My sexuality is not clear enough?

I have always been attracted to females since I can remember, like the first grade with crushes of other girls way before I thought or took interest in guys. As I got older I became even more romantically interested in women and sexually.

However I have only slept with men, and never actually been with another women, men seem easier and its hard to tell if other women is interested[or anybody for me] During sex with guys I never really 100% enjoyed it, and it always felt like a hassle,boring, or job I wish I got paid for. I have tried numerous kinks or fantasys of mine like gang bangs but only liked one Ive had, and it was not a sexually gratification from em either.[More like a pat on my back for trying something new or good job for pleasing the guys]


When I masturbate and watch porn it depends on my mood or what am currently interested in. ie hentai, monsters, lesbians, men, str8t, etc. Recently I have been watching mostly men or anything involving a penis and it gets me off. But its the opposite in real life, unless the men are really or near female looking.

In reality when I have sex with men in the past I had to imagine it was a woman with a strap on just to get off for the FIRST TIME.Or just thinking of a girl instead of a guy helps with the sex. Also am sexually turned on more for women and unlike men am romantically attracted to them, and would like to be in a relationship with one.[Never felt comfortable when guys would try to hit on me or want to be in a relationship with me]




I am a college student and extremely shy or at least I think I am. I thought comming to college would finally be the opertunity to be with a woman, but my school many are extrovert and my few attempts at ppl have failed. I also communite in the county so don't really hang out much with ppl from my school. I am trying to masterbate more to women , am I a pansexual whom not romantically into men or a lesbian with a fetish involving dicks?

 

If you're finding yourself turned on only be women including thinking of other women while having sex with a man, I'd say you're more than likely a lesbian which is cool. If you are attracted to both genders then it's bisexual.

Pansexual is like bisexual but it's not. A pansexual will be attracted to more than just the body but that greater connection. Gender does not even play a part of it. You just like them and that's that. And then it goes deeper...depending on the person.

For yourself, it's a confusing time and hugs for you. Maybe drop in at local lgbt support/community groups and start up the chat about your position. I'm sure you'll find people willing to help you out.

 

thanks that may be it

 

I knew someone once who told me that he wished he was born a female so that he could be a lesbian.....I do not know how that applies to you, but I thought of it while reading what you wrote. Good luck with whatever you do or how you choose to live. It is a journey to self discovery, it seems....I am still doing that journey, too....

 

First off I start with the stuff thats probably going to piss you off:

Pansexual? what a load of crap, Pansexual means attracted to everything, but you say sex with ordinary guys is boring and a hassle, so Pansexual except 90% of the male half of the population, and probably except at least 3/4 of the female population, so not even remotely close to Pansexual, and pretty much just like everyone else you want maybe 10% of the population thats going to get you worked up, that you are ready for it, everyone else can go jump


Secondly, the stuff you might listen to:

I had to re read that post as first time I assumed you were a guy, especially the porn part, how many guys do you think there are that would actually watch less porn than you, you are constantly told from all sources that guys are visual creatures, yet if it is the case you watch more porn than most of them, why is that?, where are you on that bell curve? Just how many girls out there are like you, watch just as much porn as the guys, get going just as much on visuals as guys supposedly do

Aside from that you said men IRL have to be "really or near female looking" so basically its only chics with dicks you are into, whether they be male or female, pretty tomboy gay girls with strapons....either that or from your other BDSM thread big mean guys that are going to treat you bad

All those categories are pretty rare so its just a numbers game anyway, MTF trans is 1 in 4000, those that could be described as hot, half that so up to 1 in 10,000, extra pretty gay guys 1 in 100 at best and they arent going to want girls, pretty tomboy gay girls, maybe 1 in 100 again, and how many of them do you think get fed up with girls like you.....and on the other side, big mean guys that are actually going to be able to ram away for hours, probably just 1% again and you wont have any power over them, for if they've always got another dozen girls that text them just for booty calls, why they going to bother with anything else?

 

What Vanilla is trying to say is just give up now lol

 

I don't mind watching dicks in straight porn myself though I'm gay, they're kinda hot I guess. But maybe I'm more attracted to the female having a good time with it, I don't know.
Not too interested in the flesh though. I'd like to watch a chick suck a guy off or something.. I don't mind being around it but haven't gotten myself there yet.

