My time is limited

I know EXACTLY what you mean greengoddess. I've always felt that way myself. Funny though, because I did nearly die the day after I gave birth to my twins, but I fought like heck not to leave. I feel like I could have easily slipped away, like I was hovering, watching myself in the hospital bed, like I could go one way or the other, and I fought with every fiber of my body to come back.

Anyway.

 

Knowing me, I'd be fighting to stay alive and fall asleep never to wake up. Then again as much as I sleep I'm bound to die there.

 

Well what happened with me is that my body started giving out on me, I was having grand mal seizures, my kidneys were shutting down, my liver was going, my platelets were basement-level, my blood pressure was stroke level (I did in fact have three small strokes), my liver enzymes were through the roof, all from H.E.L.L.P. syndrome (which a pregnant woman has a 1 in a 1,000,000 chance of getting) and severe Toxemia. I had also been bleeding internally due to one of my twin's placentas becoming prematurely detached.

I was unconscious during the seizures, but would wake for a few minutes before going into another fit I was told. I can vaguely remember being awake in between, but I was told that I fell into such a deep sleep following my seizures that it was almost as if I were in a coma.

When I finally came to, I was in the ICU hooked up to a bunch of machines, and IV's running everywhere. I remember laying there in bed praying to God that I was not ready to go anywhere yet. I was a fighter. I totally amazed the medical staff at my come around. I was determined though. I wasn't letting anything take me down, I had way too much to live for.

So, here I am.

 

wow what an amazing story..... well I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say I'm glad your here.
<3
Hollie*

 

well we're definitely glad to have you here

 

Me too Hollie, me too.

 

I'm certainly glad to be here too. What happened to me changed my life for the better. I became a different person, I see the world through different eyes. I am amazed by even the tiniest things that I overlooked before and took for granted, I appreciate each day more than the last, and I love with all my heart, not holding back, because I never know when my time may be up, and I want to make the best of the life I have here now.

 

That's a really great outlook.

 

Well thank you.

 

Sure.

I've never felt that way about this place though.

 

really? i feel unwelcome and unwanted quite often. doesn't stop me, though.