I know what your saying Andy.. I actually considered the idea that a person might just 're-appear' on some other plain. Scared the shit outta me just thinking about it lol!
i would only prefer death to eternity if diversity were not the nature of existence i know it to be. an eternity of repitition is the only eternity death would be preferable. chronic hysterisis is indeed a nightmare, and among the recurring fears that haunted much of my earlier life, but the time at which the looping back might have occured is safely passed, and i am eternaly greateful for the fortune to have found and fallowed paths leading away from it -- this world still holds other traps for a soul such as mine and the tyranny of their dominance appears for a time to have usurped the will of the common people though there are many illusions and with any luck that will prove to have been one of them even the mightiest tyranny is never immune to the reality of diversity however whatever discomfort it may at times bring us personaly we can no the less always thank it for that
Despite this, one thing I am actually NOT fearful of is having a complete mental breakdown. I think mental breakdowns are over rated. The real problems result when the breakdown is interrupted, usually as a result of prevailing prejudices with which the sufferer has been inculcated. Otherwise, a breakdown is akin to a cold, a flu - the psyche is trying to heal itself through a breakdown just as the body produces a fever. The impending madness may produce a panic attack, but if you completely surrender to the madness without fearing it you will soon be like 'what's all the fuss about'. I don't think insanity is a big deal, it is really a cultural/societal problem whether one becomes a schizophrenic and is unable to let the breakdown run its course.
If I am ever faced with severe schizophrenia, instead of running to the shrinks I am going to yell ... BRING IT ON!!!
I think you made some excellent observations there Andy! Your only problem is that you are probably about 35 years ahead of modern psychology and/or 35 years behind. I think in the 'olden days' people just accepted nervous breakdowns and let the person 'heal' like it was the fever, as you put it. Now.. we have instilled a horrifying fear into people that, unless they get immediate help, paxils, and psychotherapy ....they will go mad and cut themselves and other people and.. and.. and.... Now I think whats happened is that we become terrified and have intense fear and panic about that FEAR ITSELF! I know Ive had some extremely stressful times and was beginning to become more afraid of 'losing it' than any actual problems I was encountering. Most of the time it just took someone to explain to me it was normal to feel a certain way AND that it WILL PASS. In my case, I went to a Pastor and fearfully explained that I was feeling desperate, anxious and like I could scream or cry out loud sometimes... ... He looks at me and says "Well... now you can feel blessed to have joined the ranks and brotherhood of some of the greatest men who ever had favour with God himself" Huh? He gave me some Old Testament people to read about incl. Job, David, Solomon. Sure enough, these guys all went through (what we now term) 'Nervous Breakdowns'. They seemed to know what it was. There was no 'Mental Mystery' to them or anyone else. Sure enough.. every time..... AFTER their nervous breakdown, (or Chemical imbalances or Acute Clinical Depressions) these guys rested, healed, then actually came back stronger than ever! Some like David went on to become amazing hero's of humanity and examples to serve generations of mankind! So maybe your right-on Andy... if you feel a 'breakdown' coming on then simply sit back, relax and let it run its course. You WILL rebound healthier than ever if you dont let false fears 'take control' where they have no right too. Great post Andy!
when i was a kid i used to wonder if my life was really a dream, and i was going to wake up one day to find that i was really someone else, with a different life.i was always trying to figure out how one would determine if something was "real", because i was afraid things might not be. scarey stuff for a little kid.
Near death for me... i have had lots of dreams that involve crashes falls and accidents were i don't quite die. The last one was a bike accident (i don't ride) the crash was extremely vivid , hiting/sliding on the tarmack tumbling over the bike rolling for what seemed like ages and then hearing the nurse call my name . I woke (i thought) up with the site of bandages over my face and doctors/nurses around me . Thankfully it was a bad nightmare... The worst nightmares i have are when i don't sleep and try and get a couple of hours at 5 in the morning ... for some reason they are extremely lucid..and always bloody scarey.
