My social anxiety is destroying my life

Discussion in 'The Whiners' started by death01, Jun 20, 2013.

  1. death01

    death01 Guest

    I'm 22. I'm depending on my mom and dad. I've always been very shy and very quiet. In sixth grade a girl actually asked me if i was an alien. It was probably because I never talked unless spoken to. in school people always asked me why are you so quiet why do you never talk,etc. I wanted to have friends and stuff but my frikin shyness screwed me up. I dont have a job. I dropped a college class just because we had to do group projects fuck! I hate my life i wish i had friends a girlfriend a life... when i talk to people i get really nervous i try my bst to hide it i dont know if they can see right thru me or not.my mom is telling me i have to get a job or do something or else im going to get kicked out. i hate seeing and especially talking to people. i dont wish bad on them i just dont like talking to humans especially females i get even more nervous. The only person i talk to is my mom.

    I've taken alot of social anxiety quizzes and i always fail them meaning i always have very high/severe social anxiety

    Your Social Anxiety Score: 93%

    93%
    Your results show that you have significant social anxiety. We might even call it social phobia. You have a very difficult time in social situations and this has a major impact on your life. You have trouble interacting and building relationships. It can be quite hard to deal with social anxiety, but know that you are not alone. Don't lose hope; this can be overcome.

    what do i do...
     
  2. RainyDayHype

    RainyDayHype flower power Lifetime Supporter

    I have really horrible anxiety too and have been quiet all my life. I feel more comfortable writing and communicating online. In person, I'm quiet and awkward. I can usually warm up to one person at a time if they earn my trust.

    People have always asked me why I'm so quiet. I kind of embrace it now. Who cares. I'd rather be quiet than a blabber mouth. I can't really stand people that talk a lot. They usually have nothing important to say anyways.

    For a job, I'm thinking maybe you can do wherehouse work or something? You wouldn't be working with the public...or what about stocking overnight at a store?
     
  3. RainyDayHype

    RainyDayHype flower power Lifetime Supporter

    I wanted to add that if you feel your anxiety is really severe, maybe you should talk to a therapist or psychiatrist. I really don't recommend going the route of taking medicine for anxiety but maybe it would help you. I don't like taking medicine but I've been on and off anti-depressants which were also prescribed for my anxiety and they did help.
     
  4. death01

    death01 Guest

    im scared of talking to a professional and also it costs alot and idont think they can help i mean their just going to talk to me i dont think i need that i dont know..
     
  5. RainyDayHype

    RainyDayHype flower power Lifetime Supporter

    there should be mental health programs in your area that you will qualify for free

    not sure where you live, google 'county mental health' along with your city
     
  6. death01

    death01 Guest

    hm k
     
  7. odonII

    odonII O

    Try dealing with one issue at a time.
    Perhaps the most pressing issue - getting a job.
    Maybe find somewhere that helps people get a job - interview techniques etc.
    Perhaps confidence getting one issue sorted will help with others.
    There is no pressing need to get a g/f.
    There is no pressing need to get friends.
    You seem to be in a mental rut.
    Have you any hobbies?
    Do you drink? smoke? any other things that don't help the matter?
    I'm quite shy, but realised after a long time - most people are not perfect, and have issues too.
    They just don't dwell on them as others do.

    CBT works by helping you make sense of overwhelming problems by breaking them down into smaller parts.
    Your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and actions are interconnected, often trapping you in a negative spiral.
    CBT helps you stop these negative cycles. It aims to break down factors that are making you feel bad, anxious or scared so that they are more manageable. It can show you how to change these negative patterns to improve the way you feel.

    http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Cognitive-behavioural-therapy/Pages/Introduction.aspx
     
  8. death01

    death01 Guest

    I just have one major problem and that is my social anxiety, if i didnt have this problem i wouldent have any of the problems i mentioned
     
  9. odonII

    odonII O

    You seem to have more than one problem. You say: I don't. I hate. I want. Well, it's catch 22. If you are not even willing to try and get A you are unlikely to solve B. 'make sense of overwhelming problems by breaking them down into smaller parts'. Do you have a decent resume? What kind of jobs are you looking for? Are you looking? See what I mean?
     
  10. Odon II is right man. Most people I have ever met, rich, poor, homeless, whatever, most people are the just like alike. What I mean by that is they have issues too man, and you're not alone man. Check this man.

    I was quiet for a while, until I kinda broke out of my shell. kInd of just naturally happpened, but when I began to realize that it wasn't me (or I hope not) being awkward in talking situations with other people, I found it was other people man who couldn't hold the conversation because they had to look cool or really have problems of their own too. I think what I'm trying to say is you're not much different from everyone else, which is what Odon II said .
     
  11. odonII

    odonII O

    infantdressingtable

    'you're not much different from everyone else.'

    Yeah, exactly.

    Like you say, you just need to break out of your shell. Slowly mind you.
     
  12. death01

    death01 Guest

    i am different than most people in the sense that i have extreme social anxiety, i have a really hard time talking to people i get really nervous. I kinda get red and sweaty. and my voice changes it sounds like im shaky and nervous..
     
  13. odonII

    odonII O

    I know what you mean. I was not suggesting you send out 100 resumes, and go on 50 interviews. Or go to a bar every night and try and get a date or have sex with somebody while your mum is out at work. You don't have to talk to a vast amount of people. You don't have to make friends and influence people. You just have to try and tackle some of the things you mentioned. Starting with the less stressful of them all. Which, to me, is trying to get a job somewhere. If that is too much - have you any other family? Are you awkward around your own family?
    If you have family - perhaps try to connect with them more.
    If you don't do anything but worry then you'll never get anywhere.
    Screw up. Mess it up. Make an ass of yourself. It all helps.
     
  14. laughing-buddha

    laughing-buddha Relax and have fun

    I am...
    I have...
    I need...
    I think....

    Just forget this "I" and talk to us something else. This will help
    (Do not worry, nobody knows you here and you at liberty to talk anything except I)
     
  15. death01

    death01 Guest

  16. odonII

    odonII O

    What does that mean?
     
  17. death01

    death01 Guest

    what do we talk about
     
  18. death01

    death01 Guest

    im awkward with my family we dont talk to eachother..
     
  19. Fairlight

    Fairlight Banned

    Are you still at college at all? I think you should just be brave and make the effort to talk to someone outside your family circle.Friends,peers and contemporaries ARE important.I was a loner until I went to college and made a few friends,and before I knew it was going to parties and staying out for whole weekends.Friendships can be made with the unlikeliest of people - someone who you may think is uninteresting can turn out to be the greatest of buddies.So I'm just suggesting you make the effort to talk to someone,however hard your social phobia may seem to you - what have you got to lose?
     
  20. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

    Why don't you start really, really small?

    something like.....walking into a convenience store to buy a drink and asking the cashier how her day is going.

    I used to be really shy and just doing stuff like that is what broke me out of my shell. Once I realized people would respond warmly to very simple questions like that, it made everyone seem much more approachable and human.
     

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