 

To Vanilla Gorilla

I am attracted to everything trans,women,men, and hermaphrodites and I could see myself in a relationship with them all except for a guy.

Both men and women are visually, to a certain degree idk, maybe.Plus who doesn't watch porn regardless of how much

BDSM does not equal treat me bad,their is a lot more to it, and am looking for a professional or experience

I don't understand your conclusion its no ware near what I was trying to say or find, I do not want to purposely seek a transsexual or gay man??

Thats definitly noware naer me nor what I like IRL if your saying thats all I want to seek in real life or goning to get lol the opposite, but like I said I desire a women and in the other forum more opportunities to explore my kinks and get out their, safely though

 

MindControlledShepple

Lol I don't think he/she understood my question or I wrote it wrong

 

Irminsul

I kinda feel that way when am watching straight porn to , but gay porn I often imagine the other guy is a girl, often that's the only category where the men really moan a lot lol

 

Ahhh yes, but do you even understand the question? Thats why your here isnt it, why the thread title is what it is

You are kind of contradicting yourself:

I'll throw in the PC just cos a guy is feminine doesnt mean he's gay.....buuuut most of the time yes it does, and every MTF trans is trying to be feminine, thats the whole point

These questions are rhetorical, dont need an answer (more specifically I'm not going to expect the truth anyway)

But, its females mostly you are into, its going to be certain types above the others, and likely one type in particular that gets you going more than anything else, who are they? And is that the same with Porn as in real life or is it rather different. Girly girls, or do they have to have a spoonful of guy, still be pretty but tomboyish, or do they have to be really butch.

And with porn, its not just about how much you are watching, but what you are watching. You say when watching gay porn you like to imagine the "other guy", I assume you mean sub to be a girl, so In real life you may want to be the sub, but when watching porn you might fantasize about being the dominant one. But then in real life there may be some gay girl you really into that finds out you watch gay male porn and thats a big red flag and a deal breaker, may be like WTF, while others may not care, all these are conflicting things

And its not just the confusion with yourself, its what comes from everyone else. What you were saying in the other thread about trying to find a master and being wary of craiglist, because most guys are just going to be after a drunken orgy

If you want that Master to be male and the BDSM to be non sexual, well as far as he is concerned, and professional, well then your only option probably is to pay for it. Because you'd have to find a presumadly older male who when alone with a near naked college girl is more interested in helping you explore that rather than just trying to get horizontal with you. And three guesses which types of males best fit that description. You may find it offensive having to pay for it. But as I said before its a numbers game in the end you are really paying for that 1% that arent interested in a happy ending for them

And if you dont want that master to be female, why not, cos it will just be too sexual for you, or you dont want one too butch, or will it be like the wrong way around, or you'd really love it if a girly girl could do it

Add to that all the basic human conundrums, of once you get what you want you'll get bored too quickly and want something else, always think about what you cant get, once you know they want you, you dont want them, change your mind too quickly, one day you want this, another day you want that, like thinking about something, but actually putting in the effort meh, is too much work etc etc.

No one really has the answer for you

 

Do you know what kind of parts you have and do they work?
If you do, then you are not confused about your sexuality. Sexual preference is a matter of taste. There is no consistent accounting for taste but strong preferences or moments of clarity are developed during self aware awakening in early childhood and whatever is going on then in those moments of clarity will be associated with getting off at some level. Intense pleasure and intense pain carry the same intensity of experience and these things can get and are often transposed. Certainly in other areas of our lives we can confuse pain with pleasure as in the case of addiction or finding satisfaction in punishing someone that doesn't want to be punished or found guilty.

 

Vanilla Gorilla deeeeep I see some something though espy how to deeply think it or understand actually why or the reason

Feminine looking or androgynous males whom dont always mean they are gay. I don't have a fetish for gay men or transwomen/men, I do have attraction to macho buff men but no romantic attraction

I watch all kinds of porn and no that's not the reason why I watch gay porn, I just stated its the porn where guys mostly moan which is a turn on.

Of course the s and m relationship sexual >> Man or women,right not am in one with a experienced male.

Only question was, what is my sexuality but I guess it does not matter for a specific term to describe, and just do instead

 

Interesting points thedope