These past four years have been very hard for me(emotionally wise) as I have struggled with depression ever since losing on this day back in 2014. My dad was unwell with his health and had been for a portion of his life but never did I think that he was so unwell he would pass away from his condition. It's a day I'll always remember for what happened to him but I'll always remember all the memories and blissful times spent with him so much more clearer. I think about my dad and how he would talk to me whenever I was sad and upset or worried about anything and how he would help me become coherent with my worries and stresses. I especially remember all the time spent listening to music with him in the living room and I remember all the fantastic bands such as Pink Floyd, Hawkwind, Genesis and Tangerine Dream which he introduced me to. I'll always cherish these memories and moments spent together as they will be with me for as long as I'll ever be around. In Late 2017 I met somebody through Facebook who became good friends with me and I was introduced to her family who all seemed delighted to know me and talk with me. A few months went by and I can honestly say that she seemed like a very nice person and we would call on Facebook and would have a great chat and a laugh about literally anything and everything. It was a lovely feeling to know I was appreciated and respected so much by somebody who lived thousands of miles away and this made me feel completely warm and jolly inside considering I love talking to people very much but I don't have many friends to speak to. Things went brilliantly for the months following and we organised to spend a holiday together and I wanted to show her different parts of the UK including London, Cotswolds, North Wales, Edinburgh and my town in Telford. I don't know what happened and why their decisions had changed but they cancelled their trip and it was not long after this that they all removed me and blocked me on Facebook. I felt completely heartbroken since I thought the world of them and they felt like a second family to me, I bought them all lots of gifts on my holiday to Brazil last year and I bought them lots of gifts for Christmas. I don't understand the situation or why they chosen not to want to know me any longer but it was something that really was a shock and made me feel very low. In April this year I met a girl over Facebook again who was from Michigan. We started talking as at the time I had a joke about profile on Facebook named "Gordon Ramsay" who she added and we chatted since then, I remember she worked at a restaurant and we would make conversation about her job and I would make silly jokes and would quote Hells kitchen and kitchen nightmare which was pretty hilarious I admit xD I known her for almost two months before talking to her and telling her exactly how I felt about her and I told her she was a lovely girl and I had a lot of feelings towards her and I asked if she wanted to be my partner(and asked her if she we would like to meet in the near future) and she was over the moon that I asked her and she said she would love to. Ten days into our relationship my friend found out she cheated on me with another guy(As she had privacy settings which prevented me from seeing a majority of her status's, which my friend could see) and upon questioning my girlfriend she then confessed to having a liking in another guy. It deeply upset me but I still continued talking to her as I still saw a nice person in her and wanted to believe there was a beautiful side beyond this ordeal. I must mention aswell that I was giving her money and sending it through PayPal from the course in knowing her because it made me feel amazing inside knowing I was helping her out(As she told me she was struggling with finances, struggling to get food, to travel about, to get clothes) Etc. I bought her a laptop and a kitten just so she had company as she also suffered from depression and would send her money to have meals out with her friends on a regular basis. In total I sent over £2400 to her because I loved her very much. It was until early July that my mother was in a bad way with her health as she has a heart condition so I was giving her a lot of my company that my girlfriend called me a bad person for not giving her affection and told me that if my mother died it would be no big deal as life goes on and told me I was abandoning her and making her feel left out too. And there was a lot more she said including the most offensive email I've ever been sent by anybody in my entire life. This is when I put a stop to it and broken up with her. I'm just feeling very low and down at the moment as a result from losing my father, ordeals with friends and down to my mothers health. I signed up to this website to meet nice, kind and honest people who could bond with me and share their time speaking to me and people who would appreciate me as much as I shall for them because life is too short to feel alone and depressed forever and ever because true friendship is the most beautiful factor somebody can have in their life
I'm sorry about your dad. I lost my dad in 2011 to suicide. Depression runs in my family so I can certainly understand the struggle you must be going through. There's lots of cool people here to chat with, just be patient with us. Maybe try the chat room...it's not always very active but there are some regulars there that you will get to know. Hope things get better for you.
