Naked Lunch revisited

You flatter me, but after reading your breathtaking account of public transgressive sexual conduct, I'm less sure of my skillz.

 

I liked julian clarey when he said "If I was in charge of a firing squad, I would line up all the prisoners, and ask, right now who wants to be blown away first"

 

Yup, gays are all funny, no doubt about that.

How come you heteroids can't do proper nob gags?

 

because we're not obsessed by nobs

 

It should be written from Jesus' perspective in 3rd person.


Every paragraph would start with "I, the Jesus..."

 

great idea - to put this monumentally stupendously awesome embarrassment of a thread behind you DD just rename it to Fully Clothed Brunch

BTW you can rename threads but not after the second post I think - just try again or ask skip to rename it

otherwise it will probably be like a 70 ton lump of granite around your neck
hahahaha alternatively ask skip if you can have the thread nuked by 20 missiles and then shot with a machine gun

 

Do straights write good muff gags?

 

Jesus to be renamed The Dude.

 

This could have worked.

But that would make it a Big Lebowski reference...

and Big Lebowski was a perfect example of idiotic American humour.

So... it won't work.

 

If the Bible 2 isn't an example of idiot American humour, I don't know what is.


"Judas, you're out of your element."

 

You make a great point.

 

Do straights write good muff gags?

no that would be far too sexist

 

You know what else the Bible 2 needs?


WILD PANTY RAIDS

 

Yes. And it also has to not be written by you.

 

Shut up and don't speak again until you've given me at least a rough draft of Ulysses Wake: Finnegans Strike's Back, you skank x.

 

Obviously the natives are restless, and are massing on at least three sides of the fort.
What I have to do now is prop up the dead legionairres against the firing slots, rifles in hand and pointed outward, so that the natives will think they're still alive. Then move randomly from one firing slot to the next (see the novel "Beau Geste" for details).

This feedback is so much fun, I'll have to write more truly bad stuff to keep you guys stirred up. Haven't had so much fun since the hogs et me little sister.

And now SelfControl (probably a pen name for Henry Kissinger, but none of you are old enough to remember him) wants a rough draft of Ulysses Wake. I can give it a try, but you guys have to promise to crank up the feedback like AC/DC trying to wake up a crowd of bored stoners in Glasgow. Deal?

 

Thank you, SelfControl. You've insulted me several times now, and it's my turn to get back. Funny how that works.

First, bad metaphor. My writing does not have feet. You have feet, and if you get your ass out of a chair long enough, you'll learn what they're for. (See me short story, "Marathon").

Second: Q: "Would like [you] to write some [gay literature] for [me]?"
A: Short answer: No.
Long answer: No. Send it to ronald Macdonald, he's in the closet but really appreciates the attention.

SelfControl: You're right, I did have you confused. At first I thought you were The Queen, but now I'm thinking you're "A queen" in Glasgow or Birmingham with time on your hands. Get in touch with Ronald, you'll make a stunning couple. I'll be Best Man.

Please speak up: Is there anyone I haven't offended?

 

Evidently, heywood, you know how to read (or else your boyfriend is reading this to you).
Next question: Can you write? We're all holding our breath out here in cyberspace, so show us what you can do. We also like to write critical responses which are almost (but not quite) as intelligent as yours. I suggest you start you're own thread before you write anything. Ask your mother how.

 

Oh god DirtyDog AKA stephen King has become a troll !
I think he must live under a bridge and eats billygoats for breakfast.
or at least sucks their bones

 

Dirty Dog, I know you like to experiment with your writing, and have a lot of ability, but I prefer it when you write horror novels.