Need advice on pursuing nudism with wife

After decades of marriage, my wife and I visited our first Au Natural (AN) beach a few years ago. I’m definitely an exhibitionist in the sense that I love to be looked at when at a nude beach or resort. My wife would tell you she is the opposite. She insists that her body is for only her husband to see…..and yet it’s been seen fully by hundreds at the resorts we’ve gone to a few times that have an AN section and at a club we’ve visited. So that kitty (pun intended) is long ago out of the bag. She is adamant that she is not turned on by such activity and only does it because I want it and hopes my interest is satisfied one day.

And yet….she has definitely been flattered by looks she has received (particularly once by a well endowed guy)…..and she is usually wanting to F*** afterward. Months later when we’re getting intimate, if I talk about her being nude and seen by others, she definitely gets wet! But even then she’ll say she is Never turned on by being seen nor even considers it erotic!?!

Many decades ago she was my virgin bride and was raised w ultra conservative/prudish ideas about sex.

She leaves me very confused….the “good girl” wants to never be seen naked by strangers again. But afterwards certainly has at times been turned on.

I’m unsure as to whether to :
1) continue going to resorts with AN or visiting nudist clubs with the idea that she secretly likes it but can NEVER let the good girl in her admit it.
Or
2) conclude I have a loving wife who is prudish but willing to sin (possibly in her mind, not mine) to please her husband. In this case it seems like I should stop suggesting going to AN places and just go back to watching places like this on the internet and fantasizing.

Losing the Au Natural thing is huge for me….but so is my love of my wife and the importance I place on her feelings.

I would love to hear from forum members…..what is your take on this?????

 

Patrick 1000, I can relate with most everything you have written. My wife was raised in a very strict, conservative, religious manner and she was a virgin when we married. She, also, thinks her nudity is for my eyes only and mine for her eyes only. She has never tried public nudity and has said she never will.

When I first told her about my love for simple non-sexual nudity she never had positive thoughts towards it. Although early on she did let me go to a nudist resort and a CO beach. Now, she does not want me nude around other people.

My wife has also told me that nudity doesn’t turn her on. My consistent.response has been it’s not about sex it’s about experiencing nature as God originally intended for people to live. I understand the sexual component to nudity and I enjoy sex very much, but they are two separate pleasures.

If your wife thinks your interest in nudity is mostly sexual and if it is then you have to overcome her rightful moral objections. I don’t recommend you try and lead her down that path.

If your desire to involve her in nudity is non-sexual then you have to convince her of your motives. However, if you have sexual sin in your past like cheating or pornography you will have a very difficult time overcoming coming her objections.

If your motives are pure all you can do is talk to her and explain why you enjoy nudity. If she doesn’t object demonstrate your non-sexual nudity to her or have her read articles on nudism or watch videos of non-sexual nudity.

If after you have done all you can do and she still wants no part of it, then ask what she is willing to let you enjoy alone. Sadly, my wife is a total reluctant spouse toward nudity. Fortunately, I live in the country and I have opportunities to enjoy nudity alone. Hope you don’t have to settle for solo nudity, but if you do, I know from personal experience there is much enjoyment being nude alone.

 

thank you for the thoughtful answer! Neither cheating nor porn has been a problem for either of us. I will see what this spring brings as far as her feelings towards nudity. While I enjoy nudity…I certainly love her more. I furthermore really appreciate her giving it a try. (Hopefullly more times to come)

 

My wife is exactly like yours (#2) she does not like to go to nudist resorts with me but because we love each other she willing goes.
Also like you I would never choose nudism over her. She will always remain number one to me.

 

So my wife and I have visited several hot springs and beaches in the West where nudity is the norm. She really enjoyed those times. A few years back we visited a resort in Jamaica that feature a clothing prohibited beach as well as swimsuit area. One night we went for a walk with a large group of people and went by a pool that had several people stripping and I wondered if my wife would be offended. As I turned to look at my wife all I saw was a pile of her clothes and heard her squeals of delight as jumped into the pool! Given the right social situation any feared reluctance might become a nonissue.

 

I’ve been to what sounds like the resort in Jamaica. Many good memories from our visits. We are not late night people but I’ve heard groups of people do a little late night skinny dipping in what would be textile areas. I would love to see my wife get comfortable enough to strip down for a group skinny dip or with friends in a home pool/hot tub.
Yes I find my wife’s public nudity erotic (as well as my nudity and seeing others). But overwhelmingly, I would say I love being able to say “f*** society rules!”
I’ve always been a rule follower and so has my wife. It is amazingly freeing

 

I hope this is of some value. If it crashes and burns...