Joshua, you may have found the group you're looking for, but we're exclusively (at least since I've been here) an online community. We're here every day, and are relatively friendly. Just remember, no one can console or give you assistance if you don't post. I read the bit about your dad. I'm sorry to hear that. And I think I can understand how you might feel about being abandoned by your friends. Your mom was sick, and your girlfriend cheated. Sounds like just about everything has gone wrong! Your world must be upside down right now. I hope you find what you need out of life... It's sites like this one that can really give you pause to think about where you really stand about things, but also to allow you to appreciate who you are/the person you've become. I hope you enjoy it here. Stick around! There is plenty to talk about! The easiest way to keep up with us and what we're posting is by clicking the "New Posts" link at the top of the Forum. Once you've accessed the Forum page you'll see it. Here is a link to it to get you started. Recent Posts | Hip Forums
Sorry you're having a tough time. Sometimes you just have to hold on and wait for it to pass. I've only been on this site a while but it is a really cool place and the people are mostly friendly. I don't know about you, but when i'm low I often can't find the energy for real life socialising, but at the same time it's not always good to be alone so having a place like this where there is kind of relaxed conversation in the threads is exactly what I need. Hang around and join in : )
Thank you very much I appreciate your kind words. Depression has also run in my family too but with me personally I was feeling happy up until the point of losing my dad and then I became very unwell with my emotional health. That and due to a number of counters with former friends and how different friendships and relationships turned out it really took a lot of confidence out of me and it's made me afraid who I can and can't trust too. I'll check the chat out as I would really like to get to know people on this forum and I do hope to up my confidence and become a happier and more positive individual too
Far out! I'll probably be in chat later tonight and Lolli will probably be there as well. I'll be looking for you.
Thank you very much. That's true that unless I reach out I'll never be given advise or support or be given suggestions in how I can help my situation and it's a bit of a bad habit of mine that I keep my feelings inside which definitely doesn't help the way I feel as talking to people about it and opening up makes me feel tonnes better it's just I keep a lot of how I'm feeling inside at the same time until I find the right time to chat about it. Thanks. Losing my dad was the worst pain I've ever been through and that'll always stick with me but at the same time his memories will shine over the thoughts of the night I lost him. That's why I've been feeling low this year was down to the amount of people who didn't want to know me anymore and that really took a lot of confidence out of me and made me feel like a terrible person inside which made me feel like it was pointless to even get out and socialise. It was until I got my evening job in July that I started opening up and talking to people in person as everybody on this job is very friendly and chat to me and make me laugh all the time. On my morning job I don't get to see people there as I work by myself and not in a team like my evening job is like but coming into work each day makes me feel incredibly happy as it not only takes my mind off of things but it gives me the chance to get out and talk to people too because for years and years I struggled to talk to people in person and I've always been one to sit at home and talk to people online but at the same time this is where I've been hurt the most in terms of experiences with past friends I'll be sure to stick around! thanks for the motivational words I really appreciate it so much!
I'm also the same in terms of just wanting to be by myself when I feel very down and depressed and I find it difficult to talk to people face to face when feeling like this but online I feel in my comfort zone. That plus I enjoy listening to music too as that always helps build me back up feeling better again. I'm glad to hear such lovely things about this forum and i'll definitely stick around because from my experience using this forum I can honestly say that it's a very pleasant place and I feel nothing but positive vibes from the people who apart of this community. It's not nice feeling low, especially when it's all the time but it's nice to know people do care and appreciate you and it persuades me to keep a smile on my face each and everyday because it's these people who makes each day totally worthwhile
Don't think it matters : ) There's that Norwegian author who is writing about his life in a series of books also called "my struggle" They're good, actually. He is honest about himself in a way few people would be in a book like that.. Like it's uncomfortable at times!
