My sister is 19 years old and expecting her 3rd child.....

Going to try to make this quick because it's a really long story...

Back in September my little sister's kids got taken by DCS and placed in a foster home. This happened after her 7 week old baby was admitted to the hospital at nearly 3lbs under his birth weight, deaf, and almost blind.

My oldest nephew (17months) was taken under the conditions of "failure to thrive" and had severely underdeveloped motor skills.

Now because of all the neglect and malnutrition, my oldest nephew has serious digestion problems as well as terrible anger and trust issues. And my youngest nephew (8 months old) might be deaf. They put tubes in his ears about 3 weeks ago, but his hearing is not looking good.

And now just yesterday I found out that she is pregnant AGAIN.


All in all these boys are very lucky. There is a lady in that area who was babysitting them at the time and owns a daycare through her home. This was where my sister requested they be sent and she is completely set on adopting them. She is 120% set on keeping them. She has nursed them back to health and has kept me updated constantly. It is only thanks to her that these boys will have a normal life. And I am incredibly grateful for that.

I know this new baby will be taken as soon as it's born and placed with my nephews. She also knows this and is completely beyond willing to take it because she DOES NOT want this baby to go to a foster home or have it's life in my sisters hands.

I'm so beyond angry with my sister...but she just seems to think this is no big deal and she should get the boys back simply because she's pregnant and marrying this guy...that "nothing else should matter".


I honestly don't know what I was wanting from this thread, but I know that the people around me are tired of hearing about it and I need somewhere to vent. I'm recently married, 23 years old, making minimum wage and trying to start my own business. I want to build my life so I can hopefully help the boys later but the more children she has the less I can help them all equally...

If anyone on here has a similar experiences and would like to share please do.

I'm also open to expanding because like I said....this is the shortened version..

This is why forced sterilization should be a thing...

 

She should at least get lots of education on birth control and child health matters, etc. before DCS lets her have the children back.

 

She's been lectured over and over. She had free birth control both before and after the first and stopped taking it...

I had that conversation with her countless times (all which times she would agree or avoid talking about it and just say "I told him not to do it inside..he wouldn't listen.") and helped her get said birth control AND gave her condoms right before she got pregnant the first time.

She was court ordered by DCS to have a ring put in and provide the paperwork to prove that she did it. Which she did. Apparently.

But I just got the news yesterday and she's due in December.

EDIT: She also completely ignores any guidance from other people. She intentionally does the exact opposite of what people tell her to do.Even when it may hurt their health.

Example: The oldest has severe acid reflux. She was told to bring him food on visits but not juice, fried foods, citrus, tomatoes, etc.

What did she bring? Mcdonalds chicken nuggets and juice.

 

She does have issues and I hope she resolves them soon. Pregnancy isn't a big deal for some people but later the effects of her kids being with others might cause another issue.
Forced sterilization isn't the thing because it could get used on others wrongly as it did in the past with the disabled.
Maybe if she is able to see the kids and learn what she misses while they are growing she might take it more seriously but probably not.
I wish I had an answer for this but not knowing her makes it difficult. Can you go see someone as a supporter to her needs and get answers? Would she go to any counseling?

 

let me guess -- not the same guy responsible for all 3---(no offense)

do these guys play any role in this scene?

 

she needs to give this next one up for adoption right away, have it all set up before she has birth. Im sorry to hear about the situation and wish I could offer more, I'm sure your sister knows right from wrong she just dosent know how to control herself but she definetly needs a wake up call on the sex issue. Needs an STD scare or something, 4 real

 

Your sister is wholly unfit to have children and should never get them back.
There is in some places nurses, social workers etc who all but force "girls" like your sister into getting their tubes tied so they can't keep making check children. My friend was a nasty and stupid slut who bought everything with ass from the scum of the earth. Those children are 25-30 now and have been through the same as those, but it really would have been better for everyone if they had not been born.
Not just the anger and damage they do, but that they will never really do anything but be 5 destructive check suckers hurting people where there was only one before.
IF the unborn one is not damaged and gets taken care of it will be the only one that ever had a chance and I am sorry you have had to have a person like that in your life.
Do not let your sister or her kids drag you down and ruin your life. That other woman makes a living off kids and wants to. Keep your life, your kids and whatever else you value away from her completely. It may be rough now but later even if you don't despise her you will see that it was "her or you". Her kind are not human and other things are only "objects" to them.
Sorry. Wish a dump truck would roll back and forth over her before she can manufacture more hopeless suffering in the world.

 

I understand your anger... This must be very frustrating! I am glad I don't know people like your sister (very well at least) because I could bother them all day but at the same time think/wish I should not have to

 

Google 'norplant'. Implanted under the skin it is good birth control for 5 years at least.

 

After the upcoming baby is safely delivered and adopted, would it be possible to have your sister aborted?

 

Isn't it a wee bit late for that?

 

Hmm....please don't take this the wrong way but....how did the kids get to be in such poor shape with nobody else in the family noticing?

I don't really have anything else to add that hasn't already been said but send me a PM if you want to discuss the business you're hoping to start. I might be able to offer you some guidance in that regard.

