My parents won't let me go.

I went to my first gathering at 17 with some friends, after reading about it for a couple years on the internet and waiting and fantasizing, so I caution also...

I never thought about what I'd do if a hippy-looking kind-eyed man hugged me too tight and hard (yes, that kind of hard), massaged me too personally, or on the other hand, enlightened me beyond my state of mind at the time. It was a mind fuck that gathering, no doubt. And almost a bad body one, too. Please read more than I did and know what you will do in all situations. And, yes, do not go without your parents permission. It wouldn't be fair to your first experience and it wouldn't be fair to whomever was with you if the word goes out to the cops you're there.

When I went, though my parents thought I was only camping with a few friends, they at least knew exactly where I was going and trusted who I was with. If, on the other hand, I ran away, I guarantee you they would have flipped, called the cops, and there would have been a warrant out on my friend's car, and they would have called every friend they had a number to until one let out where I was, and then they would have sent the sheriff. Hell, just last summer when I ran into trouble my sister was worried that I hadn't called in 3 days (sweet) and called the county sheriff where she knew I was. He was later out where the camp was and let me know she was looking for me. He wasn't worried because I'm a grown woman, but if I would have been under 18 there would have been at the least embarrassment and who knows what anymore at the worst.

Back when I was 17, I only went 8 hours away to a small regional. I had 10 days off work. After 9 days, I called in, lied and said I caught lice, and stayed an extra 4 days. By then, I was catching on that this was a miracle in action, this rainbow thing, and the light outshone the dark tenfold. IT WILL STILL BE THERE ALWAYS, WChild, so don't strain its coming into your life. Your light will shine ten times your dark times. Punch your walls a few times, get a job for financial freedom, figure out how to get world peace while all of us with less time on this planet, and stiffer knees, ohm for you and see if you can feel it over the fireworks. That's just a suggestion, though, and if I see you there, you are welcome in the Magic Bowl kitchen. Here's a tip: don't tell me who you are, unless you want me to drive you to town ASAP to call your parents. Honestly, I'll do that. You'll have to run away from me, too. lol

 

I'm really hoping to go. It could do both of us good (me and my mom) in the long run, but she doesn't seem to see what will help me. She just pushes me to behave better and get better grades and ignores the fact that an escape will help my relationship with my family. There is a greyhound station in El Paso. How do you find out where these buses go?

 

call, get on the net & check prices but the closest town won't be known until late June & usually the town is not on a bus route; just have your basic fares set for the major cities & check a map to see where the cities are in relation to the National Forests

With the mom situation; have you tryed asking her to take you? It might also help if you do some extra credit to raise your grades & treat your parents & teachers with the same respect that you have been showing with us here. Sometimes if you give a little, a lot will come back to you. There's a saying that I like- 'A branch that bends in the wind will spring back; a branch that does not bend will often break in a strong wind.'

C

 

This is something to think about, though small and simple.

I went alone when I was 16.

I took my mom when I was 18 (until I set up camp, met my friends, and all that jazz, then she left)

That's what experience can do.

 

I was thinking that maybe she could take the bus ride with me, and once I was at the site she could leave, because I definitely do not want her there. She seems set that I can't go. She sort of led me on until now. I guess I have to miss out on yet another thing. First the Bob Dylan concert, now this. Why can't something go right for just once in my life?

 

you still have an entire life ahead of you.
missing 1 gathering and 1 bob dylan concert is not the end of the owrkd.

there will be plenty more in the future that you will be able to attend. Look forward to that instead of getting upset about your current situation.

 

Heh, I love Bob Dylan. I mean LOVE LOVE LOVE Bob Dylan, as in I have his name Tattoo'd on my body. I missed a concert a many years ago of him and Paul Simon because no one would go with me and we were too poor. I cried, and was sad, and blah blah blah. Still upset I missed it.. but I've seen him several times since, and I lived (though I thought maybe I wouldn't)

Yeah, you're only 15, you do have your entire life before you. I have a million of things I want to do, and I've accomplished very few of them, although I have been taking small steps towards them....... but I mean, I'm just a mess really, half the stuff I want to do contradict each other.. but the way I see it.. I'm 20, I'm young.. I could die tomorrow, but I will get things done if they're meant to be done !!

We're young, we have time

I've missed gatherings, and I would have to say, having been to them, missing them hurts more than it hurt when I missed Idaho before I had gone to them.