I was raised in a very "conservative" and religious home. My parents were not nudists. But neither was the human body shameful. Nudity was accepted as part of normal family life, especially for my dad brother and me. No girls. So I was free to exore my enjoyment of casual nudity around the house, on camping trips, and the like.

This may shock some, but God is not ashamed of our bodies- He created them. Nudity, in the proper time and place, is actually God pleasing. Explore this at these locations: Garden of Eden Church and MyChainsAreBroken. If you can slowly debunk the idea that our bodies are shameful, you can gradually remove the unfounded inhibitions to recreational nudity, in a married sexual context or a much less sexual social one. I said much less sexual not non sexual because appreciation of a beautiful person is not the same as lusting for them. Understand that difference and the rest will take care of itself.

 

Sounds like your wife is (reluctantly) willing to go. You're just not on the same page as to "why."

My advice would simply be to "work within her boundaries." If she would prefer a more "private" experience, just find a C/O resort large enough to spend time alone. Set up a nice picnic away from other people and just enjoy each other's company. That's what I did with my wife on her first trip to a nudist resort.

From there, just let things evolve organically. It's not like your wife has never been socially nude. At the beginning, my wife pretty much had the same mindset after going to the nude beach. "I'm only doing this for you! I don't even like it!!" We actually quit nudism for a couple of years. So I recalibrated and took her to a family-oriented C/O resort because I realized the crowded nude beach scene wasn't for her. We went off on our own to the other side of the pool area for privacy. Seeing that I cared about her comfort level, setting my need for social interaction aside, and the low-key environment we were in - all led to her being more relaxed. Being more relaxed led her to feeling that nudity could be enjoyable. She was the one - without any pressure on my end - who decided to get naked and go enjoy the hot-tub. Since she is naturally very social, that led to socialization with other nudists, which then led her to being ok being seen naked by them - and not feel conflicted by it. So in the end I still got my needs met.

My advice for what it's worth.

 

In the operetta Die Fledermaus, their is a line that translates to, "Its nice to have a wife in the house, as long as she's not your own".

 

Well, Patrick1000, you've gotten farther than I have with your wife. Mine will participate in skinny dipping in our pool, but she's generally not interested in being as a casual thing.

The only advice I can suggest (and remember you've made more progress than me, so take it or leave it as you wish), is that you keep the nudism separated from sex. You suggested that your wife was very turned on after some nude experiences. Perhaps the issue is that you and her are associating the nudity with sex. Rather than talking about when she was exposed while you are getting intimate, consider nonsexual benefits of nudity that you two experienced. For example, next time you go to a clothed pool or beach, comment on how nice it was at the nude beach to not have to wear a wet swimsuit around, or the fun of getting an all over tan, etc.

 

Haha, I just realized my first sentence sounded weird. I mean to say "You've gotten farther with nudism with your wife than I have with mine."

 

My wife was not too interested at first also. Try doing some things she likes that you are not really into. (ie) shopping or house cleaning or visiting her mother. Don’t expect instant results. Another that worked for me was in the evening sitting watching tv in your underwear, soon after she started watching tv in her underwear. Above all stay patient.

 

I was rather lucky, my wife started our relationship with announcing that she always slept naked and felt clothes did not belong in bed. I was 100% in agreement, but new to ALWAYS sleeping naked. Now I cannot figure out why. Anyways, but neither of us had ever done social nudity. Within a year we spent a week at Hedo Negril and there was no turning back. We since have been to every beach/club/resorts all over the us and some even in Portugal/Spain/Italy. It is hard to put that back in the box so to speak.

 

Great story only my story is reverse. Went I started dating my second and current wife I informed her I always sleep naked. She agreed to try it, now we go 3/4 times a year to nude resorts.

 

My suggestion for you…assuming you would like to experience social nudity…is to build on what you’ve done. In addition to skinny dipping in your pool, have other nude activities. You and your spouse might exercise at home nude. You might try sleeping nude. Both of these have the benefits of less laundry. After a skinny dipping session, try enjoying the rest of a day at home nude. Work on nudity feeling more natural. After some time of this, plan on a beach vacation that has an a clothing optional area. Somewhere distant from where you live so as to get her in the mindset of “I can do whatever since I’m on vacation and no one knows me!”.
Just a few years back, I never could have imagined my wife and me being on a nude beach. What I described above is path we took towards nudism. It wasn’t a strategy on my part. It happened naturally. For example, sleeping nude was her idea. I understand your wife is reluctant to others seeeing her naked. My wife has always been *very* conservative in her outfits and would never wear a two piece swim suit as they are “too revealing.”