day and didnt realize that he was gone until after I pressed send... THe only thing I can tell you to do is to take it one day at a time and live momemnt by moment in each day and see a counseler it works!
     

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