I lived through that too !!

Your situation will change, and all things pass.

pleeeeeeease refer back to my list of things you can check out in yer area. I can probably find some Rainbow's in texas to let you talk to if you like. (I don't know any off the top of my head, but I'm sure if you ask, you'll recieve~!)

 

Advaya, i wonder who you are. You seem to be argueing both parts of the problem. Thanks.

And mike also. And Honor Seed, for stayin positive. It is easy to let rightous caution turn our backs on the passion that we felt just a few years ago. People deserve to be themselves.
But we should be careful, and we should take advice.

Child, You are not really running away if you tell your mom you are going to the rainbow gathering. You might not make it out of town. Your mom knows the dates you would be gone and the dates you would be back. The cops could almost predict which bus you would be on, and have a picture of you.
I hate to admit defeat, but right or wrong, somebody might end up i jail, and you would be in a fight with your parents for a long time. Maybe you should be really sweet to your parents and start planning for your first gathering soon? The do have rainbow gatherings all over the world. There are dozens every year in the USA alone.
This particular gathering is not intinsic to your spiritual development. Making you miss Bob Dylan though, that was harsh.

 

Advaya, Sis please pay attention, some of the Rainbow events that you listed are not happening anymore. The East TX regional can be a bit of an A-camp movie & we wouldn't advise a young teen to attend as a first Gathering. As far as Rainbow is Texas; we are Rainbows in Texas & there is a google chat group set up for Texas Rainbows. Some very kind folks that we know are getting ready to start a community in central TX and they have been discussing the possiblity of having regional events on their land.

WoodstockChild- you say that you wouldn't want your mother to stay at the Gathering but do you realize that the Gathering is a very large place? It is possible that if your mom went with you that she would find people & workshops that she is interested in & you would find other people & workshops that you are interested in; and the 2 of you might become closer by discussing how each of you spent your days at the Gathering. She would feed her need to be a parent and you would feed your need to explore & learn. It could be a very positive experience for you both.

And if this years Gathering does not become a reality for you; don't feel bad, we won't be able to make it this year either. Sometimes what you want is not what the creating Spirit has in mind for you.

 

When I was a teenager, I missed EVERYTHING! I was an only child and they were overly protective. My mom actually WANTED to take me to woodstock, but circumstances prevented this. But one piece of important advice I will give you is, when you finally ARE able to do things without the ball and chain around your neck, DO THEM! Its too easy to get yourself caught up in other things as you get older and end up losing out on even more great adventures. And you cant turn the clock back, and regrets are a bitch...

The things I missed out on, well, I still wish things could have been otherwise, and 40 years have gone by. And now, I have to many responsibilities and ties, and I still have to watch stuff Id really like to be a part of go by without me.

I have been a parent a long time. I know the feeling of worrying about your kids when you have no idea what they are doing or where they are. Thats love for ya. But parents have a way of taking that to extremes and I am here to say that they might do some things that you will never forgive them entirely for. I still feel to this day that my parents held me back from being all that I could be, and they were even liberal thinkers...

Heres the thing tho. Me and my mom ended up doing stuff TOGETHER that I never would have thought about in my wildest dreams. And I was sometimes horrified, but I got over that and developed a new respect for her. We ended up being great friends.
What Im saying is that you might have better luck if you could convince her to GO WITH YOU the first time. An adventure together. SHE might be horrified, but once youre there it aint so easy to just leave. It could be the one thing she could do for you to turn the tables as far as your relationship with her goes. And it could be the one thing that turns her life around just a tad. Iknow, horrible thought, but Rainbow isanadventure anyhow. You never know what you might learn. And you need to keep an open mind anyhow, so having her come with you would be part of that. Try making two plans. One for if nothing goes well and you need to leave early, and another for just in case mom decides to let you stay longer... Well its just a thought.

 

Sorry, I didn't realize things weren't still going on. I haven't been to Texas, I just thought she'd be more likely to find local things to do that her parents could still approve of (or at least allow !) and she could make contacts.

Here is a great place for her though, I made tons of friends here when I was 13 and 14 whom I still have and two of whom I met at my first gathering.(I've been here a looong time.. I was Dakota Rain, I was Neros Neptune, I'm Advaya.. probably something when I was 12, can't remember).

I also am an only child, and live in an extremely rural area. This was a lifeline for me until I could drive/get a job/make outside contacts.