 

And it would be those kind of reactions from everyone that is likely feeding it.

But the underlying reasons would be being addicted to getting pregnant, everyone beaming at her when she is, and getting treated in a more special way when she is, and of course being a whole lot more hornier and have a lot more orgasms when she is, the main reason.

My first reaction when you said some guy is marrying her was wow, how dumb is that dude?, he's in for a world of headaches, but he'd be in it for the moment cos when she's not pregnant he only gets it once a month and she's a bitch, but when she is pregnant he is getting it everyday and she's all touchy and lovey dovey. Both of them probably only care about the here and now and about themselves, no thought on the consequences, thats what the government is for, the government is supposed to do everything for them, and there is always some sucker thats going to take the kids in, and want to, especially if they cant have kids themselves


Getting lectured by everyone, whether attention is positive or negative, its still attention, the negative just reinforces it, she starts to get her jollies from freaking you out, and at least you talk to her, have something to talk about. Whereas if she did use something like Norplant and none if this happened, she may only get a phone call from you at christmas and she knows full well she wouldnt be able to hang on to this guy she is marrying, she knows she wouldnt be horny enough to keep him satisfied and interested


And its not like the rest of you are ever going to admit it always is about the way you feel when pregnant, how horny it makes you, that it is mostly about sex. So you have to pretend she is damaged or ditzy. She herself will act dumb, then blame the guy. oh he blew inside me its his fault, oh whats Norplant, I dont understand yada yada

There are lots of chics like this, therefore lots of kids that grow up in this or similar situations where the parents never really gave a shit about everything after, but still pretend they do and go along with the same rhetoric and cliches everyone else spouts.

You and ones that talk like you are just as guilty for reinforcing it as is your sister for playing it. In the worst cases its pretty sinister, when it leads to disabilities with the children. Criminal neglect in the workplace that results in severly lowering someones quality of life and whoever is responsible gets drawn over the coals, jail time and big fines that will take decades to work off, same with neg driving on the roads.....but when it comes to mothers that just want to get pregnant to get horny, then neglect their kids....nothing usually happens....because everyone has to pretend thats not why they got pregnant

 

<<You and ones that talk like you are just as guilty for reinforcing it as is your sister for playing it>>

Oh bullshit. People fall over backwards doing anything for nasty skunts like her. Playing the "I had to! Someone said no!" Crap is just that - pure crap.

One thing I do agree on after all these years. When you meet one don't try to talk more thaln once. Tape a trash bag over the bitch's head and throw her vile ass off a bridge. That for sure will work.
The only guilty people are her, her dna damaged fuck buddies and the government that hands another 1,000 a month out to propagate child neglect, abuse, exploitation and all the other debt, crime and human ugliness and nisery that comes with it. Period.

 

I don't think it's right to take her kids from her. I do think it's right to provide intensive support to help her to wake up, grow up, smarten up and be a mother to her children.

She'll have to face her sexual issues.

 

That's because your faithful heart thinks she somehow has it in her. There's nothing there. Really. You just don't know how dime a dozen they are and how rotten. People are shielded from the reality of it by it not being in the press.

The kids are damaged goods for good. That is an unfortunate reality. If she gets them back, it will only be worse. There are people whose living comes off kids like these and they at least are state monitored and have something to lose that they are willing to perform for. Two matched parts, and for those poor little lives, as good as it gets. They should at least have the right to some artificial care since their biological mother is heinous.

You got to think too - with her, their quality of life and life expectancy are extremely low.

She wants to be somebody's child. That game ends in a grave, nuthouse or prison.

 

There's not enough information (for me) to know if the mother is heinous. Neglect isn't uncommon. I think policy in the United States should be intensive support, not adoption and termination of rights.

I like the way people in the following example handled the situation of a mother with 8 kids. Not only did the police not take her kids, they actually returned to the home with clothes, food and other things. The response for this situation (which I'm willing to believe is MUCH worse than OP's sister) is community minded, not punitive (like it is here in the United States).

I can't post the video because it's embedded on somebody's Facebook page

https://www.************/photo.php?v=558359060867263

This thread isn't about changing U.S. policy but it could help to change a young woman who needs to WAKE UP and get a grip on her life, real fast.

People should be helping her. Not wanting to rip her apart for being absent minded, lost and in obvious dire need of help.

 

Already had that. She had clamydia. Or had. Well find out which soon enough when she goes to her appointment.



<3 Bunnie

 

Which I have offered countless times. She refuses to accept. Even from the lawyers when they threaten her. She is not in the least bit interested in accepting that she has done anything wrong. No matter how plain we put it to her she just says "it's done" she isn't in the least bit interested in making any kind of change or improvement. She says she plans to marry this guy (who has drug charges and has straight out said he is "done with this baby shit"). She believe she knows best and that's that. The lawyers should just accept that and give her her children back.


<3 Bunnie

 

I am sorry bun - and if I have been blunt too, but I kinda know what you've been through. Take care of the people around her that aren't as clear and strong as you. It's probably going to get worse before anybody gets any better. A good reason for babies not to be in the middle. My only real point is don't let what happens take you down with it. Best yer heart can ~