Need Advice About A Straight Guy

Tonight, I'm going out with a guy friend and a girl friend. The guy friend is giving me a ride, so it'll be just him and I in the car. He's straight and doesn't know I'm gay, but he might suspect it.

He gets drunk a lot, and last night he texted me (about us going out tonight), "not saying I wouldn't take a bj. Jk. But for realz. But jk...maybe." To which I just responded, "only if you ask nicely, you gotta be polite about it." We're sarcastic with each other a lot. The conversation didn't continue in that direction. He's been depressed lately, girl problems, and he's made one other reference to this before: one time I offered him a tissue, jokingly, and he said he'd prefer a sympathy blowjob, also joking.

Anyway, I guess I was hoping for advice on where I should take things from here. I can't tell if he's joking about the bj thing, and I'd happily give him one with no strings. But how do I go about initiating that tonight? Or should I just let him be the one to initiate it?

I don't want to weird him out, because he's a friend and co-worker, and like I said, he could only be joking. We hang out at the movies a lot and get along really well, I don't want that to end because of a miscommunication.

ALSO...I've never even given a blowjob before (don't judge me). So there's that.

What should I do???

 

Ya know, if he's a true friend, you two should be able to be honest with eachother. I would suggest you say something along the lines of, "Hey man, so I don't mean to make this a weird emotional conversation, but I wanna talk to you about something. I'm gay. I hope you can accept me for who I am and we can continue to be friends."

From there forward, give it some time and then maybe talk to him about the way you two joke around and how you feel about eachother. Who knows, maybe he's interested, maybe not. Just gotta ask and find out if things aren't clear.

 

Yea, for sure, telling him the truth would be ideal. But I've already gotten into this friendship with him, that i don't wanna jeopardize. I think he'd be cool with it, but I don't know and I don't wanna take the chance of it just being freaking weird.

 

If he's a co-worker, tread lightly! If you truly value your friendship, I recommend not even going there. If he goes through an identity crisis because you gave him a bj, things could get ugly quickly. Now if he initiates something, use your best judgment and have fun!

 

One of the life's important wisdoms is to always make sure that all the players in the play get to save their faces, no matter what.

So, this seemingly str8 dude is dropping hints left, right and center. Sure, jokingly. And you are replying jokingly, too. So, both of you have an exit strategy, and all is good.

I strongly doubt that coming out to him, as suggested by some posters here would be productive. A str8 dude may or may not be too thrilled to hang out with an openly gay guy. If he is insecure about his own sexuality, your coming out may send him running for the hills.... The notion that well, yeah, you are a gay guy, so you go around giving str8 dudes consolation BJs when they have GF problems won't do much for you either.

Try to raise the bets a bit here. If he wants a BJ, he'll have to do something for it, too. If it is for free, it is worthless. If he agrees to doing his bit, you'll see the lay of the land ahead a bit clearer, won't you?

KD

 

This is probably pretty solid advice.

 

I feel like I should give an update.

We ended up not going out that night due to work obligations the next day. So it's supposedly been postponed until some other night. But then he decides to go hang out with his ex girlfriend instead that same night. So maybe that entire idea of me blowing him, even though we were both "joking" around, possibly scared him off? We still talk and text daily, even when not at work, so I'm not sure. And when we're working, he sits wherever I sit, even though he gets along with other people there too--he still sticks around me.

I know you're barking up the wrong tree with a straight guy, so I should probably not read into anything as anymore than just us being friends. Thanks for the input everyone!

 

The most likely thing here is that your str8 friend sees every wisdom in keeping as many options open as possible.

You see this with his approach to his schedule management. Wow, too much work the next day... But then, chooses not to miss on his ex. And if everything fails, he can still joke or not with you about a sympathy BJ.

He also seems to understand that keeping all these options open for him requires some maintenance works. So, he hangs around you as much as he can. And, sure, he likes you, so this is not really a chore either...

But, there is a bit of a manipulatory streak in this dude. Stay friends. But watch closely for the signs of possible manipulation.

Make it a bit easier on yourself, and look for other gay guys to mess around with. Life is far too short for such games....

KD

 

If you want to blow him text him saying, "hey come pick me up I want to give you some road head, seriously"

 

So what do you think the point is of him making little insinuations towards me? I get the "keeping his options open" part but if he's just going to cancel plans or joke around about it, but never actually follow through...is it more like a challenge for him? Like trying to see if he CAN get it, but not actually wanting it? Just the thrill of the chase, that kind of thing?

Is that a normal straight guy activity, or is this sort of a rare occurance that lucky me has stumbled upon?

Anyway, I really do like him, as a friend, and I feel he likes me a lot also as a friend. I know me going down on him, even with the stipulation of no strings attached and no request from me for him to reciprocate, would probably only complicate our friendship. I don't know why it has me so curious...

 

Haha, yea I'm sure that would go over well. Even if I said it in a joking way, I'm not sure if I could pull it off to not be taken totally weird lol

 

Nah, you don't want to send that text. It could backfire. Picture him showing the text to co-workers.
If you can get him in a "controlled enviroment," your place, his place, secure and private, get him to loosen up
with booze/wine/beer. Alcohol works wonders. Make sure he drinks a lot more than you.

 

The Bill Cosby Method.

Seriously though....it sounds to me like he was joking around and just considers you a friend. I think the advice of looking for other gay dudes is pretty wise. Because what if he does actually let you give him a BJ? Then what? Will you guys still be as good of friends after that? Maybe. But it may also kind of make things a little weird for him and he may distance himself from you for a while. So I think you should weigh that in your mind and ask yourself what you want in the long run. It could go perfectly fine....but it might not. How much are you willing to sacrifice?

 

You are, of course, right. I would rather stay friends with him. But if he keeps making jokes or insinuating things...I just don't know that I could tell him no if it ever got to that point where he wants me to actually do it.

 

If he does it again, just tell him, "Look fucker, either it's on or not. Could you really handle it? Your call." There, it's totally off you, and squarely on him what happens next.

 

Haha...good advice.

I wanna go back to a question I posed above....

Why would he keep joking about it? Is it some kind of weird thing where he just wants to see if he *can* get a dude to suck him off, but doesn't actually want it to happen? Is that a normal straight guy thing to do?

 

I'm betting he wants it to happen. That's the real reason he keeps bringing it up. Nobody talks repetitively about something that they ain't interested in. That's why he 'keeps stirring the pot.' As for "normal straight guys,' find me one of them, or find yourself one of them. Ya' know, we can get hard when the wind blows.

 

Hah...yea. Oh well. Guess I should just let this idea go. In my head, we could stay great friends while me giving him head all the time. But I guess the chances of that are pretty slim.

Life would be mich easier if everyone were openly bisexual lol

 

So another update.....he hasn't made any new references to me blowing him since that night.

We still talk every day, text, all that same as always...but no new bj references. I think maybe he picked up on my willingness and got a little scared.

 

Maybe he did get scared. I'm betting he'll bring it up somehow again. Just need the right surroundings/circumstances.