Some not to shady suggestions I've found to work would still be checking local health food stores for fliers. Maybe some spirituality would agree with her, buddhist or quaker maybe? There is a lot she can do in the meantime.

Rasta, what do you mean you wonder who I am? I'm me..... I don't understand quite what you meant by argueing both points, and if the thanks was sarcasm........ I can be quite dense

Anyways, I don't want to cause any trouble, make rainbow sound bad, or anything.... I just mostly worry about her traveling alone, once she's at the gathering I think she'd be okay if she used her head and had advance warning on what to watch for. Ideally her parents or someone experienced would go with her, that's all.

 

Things sort of came crashing down today. I don't mean to whine or be annoying, and I appologize, but I was really emotionally beaten down by the kids at school today. They made a fool out of me in front of 30 people twice in one day. A friend I thought I could trust just started going out with the guy I told her I loved so much and she promised she wouldn't get close with him. Guess she lied. I should have known by the way she was dancing with him. But she seemed so nice, and always made me feel good about myself. She seemed pretty shaken when she realized that I knew. I don't think my mom loves me anymore. I was really depressed today, if you mix all this in with her stiffness towards the gathering. My grandma asked my mom why I was upset, and she said "nothing that anybody cares about. Maria, can you leave the room or the house? I really don't feel like looking at you". So I left, and she jst talked on the phone. Why does she hate me? Why doesn't she understand? All she does is push me. She doesn't know what it's like to go to high school, and she certainly doesn't care. It's sealed. I'm not going. I've done everything in my power but, to put it bluntly, she just doesn't care. I give up.

 

It's amazing how alike we were, except I had trouble with my father instead of my mother. My mother was pretty supportive of me. I had a horrible time in high school, I actually stopped going to school (which I feel was my weakness, I gave in to them). I had to go to therapy for their taunting, it was horrific. It's hard being being young and different, it's hard being young period, much less different. It does get better though, I promise. I hope you find people like I did here when I was where you are at now. There are amazing people on here, they will find you and you won't be alone. I maintain friendships with people I met from here and can still remember the first time I talked to several. This place is magical in a way similar to the gathering, if you look right.

You'll have lots of great experiences in your life, this is all just a learning experience even if you learn from it much later. You can talk to me anytime you want, I've been through all this and I can tolerate whining if you want to whine! (not to say you are, but I definately did my share )

Don't mourn over the gathering or see it as a personal defeat. The gathering is amazing in how it does what it's meant to do. Things happen there when they're meant to happen. I'm sure not going has it's purpose as well. You WILL go, I promise. Maybe not this time, but in time.

 

Everybodys parents are different. Its easy to assume that all parents are good roll models and dilligent and perfect... But I know alot of so called parents who only had their kids because they couldnt stay off their backs and were either too high on bad drugs or too drunk to care where babys come from. Those kids ended up being looked after by everyone and no one. No direction, no security except to know they can beg a bed or a meal at someones house if they have to. I have been around other parents who spent all their waking moments screaming at their kids, putting them down and ordering them around like slaves. I dont know where yours fit into this scale of things, but I hope its not like that for you.

All the SHIT that you have gone thru at school and with your boyfriend, well, welcome to the world of teenage hell. Its all a big and ugly but very common part of it. The trick is to learn to rise above all this commonness. Your interest in things Rainbow shows that you are an uncommon person for your age. Take the bad stuff as a lesson.
If you can learn from your own problems AND from others problems too, it will be really helpful for you later on while your schoolmates are still living their angry and miserable soap opera lives...
15 is probably the hardest age there is. Im sure that no matter how your mom acts or what she says, that she has to remember what it was like to be that age. I sure do! Is it possible that when everyone has cooled out a little that you could sit down and have an adult conversation with her and let her know how things are making you feel? Dont even bring the Gathering subject into it, just feelings in general. If she sees you can discuss things rationally like an adult then maybe she will feel more confident about your judgement. Or if she is like one of those other parents she simply wont give a damn, and keep on acting uncaring. Perhaps you will be the one acting adult and she will be the childish one. But if thats the case, she obviously just doesnt know any better way to do things or she has forgotten how... Sometimes the way people react to each other is nothing more than bad habit. Just used to doing it a certain way and not thinking about the consequence. Asleep at the wheel.
Only you know how bad or good things are at home, and only you know what to do about it. Just try real hard to stop and THINK about the consequences of your words and actions BEFOREHAND and you can avoid some trouble. You wont be 15 forever, and I know people who became emancipated minors at 16, which means you are legally allowed to live pretty much like an adult, on your own. But for that you must have a good way of supporting yourself, and actually be capable of living like an adult...
Oh, and if you do decide to go to the Gathering anyhow, at least call home at some point and let them know you are ok. And dont make them wait too long.

