My weird confusing trip that I don't understand

I've done mushrooms dozens of times, but it was never quite like this. I'm not sure you can classify it as a bad trip, maybe just an extreme trip. Anyway, it started out normal...things we're pulsating, everything was funny, colors were vibrant. Next I started to hallucinate. I could "see" the music, things like colors we're making noises at me and everything felt like whipped cream. Me and my roomate had piper at the gates of dawn playing and the music was generating medieval fantasy type scenery all over our apartment. There were people everywhere (not real people) and it was a happy vibrant experience. Me and my roomate fell in love with our window fans and decided to take them into the music...I almost destroyed my computer when I tried to climb into the speakers, and my roomate didn't even make it that far, apparently the fan cord turned into a infinite string which kept him occupied for a good 20 minutes. What happened next however was new to me. I was no longer hallucinating externally, but internally. I couldn't focus outside of my own mind, and inside all I could see were these weird irrational images that seemed to be compilations of things, ideas and experiences that we're some how tied to my identity but also seemed very old. I tried to draw it but the next morning all I found was a paper plate with scribbles carved into it with a steak knife. Anyway, the images wouldn't leave my head and it started to get frustrating. Just when I thought I was about to freak out, things changed again, and I couldn't feel my body. I came to the conclusion that my entire being was a virtual program running on a biological computer we call a brain. I felt like I was made of nothing except consciousness and could float all over the room. I felt like all boundaries had been destroyed and all that was left was energy. I couldn't even grasp reality if I tried, everything seemed to be caught in circular logic. The last thing I remember is feeling like my self awareness was unravelling, and then I woke up the next morning huddled under the kitchen table wearing snow boots and a sweater...and thats it...no socks, no underwear, no pants. Does anyone know why this happened? Was this a bad trip? Me and my roomate each ate an eighth which is about the usual for us, and we both had what we consider the freakiest experiences we ever had.

 

thats hilarious

 

Haha, dude, pipers at the gates of dawn will fry you.

 

Sounds like a great night if you ask me haha

 

rofl no pants no underwear nice story

 

Hahahahaha. Gold. Mushies are great.

 

Great story. It wasn't a "bad trip" unless you were damaged by it in some way, and by that I mean you'd know. Sounds like you just got an extremely potent batch of mushrooms. If you know where you got 'em from, you should try to pick up as much more of that stuff as you can afford, cuz if an eighth sent you where it did, you should be able to have a decent trip on less than a gram.

 

those sound like the best mushrooms ever.

 

They we're definitely different than any I had done in the past. The guys I got them off of were hardcore hippies whose apartment was decorated like somethin out of a trip, which I guess is a good indicator that they supply some potent stuff.

All in all it would've been a perfect trip if I couldve cut out a half hour or so from the middle when the mental images were drivin me crazy. I'm gunna pick up some more and try them again, this time with the dosage tappered back a bit.

 

The piper at the gates of dawn....excellent choice man

 

I completely relate to everything you just said...that was an excellent post. The disturbing part of my trip wasn't mystical aspect or the "mind blowing" aspect...infact I'll be quite honest...thats what draws me to pyschadelics (I haven't tried acid but I'm actively seeking it). Although I've never had such an epiphany before, it was the near freak out that made the trip weird. There were images in my mind so vivid I couldn't ignore them but so abstract that I couldn't grasp them. My post-trip reflection of this was that maybe they were some of the first images and.or experiences I came in contact with when my self awareness was "born" sometime in my early childhood. Anyway, after that whole episode subsided I felt I was for the most stable (my body was cut off from "me" but I was able to handle that). At the complete peak I was thinking about how any and all intelligent life would be the same, because the body and the brain were simply hosts, and what "we" are is, like you said, consciousness. I remember distinctly the feeling of no boundaries. I felt like sight, touch, sound, etc. were all one, and I couldnt grasp differences between them. The music I was hearing was a total experience, not just one of sound, and the sights I was seeing were beyond mere visuals. I felt like life is a loop of energy whose purpose is to sustain the loop, and death was simply a release back into the unorganized energy of the universe. As odd as it sounds, I felt nothingness and everything at the same time. I felt like the whole existence of everything and every piece of knowledge and explanation was on the tip of my tongue but I just couldn't grasp it. Maybe words don't even do any of this justice, but I explained it the best I could. I've eaten mushrooms around 15 or 16 times before and it was absolutely nothing like this.

Also, I think the music really set the mood in the beginning of the trip. I like piper at the gates of dawn but while I was tripping it was the most spectacular thing I ever heard (this was actually the first time I listened to it while tripping). I'm thinking of trying something with a completely different tone to it. Suggestions?

 

I must say, reading your posts keeps my eyes glued to the screen, but all the while, I can't help but wonder if y'all realize the prices you pay for each additional trip.
Don't doubt my words... you are sacrificing pieces of your souls in order to gain some sort of enlightening experiences. But where do you draw the line?... when does your soul's budget dry up?
Soul can be a controversial term, so for anyone who doesn't believe in the "soul" for fear of mixing religion into this equation, you may substitute it with Spirit, or essence, or w/e. When I speak of my soul, I'm reffering to the place I've been while tripping (to give a familiar refference to those of you who might be able to relate) where "reality" becomes clear... or maybe unclear. It was a retreat into my body, almost like being inside of a vessel that you've known all of your life as your "self," but it didn't seem familiar in any way.
...all of the explaining i'm doing is tiring, and it feels terrible b/c I keep thinking of the quote "Those who know don't talk. Those who talk don't know." But there was a metaphor referring to spiritual teachings in rebuttle to the aforementioned: "Their words are fingers pointing to the moon; if you watch the finger, you can't see the moon."
[the 1st is from the Tao Te Ching; the 2nd is a Buddhist quote]

Forgive me if my advice seems like an unwelcomed intrusion, but I simply have mankind's interest at heart. The path you are heading down is a long and troublesome journey. If you continue down it, there is a good possibility that you will lose pieces of who you thought you were... which can get very uncomfortable at times. But it can also have great rewards. I, myself, am just recently (within the past year) observing the wisdom my trips helped me attain.
Ultimately, I know that everyone will make their own decisions.
I just hope my words will help you to choose wisely.

