Naked Lunch revisited

So butchering it, then?

 

DISCLAIMER

All postings by this author in Writers Forum describe fictitious persons and events unless a person's correct proper name is used or the piece is labelled nonfiction. Otherwise no reference is intended to any living person.

His Honour
Coming out the courthouse his Honour meet up with our little dirty grey GMC van and he happy to join us in the back still alive. We goin to have a little party in the countryside.
We drive out to Jakes place all go inside fo big party hizzonour very happy as we yank pants down, we yank pants down past hips and get ready beer pretzels sour cream and onion chips red hot poker from fire couple chicks to watch also and some wine and cheese like the hi class set. Hizzonour putting up big brave front now "You'll never get away with this" like he still got his balls attached which is not fo long.

" You still got yo balls attached which is not fo long."
"Assault is a criminal offence punishable by law."
"Yo's on D block right now bro."
"You'll never get away with this."

Red hot poker getting near hizzonours ass as he say that. We goin have good time with his honour, my honour, us honour, our sister he imprison she too, her honour, you honour, we honour, they honour as red hot poker up ass. Music to our ears your honour.​

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'Butchering' is pretty subjective, I think. If you can present a convincing argument about how it's butchering, I might agree.

 

Did you write that? Because I think it's pretty good... and I can definitely sense more resemblence to Burroughs in that than the other stuff.

You can actually feel the drunkenness!

 

I enjoyed it, too. I'm not sure of its relation to Burroughs, but if that is DD's inspiration for the story, rather than the litmus test, then why not? Reading it gives the feeling of swirling emotions ready to burst.

Just one word to anyone new who has wandered into this forum:

As you can see, we have been critical of DD's work here (even though his past work is superb), but a lot of the posts above are backed by well-explained reason.

There is an art in criticism, as much as there is in writing, but the vast majority of the people in our forum have, until recently, mostly ignored it.

If we just paste a story up that we wrote, and the only comments, if any, that we got were in the line of "That was good", and nothing else, then that positive criticism is not only utterly pointless, but it is also harmful, because it gives you a false gratification for your ego, and does not point you in the right direction of improving your art. You might as well paste your story to the lamp-post outside your home.

What that leads to is moronic ego-warriors who trample into a forum of dedicated writers and critics, telling everyone else that they are a troll, even though they have never participated in any Writers Forum activities, or offered any help to new writers, or even so much as have the courtesy to read someone else's story in here and write a line or two of commentary! These people are the human equivalent of venereal lice. They come to suck a bit of blood when they see a healthy body full of energy.

On the other hand, there are now tens of fresh new writers posting their work in here, rather than asking people to visit other forums, or selling their trinkets, books, keyrings, crystal balls, organic underwear, and bla bla. Go to the bazaar if you want to do that.

As DD has demonstrated, he has the internal strength to put his ego on hold, to listen to the criticism that has bombarded him (only because people know him a bit better now and are being more open with him) and used it to write a chapter that will appeal to a wider audience.

So if this forum is to thrive, then criticism is not just a mundane "teacher thing" that only those who can be bothered will do. Yuo all have to do it, because if you can't write a critique, then you can't write jack shit.

If you post a story in this forum, you will become a better writer by joining in the discussions, critiques, activities, or even start your own.

Now, I know that DD feels more at ease with writing the story he wants to write, so I'm curious to see where he is going with it. Good luck, mate. Take it in your chin. I think most of it is good advice, so use it to mould your story into something everyone will enjoy reading.

 

I think it's interesting in the same way it's interesting to try to play a song you don't know on guitar, and accidentally come up with a brand new song.

 

I really had you down as a thinker DD - You really showed some promise - when you write as Stephen King, do you have a different limbering up session than to when you write here? did you just come here to fuck with peoples heads in your spare time as a break from writing your suspense and horror classics?

I really used to think stephen king - erm I mean DirtyDog was an intellect but it seems that your brain is really like a duff stick of dynamite
of course writing is diferent to a fuckin photograph. show me a photo that can immediately convey the difference between porn and disclosure of information in this sense - language can say one thing and mean another !but phottographs rarely can

 

I own a copy "Music From The Unrealised Film Script Dusk At Cubist Castle" and have listened to it one and a half times.

 

Please note the DISCLAIMER I have added to some of my postings. Nothing I write is intended to defame or threaten any living person. This material is fictitious and meant to entertain (in a perverse way) only.

Ronald:
I am not Stephen King, nor am I familiar with his work. However, people keep telling me I look like him.

​

 

Which obviously gives you insight enough into the music to be able to denounce it.

Listen to it five times, then we can continue this discussion...

 

Uh, no, you need to hear it less than once to know it's awful. As a musician, I can attest that, while yes, some albums do benefit from repeated listens, those albums should at least have something to draw you into doing that. A movie that begins with half an hour of nothing might end with two hours of absolute brilliance, but if the bulk of your audience has fallen asleep before then, that means you made a bad film, not a brilliant one.

 

I am still your fan, Stephen King, no matter what everyone here says about you. Can I borrow $100?

 

separated at birth

stephen king


DIRTYDOG

 

stephen I am a massive fan of yours and didnt want to blow your cover but - wow man and to think you - an all time genius are talking to someone like SElf Control a wannabe - he should be thankin his lucky stars

 

I told you people!!!!!! I TOLD YOU!!!!!

 

It's easy to forget exactly how fucking ugly Stephen King is, isn't it.

Also, ronnie's sig picture makes less sense than ever.

 

You wish you had some balls dont you SC ???

hahaha
what I love is that you dont even say anything convincingly enough to even make a lie look like the truth and remember
all literature - all art is but a beautiful lie

 

Do you ever read what you post?

 

hahaha - did your gun lock up or are you just out of ammo ?

 

Here you go, WS. Don't tell anyone I loaned you this or they'll all be after me.

​

As for my further postings on this thread, there is a good argument to be made that my dirty dreams (along the lines of Burroughs) are disgusting, unworthy, and not deserving of print. ​

Maybe I should try writing another sweet romance along the lines of boy meets girl, and they fall in love and live happily ever after. (See "Anacapa" thread in Writers Forum). Probably no one would read it.​