 

Ugg, teen years & peers that tend to feed on the unique! More pain than I want to remember...

WoodstockChild, I think I can relate to where you're coming from & most people here are going to understand what it's like to be the 'different' kid at school.

I'm going to PM you & see if we can find some answers for you.

Cinnamon

 

Okay, This quote is as far as I could get without saying something, believe me I tried to wait however this is just so ridiculous and screwed up in so many ways.
Has anyone thought that perhaps this child is really an adult, hmm perhaps a cop, detective, or who knows what? Who the hell (sorry to offend if you actually are an aggrivated, frustrated 15 yr. old girl) says "Flower Power", etc.? I don't know, I tend to be sceptical anyway. Let alone of someone talking a bit too hippie cliche' and asking adults they do not know for instructions on how to get to the gathering and help getting there from a non-group that the government has & is trying so damn hard to say is a group that should be outlawed. Seems a bit odd to me.

It also, in my opinion, is noway cool or wise to advice someone to run away, let alone runaway to come to a gathering. IF someone runs away and ends up there ON THEIR OWN EFFORTS is far, far, far different than encouraging it. Shit. My thirteen year old is coming to his second gathering and we are having quite a few talks about personal safety so that he is aware and doesn't digest something he is not ready to digest, how to listen & respect his gut insticts and intuition, etc. Everyone is different however no one knows this girl. None of us know who she is except a false name on the Internet! If she is for real why not start by attending local potluck gatherings to meet people and experience on that safer level near home and see if she even gets into it?
Then there is the whole thing of being a chick, a young chick, traveling alone. All I can do is shake my head and think that anyone not getting why it isn't encouragable for her to do this obviously is not a female, or if she is than has been either sheltered or just plain lucky. There are more females that are sexually assulted in some way than females who are not. I agree we should not live in fear, however one can act in wisdom rather than fearfulness and stop to think things through.
That said I'll zip it and step down from my soap box.

 

No. Not again. Please not again. This can't be happening again. No. Please. The last website I was on (The Baby Boomer's Chat on the American Idol boards) accused me of being an internet predator and plagiarising all my work, and it hurt. It hurt so bad because I wasn't an internet predator wrote all my work from my heart. I celebrated my fifteenth birthday on May 9th. I just want somewhere to go where I can talk to people who share my views. Is that so wrong? My real name is Maria, but I like to go by my made-up name, Rani Lee Taylor.

 

If you really need proof, here's my picture.

 

I wouldn't take it so personal.............

.........you have to understand reality, the family is a constant target of LEO's, and this site is as well, people have to be careful. Regardless of you being who you say you are, the reality is that thier actually are people who would like nothing more than to find another reason to go after the family and the people in it.

~Radical ideas and change are almost always met with opposition from the state in power. It threatens thier security and power, therefore, in thier minds they must destroy it at all cost.

I haven't replied to this yet, but as far as your going to nationals, your time will come, be patient, read all you can, educate yourself. Learn about politics, get involved with family in your local community, get involved with burners in your local community, write letters, protest, go to lectures, whatever. I for one, would like nothing better than to see a major movement towards a greater good, and in order to do that we need well balanced, educated, people who can provide support and influence that will MATTER. You are young and idealistic, alot like me when I was 15, I realize that you yearn for that spirit of community and comraderie, you feel like a social outcast, and you feel that nobody understands you, well, the rest of us have been through that..........it's life, you can either be impulsive and do something to give us more of a bad rep, create trouble for yourself, and possibly have alot of bad experiences, or you can be intelligent, sit tight, learn about yourself, FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE, try and make a difference locally, and most importantly I cannot stress this enough, read everything, learn to see the whole picture, educate yourself to the highest degree (not necessarily in school) and your time will come, and I gurantee, when it does, you will be happy that you did not act impulsively, and you will have gained so much more knowledge and experience. Love and Light lil sistah ~Rob

 

El Paso could use some of the Rainbow spirit