 

You are very outspoken.

I like and honor your view on 'psychadelics' and their ability to help you to realize who you truly are. You have wisdom.

My previous post had a cornerstone of sobriety. The "sober" state you mentioned correctly used those air quotes. Something inside of me feels that you haven't known sobriety in a while. The effects and remnants of psychadelic substances, marijuana, and other drugs like Malcom can take a very long time to rid the body of, based on the frequency of use. My thoughts and opinions are coupled with more than a year of not using any heavy substances, and also regular meditation.

Now to answer your question-
A person doesnt limit themselves to a certain being by not ingesting poisonous chemicals. They might instead rid themselves of all limitations by finding the will to not trip or roll or get smoked out. But this is only a thought.
"Free from desire, you realize the mystery. Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations." What desires do you have?

You are correct though... you could possibly be giving "EVEYTHING" up for the amazing stuff that goes along with a trip. It seems much more logical to have faith in the infinite capabilities of the mind and spirit that were given to you at birth though.

When Timothy Leary was trying to create his religion based on spiritual experiences, he had theories that it wasn't only the LSD users that were able to reach new levels of consciousness but also the Yogi's and ancient Eastern philosophers like Lao Tzu. These people never saw drugs as a prerequesite to Enlightenment. "Enlightenment" was simply the natural order of life.

I could continue to reply to the other pieces of your philosophy, but I have the feeling that it would do no good. It is quite typical of an individual clouded with foreign substances to go off on philosophical tangents, and not necessarily let useful advice soak in.
But honestly, I simply have care in my heart for you and all the other trippers, and I don't want to see a future world of mindless old people stuck in their ways. Don't forget- they are Foreign Substances and can do no good with regards to health.

Now that that's done, here's the other side of me:
Y'all niggas make me wanna trip my balls off. I shoulda never went looking for an LSD forum.
And trip_seeker... those pictures in your gallery are sexy. My group of drug addict "friends" had a girl just like you. She even looked very similar to you. Most of the guys wanted to have sex with her, and a few of them did. It's really kinda sad. She was such a pretty girl, but she didnt value what was given to her. But anyway, the naked shot of you with the red veil cover provoked me to masturbate. And for that, I ask your forgiveness.

2Pac said "I betcha wonder why they call you bitch." That song discussed this topic.

I hope life is well on your end.

 

This has turned out to be quite the enjoyable thread.

As far as losing parts of my soul...Psychedelics are another part of the human experience, and a part which has the ability to (possibly) open my mind even further. I'm willing to try anything I can to gain even an ever so slightly different perspective on life, if only for a few hours. I don't know that I gained anything from my use, but I don't feel I've lost anything at all because my soul is already lost in its own right...
...I think of myself as at least somewhat different when it comes to personality. I'm very thought oriented and spend a lot of time thinking about existence and life. Because of this, the things in life that most people take comfort in and derive purpose from are like illusions to me. Career, money, possessions, religion...are all human created "reasons" in which we take shelter from actual reality...and that actual reality is mystery. I'm not sure of what I see, what I know or even my own mind...but I am sure of ignorance. Its the only thing I can take comfort in. The world is amazing to me...energy, matter, space, life...the mystery of our existence is far more mystical than any religion or any fantasy, and the fact that we are oblivious to its truths makes it even more fantastic. At the same time Im in love with humanity...the only material thing I can grasp. Im completely agnostic...I'm not aethiest, not anti-religious, nor do I accept any religion you can conceive...but I still feel love and compassion. Humanity might just be the only other thing that can comfort me when I feel like my mind has reached something so deep that its drowning in fear. So to me...life is unexplainable in words, because the words always contradict themselves. My soul...my consciousness...is like a dim flicker of a candle in an infinite night...lasting just long enough to give a taste of that which ive been ever so slightly designed not to be able to taste. That is where I find my reason, and thats what I feel reflects my "soul".

 

ahah not a bad trip....sound like ego loss...

*I felt like I was made of nothing except consciousness and could float all over the room. I felt like all boundaries had been destroyed and all that was left was energy. I couldn't even grasp reality if I tried, everything seemed to be caught in circular logic.*

most awesome thing ever in my opinion ;p

 

I have been tripping for over 33 years and have found more of myself then lost anything. As in anything in life it's what YOU bring to it. If you bring fear that will be your trip and it's the same in anything in life.
Peace The Wiz

 

LMFAO sounds like a normal trip man.

 

yea, in fact it's missing the usual elements, like eating woodchips, and rolling around outside in the mud

 

Precisely.

 

God I love all you guys, you're all so right (seth, trip seeker, dak).
I had an epiphany a few months ago, it's listed in the Mushrooms forum as Epiphany, any comments would be much appreciated,