My Size Worries Gave Me Perfromance Anxiety

I thought, what if she thinks it is small, what if goes flaccid and it looks small, what if i cant please her with my penis, what if she has had bigger(since i thought my penis is on the small end and everyone else has bigger)(porn damn it :/)etc. I was in my head, not in the moment. Also watching porn, i gave myself huge expectations. And boom, erection gone. I acted catastrophically and took it so personally when it happened, like it is the end of the world and im done, my penis cant do it, it Isnt big enough. I myself made the issue so big and so bad and that only made things worse for me and for us. I should have taken it lighter and more simply, but when you have no knowledge on it, it really feels defeating for you and i began to avoid the topic of it and talking about it with her. I was in denial. Never told or asked anything from anybody, because i thought i was the only one with the problem. I never really could relax. That also gave her, her own worries that she might be doing something wrong, etc or whatever. F*ck i was stupid. Inexperience also was a factor of me worrying.Throughout our whole relationship, i was worried about it thinking to myself that i cant please her and i cant keep it(penis) up and she will leave me. So stupid of me, i wont even wanted to show her my penis or touch it, especially when it were flaccid. I avoided sex, didnt initiate it and made excuses or was overall anxious when sex was on the table(my penis and can i keep it up) and looked porn instead :/. But damn that really screwed me up and made so unconfident, that really screwed up my sexual life with her. And eventually it just ended between us. Throughout the whole relationship i worried about it a lot, but inexperience, fear of rejection and many other fears and subconcious anxieties, hold me back and i felt helpless and stuck. Waiting for something to happen on its own, but damn that way of coping and dealing with it never helps. Also the penis size issue was a another factor. Talk about your performance anxiety and deal with it when it happens as soon as possible. Also dont let penis size get away your sex life. DONT LET IT HOLD YOU BACK, FROM ENGAGING FULLY INTO SEX, WHEN THE CHANCE COMES. DONT LET BECOME PERFORMANCE ANXIETY. YOU ARE OKAY AND YOU CAN SATISFY A WOMAN.


Now i feel regret and shame(yet i was inexperienced and porn really screwed my perception of sex up) for not educating myself and thinking to myself that she will leave me or that i cant please her and on and on. And when i lost my erection, that just gave a another spiral of worries. My behaviors, reactions and fears only made it worse I was stupid, obnoxious and young. I should have talked about it and stuff, the whole sex overall. And I should have known or whatever. Now i have learned to be a better lover and now i am happy with my penis. So dont let your penis size discourage you. You will do okay . But damn that was life lesson learned, the hard way though, but now i am more comfortable and acknowledged and next time it will be better. I seriously thought PIV is everything. But damn it, it is not. And dont let one mishap discourage you or make you feel like a failure, just keep trying and deal with the problem, when you have the chance. . Dont engage in porn, when this happens, that shit wont help. Know the difference between porn and sex and dont be like me, it wont help as you see. But yeah i have learned my lessons, my mistakes and now i am smarter.

. I was like the any other guy,thinking is it big and can i satisfy her. To be honest flaccid size dont even matter, because in sex, you have very few to do with it when you are flaccid, so that size is somewhat irrelevant. Maybe some of you had similar situations or behaviors, know that it is unnecessary and you can satisfy a woman whether whatever you have. Confidence, careness is key and also other forms of sex skills. Dont be like i was, if you want it to work out.


I have learned my lessons, educated myself and now i feel at ease. It is just sad, that i let my relationship suffer from my own thougths, fears, anxieties and worries and my own catastrophic behaviors, dumb actions, procrastination and copings just made it worse. DONT BE LIKE I WAS AND DONT LET IT GET YOU.

 

M

 

I never thought any of that until I came to this site. I was thinking she is gonna have a good time and as a bonus so was i.